Amuse me.
Dunk my head in the toilet and give me a swirly.
Kick me in the shins and steal my Lucinda Williams' CDs.
Do anything, anything, I tell you, anything.
Tell me a joke.
Sing me a song.
Read me the riot act.
There is something missing in my life.
Is it you.
Is it animal, vegetable or mineral.
Is it bigger than a bread box, and have you ever seen a bread box.
Get me Mavis Bacon's home address.
I need to learn how to type, really really really fast.
Fry me up an order of bacon and eggs while you're at it.
My mind is a sieve.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
But my sleeves are short, so what does that tell you ... darling.
Call me Ishmael.
Call me Igor, or Eye-gore or neither, or neither.
Yes, I have no bananas, but I have no monkeys either.
Fuck, I'll just stick with porn.