Tuesday, December 31, 2002

I think I know why my posts are only showing up in my archives and not on my current page. I think there is some kind of monthly space limit and because I post so many pics I've exceded the limit. I'll find out when I make my first post after midnight. Gosh oh gee, I can hardly wait. It has given me a reason to look forward to the Nude Year. Life is grand, isn't it.

Should I mention that it is New Year's Eve? There is an old tradition that if you eat black eyed peas on New Year's Day you will have good luck and good fortune for the entire year. Thankfully, I don't believe in traditions. Is it black eye or black eyed? Is it peas or is it pees? Is it New Year's or Nude Year's. Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.

My voice is normally so deep that I make Barry White sound like a sissy, and now with the added hoarseness, due to my cold, I register about a 6.2 on the Richter scale whenever I speak.

I am at the stage of my cold where every time I fall asleep I wake up, and it's a bitch. It's a bitch is a very sexist term isn't it. I imagine you could substitute, it's a bastard, if your genderosity is easily offended. Genderosity, what a hoot. Either way, it wrecks havoc on my already fragile sleep pattern. Stuffy nose, sniffles, sore throat, sneezing, coughing, these have become the norm for my night. If that isn't bad enough, I like to sleep in boxer shorts, but because of a slight chill that goes hand in glove with my cold, I have taken to wearing an old pair of pajama bottoms that I found stuffed in the back of one of my drawers. That is all well and good, but as I mentioned they are an old pair of pajama bottoms, old in the sense that the elastic in the waistband is a thing of the past, and whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, which is a very frequent occurence due to the cold, the pajama bottoms usually end up around my ankles by the time I make it to the bathroom door, and this is not a good thing, because .... are you still with me? When I was a small child they had the last of the big polio scares and one morning I woke up to, you guessed it, go to the bathroom, and I couldn't walk. I was in extreme agony, dragging myself, bawling, and screaming across the floor. You have to realize that this was about five in the morning. so of course my parents were both sound asleep, sound asleep that is until they heard my anguished cries. I was able to babble out that I couldn't walk, and my mother totally freaked. She had POLIO in her eyes. My dad, being the more practical of the two, decided to give me a cursory physical. He pulled down my pajama bottoms and found that my underpants had slipped down around my knees, and yes in our family my father was at least as important as Dr. Jonas Salk in finding a cure for polio, he deftly pulled my underpants back up, and PRAISE THE LORD, I could walk again.
As a brief footnote to this story, I had the same problem a few weeks later, but neither of my parents bothered getting up to help their youngest child as he literally dragged his crippled body across the floor towards the bathroom. The heartless beasts, where was child welfare when I needed them?
This story goes nowhere, and proves nothing except that it is four o'clock in the morning, and my cold is at the stage where every time I fall asleep, I wake up.

I haven't changed much in thirty years, have I?

Boz, The Angry Years.

Monday, December 30, 2002

I don't hype a lot of sites here, but I just re-discovered one of my all time favorite reads, and I thought I'd pass it on.
Take a look see at True Porn Clerk Stories.

Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark

I see this pic and and I can understand what was going through Severin's head.
Or maybe Severin's heart.

We have some major fog. I guess that is what happens when you have ice on the lake and the temperature skyrockets up to the mid 30's. Quick, can anyone name all of the Great Lakes. I'll give you a hint, there are 5 of them. Quick can anyone name the 5 original members of the Rolling Stones. I know, I know. They are Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, Bill Wyman, and Brian Jones. Now here's a tough one. Which is older the Great Lakes or the Rolling Stones?

I think if I start a new blog I will call it Superfluous Tube Socks or better yet, how about Superfluous Tube Sex.

New from Mattel, Slut Barbie

Slut Barbie, waiting for Pimp Ken to take all her money and black both her eyes.

The Detroit Loins football season ended today. Their final record was 3-13. I don't like to brag, no really I don't, but check out this post from September 19th.

