Things I Did Not Do Today
Because I'm Sick, Dammit, I'm Sick
1. Get dressed
2. Comb my hair
3. Yank my chain
4. Write a haiku
5. Translate the Gettysburg Address into Pig Latin
6. Pray for Michael Jackson's vindication
7. Question man's inhumanity to man
8. Write a fan letter to Foghorn Leghorn
9. Boogie
10. Untie Star Trek's George Takei and let him out of my basement.