Friday, December 27, 2002

The multi-talentless Kelly Osbourne has been voicing her distaste for pop trash-diva Christina Aguilera lately. In a recent interview the porcine-ish Miss Osbourne referred to Miss Aguilera as "one of the most disgusting human beings in the world."
The mirror impaired Miss Osbourne's one time marginally talented father Ozzy has backed his progeny up by stating ... "Sharo-nnnnnnnnnn, abba dabba dabba abba dabba dabba, I can't find me bleeding feet."
At a recent party attended by both, Miss Aguilera put a headlock on the there-but-for-fortune-white-trash queen Miss Osbourne, and told her in so many words, to put up or shut up. The Pillsbury Doughboy look alike Miss Osbourne was left oinkless.

In a related story, the usually clueless Miss Osbourne's new single "Papa Don't Drool" will be in music stores sometime next week.

Kelly Osbourne

Kelly Osbourne, the final piece of evidence I needed to prove that Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy Osbourne are first cousins.