On the cold front, boz wise, not weather wise, I have lost my voice, so if I get arrested I will have no choice but to remain silent. I'm hoarse, I'm hoarse, my country for my hoarse, unless of course, the hoarse, of course, is the famous Mister Ed-dddddddd. Oh Wil-burrrrrrrrrr.

Sunday, December 29, 2002

Glub, glub, glub. My posts still aren't showing up on my current page. I asked my techie guru and she thought it was a blogger glitch, here's hoping. I also contacted blogger, but figure the odds on getting help on a free account. Will I stay, or will I go now. Will I become the lyrics to another Clash class anthem, and what about Joe Strummer, did he stay or did he go now, or is he just pining for the fjords?

Still sick, still paranoid, still unable to post. Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. By the time I get to Yazger's farm I'll still be sick, still be paranoid, and still be unable to post. As the one-eyed drunken pirate likes to say Arrrrrrrrghhh, I only have one eye and I'm drunk.

This is driving me crazy. My posts are showing up in my archives but not on the current page. Why does this crap happen to me when I am sick and prone to paranoia.

Trashy Goth Girl in fishnets and Doc Martens.

Trashy Goth Girl, the tube socks are just an added fetish bonus, and why just legs, and why is she posing in the bathroom, and why does the caged bird sing, and why do fat babies fart, and why do fools fall in love, and why must I be the fool they are talking about, because, because, because The Trashy Goth Girl, in the fishnets and Doc Martens and the superfluous tube socks, has stolen my blackest of black hearts. So sue me.

I know I am a hypochondriac, but I really do have a cold, and it really does suck, and my nose is running, and my throat is sore, and my feet smell, and I need a shave, and my dog ran off, and my girlfriend too, and my life is like a country song that just got run over by a truck.

Friday, December 27, 2002

I'm watching the movie Blade Runner on the Sci-Fi Channel, and now without further ado, ladies and gentlemen ...
The Babes of Blade Runner

Sean Young

Joanna Cassidy

Daryl Hannah

Sean, Joanna, and Daryl, who cares if they're Replicants. I don't, do you. Is that so. Come here, I have a little test I want to try out on you, won't hurt a bit, honest.

The multi-talentless Kelly Osbourne has been voicing her distaste for pop trash-diva Christina Aguilera lately. In a recent interview the porcine-ish Miss Osbourne referred to Miss Aguilera as "one of the most disgusting human beings in the world."
The mirror impaired Miss Osbourne's one time marginally talented father Ozzy has backed his progeny up by stating ... "Sharo-nnnnnnnnnn, abba dabba dabba abba dabba dabba, I can't find me bleeding feet."
At a recent party attended by both, Miss Aguilera put a headlock on the there-but-for-fortune-white-trash queen Miss Osbourne, and told her in so many words, to put up or shut up. The Pillsbury Doughboy look alike Miss Osbourne was left oinkless.

In a related story, the usually clueless Miss Osbourne's new single "Papa Don't Drool" will be in music stores sometime next week.

Kelly Osbourne

Kelly Osbourne, the final piece of evidence I needed to prove that Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy Osbourne are first cousins.

I lived through the night and I am about to go to the drugstore and buy every cold/crud remedy known to man. I have to spend all this xmas money on something, don't I. If I don't make it back go ahead and start without me.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

I think I am sick. I know I am sick. Time for aspirin, nyquil, plenty of fluids and bed. I hate when this happens, but maybe it won't happen.

After Xmas Thoughts

Even though I was out of town for the holidays I was able to carry on with my favorite holiday tradition of driving around trying to find stores that are open on xmas day.
My nephew's six year old daughter burnt me, in front of everyone, for not saying grace before our xmas buffet, and this was after I gave her an Easy Bake Oven.
I lusted after my brother-in-law's 58 inch HD projection TV.
I ate everything that wasn't tied down, and lived to tell about it.
I am the family electronic's genius, meaning that I am the one that finally checks to see if it is plugged in after all else fails.
Six inches of snow on xmas morning.
How did people live before high speed internet access? Why did people live before high speed internet access?

