If I were a pro wrestler, I'd want to be Road Warrior Hawk. He's the funny Road Warrior.
If I were a talk show host, I'd want to be Jerry Springer that way I'd be assured of having more teeth than all his guests put together.
If I were a snack cake, I'd want to be a Hostess Twinkie, and no, some generic twinkie just wouldn't do.
If I were a gland, I'd want to be a thyroid gland, because mine doesn't work, and I figure at least some part of me should work, and so that's what a thyroid gland looks like, like a little pink bowtie.
If I were really cool, I'd want to be really cool like mirrored sunglasses, the kind where you can see out, can't nobody see in cool.
If I were to have any sense, I'd go to sleep now, and I do, so I am, and awwwwwwwwwww sleeping babies are so cute, aren't they.