I guess I should go shovel the icy snow off the driveway, patio, sidewalk, and porch, but ...
I have no but, but ...
I'm stalling for time till I come with a but.
Oh man, it's the 4th of April and I don't want to shovel any freaking snow off any freaking driveway, freaking patio, freaking sidewalk, or freaking porch.
I mean I should be looking for the suntan lotion, and the tiny little paper umbrellas to put in my glasses of pink lemonade loaded with crushed ice, oh yeah, and don't forget the maraschino cherries, man I love maraschino cherries, and maybe if I stall long enough the icy snow will melt, and did I mention it is icy snow, not that soft fluffy snow of mid-December, but that crusty, icy, bleechy snow that if you fell on it would give you a concussion or a big gash on your arm, or head, or ass, or something.
Oh well, feel my pain, feel my heartache, feel my ....
whoaaaaaaa, don't feel that, I don't know you that well.
Holy shit!
I just went out to try to shovel it, and I found the but ...
that I was looking for.
I tried to shovel the snow but ...
it is snow covered ice, and I don't do snow covered ice, and since we are supposed to get more crappy weather tonight, I'll just wait till tomorrow and call someone with a plow.
I'm already going stir crazy.
Stir Crazy, starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor and some woman who was probably kind of popular back in the late 70's and early 80's, but like Margot Kidder, is probably lurking around someone's backyard in Encino looking for her dentures, and isn't that sad, Sean Connery just turned 87 and is still considered sexy, well as sexy as you can be with Depends pantylines showing through, and yet (fill in the blank with any actress over the age of 40) can't get arrested, unless it is for vagrancy, or shoplifting, or solicitation, or something.