My favorite xmas present is a Black and Decker zip saw with 15 attachments. This is the first tool I have ever had with the capability of cutting off a finger 15 different ways.
Tool, hehehe.

I'm back!

Monday, December 23, 2002

Ho, ho, ho and merry xmas. I'll blog you in a few days.

Yippie, Dippie, Doo. I'm going out of town today to spend xmas with relatives in the big city. The big city I am referring to has a population of about 8500, which would make it about 4 times the size of the small town that I live in. I mean, they have a Walmarts and a Kmarts. How huge is that.

Sunday, December 22, 2002

Skid row kitties, society's blight.

Skind Row Kitties, a product of our purrrrrrrrmissive society.
Kindly change that to SKID Row Kitties. I must have had a little too much nog in my egg when I posted that.

Pity post.

The media is making a big deal about the President getting a smallpox shot. Chrissakes, he only got the SHOT not smallpox.

Everyone should go listen to some John Prine tunes. You should be able to
I'm trying to think of my favorite Prine song. I think it might be Donald and Lydia a song about two lonely people that ...
"made love in the mountains, they made love in the streams,
They made love in the valleys, they made love in their dreams.
But when they were finished there was nothing to say,
'Cause mostly they made love from ten miles away."

Saturday, December 21, 2002

I also think Renee Zellweger and Joey Lauren Adams are the same person. I will have proof later to back up my astounding claim, stay tuned. Ah-ah-ah-ah, don't touch that dial.

Ha! I have proof.

Which one is Renee, and which one is Joey Lauren? It doesn't matter because they are both the same person. I see the seamy underbelly of Hollywood being exposed once again. First it was the Ethan Hawke/Elijah Wood/Winona Ryder expose. Then it was the Kirsten Dunst/Julia Stiles revelation. Now we have the Renee/Joey Lauren disclosure. What's next? Is Freddie Prinze Jr actually Freddie Prinze Sr? Is Seigfried actually Roy? Is General Mills really General Electric? It boggles the mind just how deep this conspiracy might go, but don't worry America, don't worry the rest of the free world. I will remain ever vigilant, and I will not rest, I will not waver until I have the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth SO HELP ME GOD. Nurse, is it time for my nap?

If you could have either style or substance, which would you choose? If I were playing touch football it would be Richard from across the street, but if it were Trivial Pursuit, it would be Charlie from Hakata. By the way, I am a kick-ass Trivial Pursuit player, ask, anyone. Go ask Alice, I think she'll know. Does anyone have Mavis Beacon's home number, I am in serious need of some typing help.

Mavis "teach me something I didn't already know" Beacon

But, seriously what would you choose, style or substance.
Tell me quick man, I got to run. (random Dylan lyric, furnished by random Dylan Lyric Generator)

Goodnight everyone, drive carefully, and may Ga bless - Red Skelton circa 1959

Do you remember Chloe Sevigny who played the Nebraska trailer trash queen that fell in love with Hilary Swank's gender-bender drugstore cowboy in Boys Don't Cry?

Chloe Sevigny, from Nebraska Trailer Trash Queen to NYC Heroin Chic Chick quicker than you can say "Speed Kills".

Friday, December 20, 2002

My life is so boring I am reading a beer by beer account of Kevynn's boring night. Will he puke in the fish bowl, will he shave the cat, will he join a Buddhist monastary, will he turn into Yoda-boy? We should find out by the 6th beer.

Did somebody mention Yoda-boy?

Me thinks boy-Yoda am I.

Find the hidden pic and win a prize.

Lucky me. I am going to Hungry Howie's for dinner tonight. It's just as good as Pizza Hut, remembering that good is a relative term, and you don't have to tip. Two one item medium pizzas, an order of Howie Bread, and what is the xmas season without Howie Bread, and a two liter bottle of Coke, and in case I forgot to mention it, no tip. Oh yeah, the cost, it's $14.99 with coupon, and by the way, there is no tip.

