Saturday, December 21, 2002

I also think Renee Zellweger and Joey Lauren Adams are the same person. I will have proof later to back up my astounding claim, stay tuned. Ah-ah-ah-ah, don't touch that dial.

Ha! I have proof.

Which one is Renee, and which one is Joey Lauren? It doesn't matter because they are both the same person. I see the seamy underbelly of Hollywood being exposed once again. First it was the Ethan Hawke/Elijah Wood/Winona Ryder expose. Then it was the Kirsten Dunst/Julia Stiles revelation. Now we have the Renee/Joey Lauren disclosure. What's next? Is Freddie Prinze Jr actually Freddie Prinze Sr? Is Seigfried actually Roy? Is General Mills really General Electric? It boggles the mind just how deep this conspiracy might go, but don't worry America, don't worry the rest of the free world. I will remain ever vigilant, and I will not rest, I will not waver until I have the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth SO HELP ME GOD. Nurse, is it time for my nap?