Yeah, I know it's 2 in the morning, but maybe someone out there needs me to update.
I mean there are a lot of lonely and desperate people out there, and what if ..
What if, I am the person who prevents someone from:
1. Committing suicide.
2. Eating another serving of Ramen Noodles.
3. Masturbating to the video of Madonna kissing Britney Spears and that Christina girl whose last name I can't spell.
4. Ordering a Girls Gone Wild video.
5. Baking a canned ham and some jalepeno cornbread.
6. Tuning in the Game Show Network and marveling at the size of Chuck Woolery's head.
7. Glancing at their dog as if to say, I'm game if you are.
8. Contemplating cheese.
9. I can't think of a #9, so I'll go straight to #10.
10. Writing a poem about the love their father never gave them.
Yeah, what if.