The original Hungry Howie's, dont accept imitations, or wooden nickels, or candy from strangers unless you really like candy.

Is Farscape coming back, or isn't it? I've only seen it a couple of times, but that kookie looking chick is very interesting.

That Kookie Looking Chick from Farscape.
I didn't lie, did I. She's kookie, isn't she.

We have a better chance of having a Foggy Christmas than we do a White one. Speaking of fog ... isn't Mel Torme the Velvet Fog, and didn't Mel Torme write the Christmas Song, (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) then doesn't that bring us full circle? From fog to Torme to the Christmas Song. I love it when I make sense, barely.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

I've made a few changes, can you spot them? I've made a few changes, can I spot them?

Wait till the tabloids get ahold of this ...
Julia Stiles and Kirsten Dunst are the same person!

Once again I have exposed Hollywood's seamy underbelly. One actress, two names, double the crappy teen movies. Someone must be held accountable, and why do I even know who they are?

Favorite Bob Dylan song titles.

1 It Takes a Lot to Laugh, It Takes a Train to Cry
2 Queen Jane Approximately
3 It's All Over Now, Baby Blue
4 From a Buick Six
5 Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again
6 Temporary Like Achilles
7 Just Like Tom Thumb"s Blues
8 Ballad in Plain D
9 Subterranean Homesick Blues
10 Love Minus Zero / No Limit
11 It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)

I guess that proves just how shallow I am. I have favorite song titles, not favorite songs. Does that cut to the chase, or cut to the quick?

Favorite Bob Dlyan Album cover.

Bringing It All Back Home

Rumor had it that Dylan was also the woman in red, in drag.

You decide.
Ah, the 60's, hidden meanings and subliminal messages ran amok,
and you didn't need a weatherman, to know which way the wind blew.

Dharma & Greg was (¿were?) cancelled. So when were (¿was?) you going to tell me?

Jenna Elfman, looking for the karma, that made up her dharma, but I don't think she'll find it there.

If you look closely you can see she also lost her belly button stud. Did I just say stud?

Jenna Elfman's Belly, no Dharma, no karma, no stud, bummer. Alas, poor Jenna, I knew her.

Facts and rumors after the Beachboys.
Drummer Dennis Wilson married lead singer Mike Love's illegitimate daughter just to spite him.
Boy genius Brian Wilson was once tied to a tree by his father as a means of punishment.
Both boy genius Brian and younger brother Carl Wilson married girls that they met when the girls were 15, and the brothers were of legal age.
Charles Manson sang back-up on California Girls, nah, I made that up.
Charles Manson and part of his cult lived with Dennis Wilson.
Boy genius Brian Wilson had a gigantic sandbox constructed in the middle of his living room, so that Brian could play piano and feel the essence of the beach, both at the same time.
Boy genius Brian Wilson was crazy, duh!
Why am I writing this, duh!
I am tired and I need to go to bed, duh!
I wish they all could be California grils, duh!
I mean girls, duh!
Hey, what about us grils, duh?
snort and pop, fade to grey.

Wednesday, December 18, 2002

Do you detect a theme in the previous two posts?

Famous redhead Julianne Moore in black and white.

Famous redhead Julianne Moore, is that a sabre in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

The pic for today is ...


A nice grey Hanes boxer brief.
Part of the "show us your underpants" campaign to raise money to help in the fight against penile dysfunction.

I'll be going grocery shopping this afternoon, can I get you anything? How about a nice ham, they're on sale this week, and so is the cheesecake, and you know how I love a good cheesecake, and it's a sampler. What the heck, everyone pile in the car, burgers on me, as long as you get the Big and Tasty, no cheese. God, I love xmas, it makes me feel so festive, and how about that song "Hey, Santa" by either Wilson Phillips, Wilson, or Carnie Wilson, (you decide, I have seen it credited to all three) if that doesn't get your eggnog flowing nothing will.

To all you dolphin huggers: what about the tuna?

The Springer show I'm sorry I missed.

The Springer show I'm sorry I missed, it really heated up when they brought Ernie out.

Cripes! The local schools are closed because the rain turned to freezing rain, which morphed into icy roads. Oh the humanity, and how come this never happened when I was in school?

Who's head bobbles more?

BobbleHead Ozzy

BobbleBrained Ozzy

BobbleHead Ozzy and the rest of the Osbournes are on sale at our local Ben Franklin store for $9.99.
We got your #%&#@ing Prince of Darkness.

Tuesday, December 17, 2002

1 Dom Deluise
2 Jack Webb
3 Fred MacMurray
4 Rose Marie
5 Gregory Peck
6 Abe Vigoda
7 Ed Asner
8 Carroll O'Connor
9 Whitey Ford
10 Ann B. Davis
(see TELL ME for answers)

I watched the movie Door To Door last night. It was very manipulative, which made it the perfect holiday movie. It also had Kyra Sedgwick, which counts in it's favor.

Kyra Sedgwick, One Degree of Kevin Bacon.
Kyra, what an enchanting name. Would that be Lithuanian?
This post sucked, didn't it, but I am not deleting it.

The Reverend Horton Heat, coming soon to a town near you.

The Reverend Horton Heat, not just another pretty boy in a cowboy suit.

Pet names, both past and present, except for goldfish, which I kill at an alarming rate.

Lassie - a female mixed breed terrier, that I was allowed to name, but my first choice of Rin Tin Tin was over-ruled.
Buzzard - a homicidal parakeet
Cecilia - the earth mother of all guppies
Bentley aka Benny - a dog for the ages
Chello, Gaby, and Keetsie - the current parakeets, that mock me.

Monday, December 16, 2002

I had some of the 99 cent chili at Burger King today. Not bad, not bad at all. I'll give it 3 jumping burgers out of a possible five.

I just heard the worst Christmas song of all time, We Three Kings as sung by 70's punk icon Patti Smith. Christmas has never been so maudlin.

Patti Smith, hardly the Virgin Mary, but that's not a bad thing, is it?

Hey, wait a minute. I thought Wil Wheaton was killed in Vietnam, or have I just gotten my cross-generational child stars mixed up ... again?

Wil Wheaton, then and now, or not.

Someone emailed me this yesterday. It was, I guess, written by the person who banned me from their site.

The Boz Clause

Once upon a time, there was a XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX member who went by the name Boz. On Thanksgiving Day of all days, Boz decided it would be fun to initiate an arguement with the administrator. The admin wasted no time telling Boz where to stick it. Boz couldn't handle a taste of his own medicine. Rather than handle the situation in an adult manner, he stormed into the message board and deleted every single post he ever submitted. Because there was nothing written in the rules stating that he couldn't do it, he thought that he would get away with it.

The meaning of the Boz Clause is quite simple. Just because an activity or behaviour hasn't been forbidden in the rules, doesn't mean your membership won't be terminated. It only means that nobody has been dumb enough to do it, yet. Rest assured if you intentionally set out to disrupt the flow of our forums in any way, you will be banned from every, single website owned by the admin, both currently and in the future.

Like most things that start out "once upon a time" the story that followed was a complete fairy tale.
However, my name was spelled correctly, and I did get a clause named after me. What more could I ask for? I can feel my ego inflating as I speak. Life is sweet. I AM BOZ!!!!!!

Don't worry, it was only a dream. Everything will be fine in the morning. Goodnight, Goodnight everybody. Drive carefully. Stop at all railroad crossings. Honk if you're horny. Shoot first and ask questions later. Go ask Alice, I think she'll know. Et Tu Brute? Zoom, zoom, zoom.

Jail Babes the dating service for that little bit of Prison Guard/Inmate/Shower Scene fetishist in all of us.

That Saucy Aussie, Russell Crowe, is set to marry longtime girlfriend, former childstar, Danielle Spencer.

Danielle Spencer, Dee from 70's sitcom What's Happening.

Sunday, December 15, 2002

This shirt is so tight it hurts. Wait a second, it isn't a shirt, it's a straitjacket. I mean that in a metaphysical sense, I think.

The French developed a gas mask in World War One that you had to urinate on to activiate. France, the whoopie cushion of the community of man.

Andy Richter has his own television show! What happened, was Jose Melis out of town? (Jose Melis was the bandleader for the Jack Paar incarnation of the Tonight Show, and why am I explaining my jokes, ok, so-called jokes.)

Both Elvis Presley and Lenny Bruce (see previous posts) died on the toilet, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that famous people have to go to the bathroom just like the rest of us.

Lenny Bruce, was he a two-ply or a four-ply man?

Saturday, December 14, 2002

I recieved the gift from Kevynn, the purveyor of Fat Free Milk, that we agreed upon as part of our "Exchange Things We Already Have, and Want to Get Rid of, Instead of Polluting the World With More Useless Christmas Gifts, That We Probably Don't Want or Need in the First Place" program. I recieved two CD's. The first CD was the hauntingly beautiful, hardcore techno, ultraviolenceKILLING GOD. The second CD was THE LENNY BRUCE ORIGINALS VOLUME 2. (Who knew Lenny was so original that he needed two volumes?)
I will be reviewing the aforementioned CD's sometime tonight, or by tomorrow at the latest, honest.

ultraviolenceKILLING GOD - Johnny Violent
I'm not a fan of techno, it sounds like elevator music on speed. This CD is neither good nor bad, it is just there. Maybe if I had some glowsticks, a pair of Doc Martens, and a hit of XTC I would get it, but I don't, well I do have the Doc Martens, but I still don't get it, but that's ok, because, really, I am supposed to get it? One piece of advice, don't listen to this CD if you are feeling mildly suicidal and there is a razor blade nearby, it can only come to no good.

I can't really give you a review of this CD because I fell asleep while listening to it. Quite frankly it is dated. What he was talking about back in the early 60's, though avant garde at the time, would scarecly raise an eyebrow today. Lenny Bruce at his best was social commentary and not stand up comedy, and it should be viewed as such. He was not in the same class as Newhart, Winters, Sahl, Berman, Cosby, or any other of a long list of hip young stand-up comedians of the time, but no one pushed the envelope like he did, and that is how he should be remembered. 'nuff said.

The movie that explores the depravity of one man's sexual perversion.

Ed Wood's production of Glen or Glenda.

Life's seamy underbelly exposed. If you only see one movie this year make it Glen or Glenda It could happen in your town. It could happen to you!!!!!!
Glen or Glenda an Ed Wood production in glorious black and white.

Friday, December 13, 2002

Hugh Hefner looking almost life-like in a press conference introducing a new Playboy product line, adult diapers for the incontinent swinger. (product picture and description not available at press time)
Mused Hef, "Hey, I'm wearing them now, and I hardly feel damp at all."

Hef, adding new meaning to the term wetdreams.

Name That Celebrity ?????

No, it isn't one of the Gabor sisters. It isn't Ivanna Trump's grandmother.
It's, it's, it's, it's ....... (see Tell Me)

My most poignant Christmas moment would have to be when I was in prison and a group of girls from an exclusive private school came up to entertain us. There wasn't a dry eye in the house when this blonde girl sang I'll Be Home For Christmas. Wait a second, that was an episode of Facts of Life I saw on Nick at Nite.

That Blonde Girl, and I could have sworn I was in prison.

Good thing Paula Poundstone (see post below) is a woman, because she would make an extremely ugly man.

I've had enough alt country for tonight. Gonna shimmy on down into second gear and go to bed, hit the rack, slide into the oven, bake some cookies, strangle some sheep, and hope I don't die before morning.

"Fired more often than a Philly Blunt." My attempt at a hip drug reference. (See Shannen Doherty post below.)

Oh-oh, Friday the 13th is on a Friday this month. That would make Saturday the 14th then, wouldn't it.
I can only actually remember one Friday the 13th. I had spinal surgery on Friday the 13th of August 1999. I lived, but I can't do this anymore .... damn!!!!!

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Paula Poundstone to get her kids back.

Paula Poundstone, just another soccer mom in a Fedora.

I promised my niece that I would burn her a few CD's so I should probably get to that. Or maybe I'll just take another shot of Nyquil, and see what Elvis has to say.

Elvis in his underwear©, reality or Nyquil induced hallucination?

Elvis in his underwear©, at least he isn't bending over.
Elvis in his underwear© used with the expressed written consent of the Estate of Elvis Presley.

Which would be considered the bigger insult, being called an asswipe or a buttmunch? Just curious.

I think I have been sleeping for the last day and a half. I took a shot of Nyquil and after that I don't remember anything, except for a chance meeting with Donovan and Dylan, Bob, not Thomas. You should see what Robitussin does to me.

Today is my father's birthday. RIP pop.

Just one shot of Nyquil, honest. If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. I can see the colors, the real colors, saffron, magenta, crimson, prussian blue. Hello Mr Donovan, I'd like you to meet Mr Dylan, Bob, not Thomas.

Wednesday, December 11, 2002

Bad girl Shannen Doherty.

Shannen Doherty, it's not nice being evil. She's been fired more often than a Philly Blunt.

I have a bad case of heartburn tonight, which I guess is better than a bad case of assburn, but not by much.
That's it. My hypochondria has taken over for the night. The thrill is gone. Don't wait up. Stop and smell the napalm. Put your right foot in. Give till it hurts. Buy bonds. Don't forget to boogie. Emmanual Kant was an old pissant. The larch ... the larch. The larch ... the larch. And now for something completely different. The larch ... the larch.

No fooling I think my tongue is starting to swell, ahhhh screw it, I'm going to bed.

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

I don't believe I have ever seen Tori Amos (see post below) looking so goth-like, but then again, until about a month ago I thought Tori Amos was Tori Spelling. Have you ever seen the two of them together?

I had to change my header pic because, being the ass that I am, I hotlinked the original pic instead of saving it to my harddrive, and the site that I hotlinked from has gone down. Oh, the humanity.

Rejoice, Rejoice.
Site's back up, got my pic back. Ahhhhhh, I think I'll download it later, and just hotlink it for now. Damn, I love to push the envelope, it makes me feel so Johnny Deppish.

I wish I liked Tori Amos, then I could justify posting more pics of her. Justification, ha, I don't need no stinkin' justification.

Tori Amos, she's not my stinkin' icon, and why is she saying these terrible things about me, and how many times can I say stinkin' before it becomes annoying?

Paula Cole, we share the same last name, but that's about all we share, but I do like Where Have All the Cowboys Gone, and yes I know it is dipped in sarcasm, ok, I know when she dipped it, she lost her grip and it drowned, and maybe that is why I like it.

Paula Cole, doesn't really like cowboys, but I bet she never met Roy Rogers.

Monday, December 09, 2002

Call me Ishmael - Melville
She stuck her hands in her back pockets, Bette Davis style - Dylan, Bob, not Thomas
Eat a lot of peaches, and try to find Jesus on your own - Prine
It was a dark and stormy night, suddenly a shot rang out - Snoopy
Call me boz, and paint me stupid - boz

Paul McCartney's second wife, Heather Mills.

Heather Mills
I'm sure she is a hit on all the fetish sites.

I think I have all of my xmas shopping done, now all I have to do is find a few gifts for myself. If I don't buy anything for myself it will just be another underwear and socks xmas, and how boring is that.

One of my tattoos.

I'm a little bit yin, I'm a little bit yang. I still like it, and it keeps me focused. Focused, where the hell did that come from? I'm going to bed before I kill again.

One of my tattoos.

I'm a little bit yin, I'm a little bit yang. I still like it, and it keeps me focused. Focused, where the hell did that come from? I'm going to bed before I kill again.