My goal is to make everyone feel like they have walked in on the middle of the movie.
I thought you were supposed to get shorter as you aged. They took my vital stats at the doctors yesterday and I am now 75 inches tall. That would make me 6ft 3in tall, wouldn't it? Not freakishly tall, by any stretch, get it stretch, and all these years I have been telling people that I am 6ft 2in. Explain that, if you can, Mr Peabody.
I have been reading Sullivan's online diary today and he mentioned a site called Losers dot Org sounds like something I would be interested in, or in, or the CEO of,
I was going to rent some movies for the weekend but the karma or something just wasn't right.
What is wrong with this picture?
Ok, let's try another Celebrity Boob Thing, but I'm not going to make a big deal out of it.
Back in the day Blondie was a very sexy young piece in a Betty Boop-ish sort of way.
Rene Russo, a very handsome and 40ish woman who happens to be outside in her underwear.
I did a Google image search for the word sexy, and after 40 pages this is the best I came up with.
Highlights of my doctor appointment.
Will the madness never end?
Need to hit the CD bin and find some music to fit my mood.
Celebrity Boobs has become too easy, so it will be suspended until I want to do it again.
I kind of like Avril Lavigne. I woke up about 5am one day last week and they were playing one of her videos on MTV, granted I had the sound turned off, so I don't know what she was singing about, but I think she pulled off the tube socks as arm warmers trick very nicely, and believe me it isn't easy, I've tried. That is Avril Lavigne who wears the tube socks on her arms, isn't it? If it isn't the bitch sucks, unless of course she is under 18 years old, and if that's the case, this post doesn't exist.
Retro?
I need a nap. I need sleep. I need to rest my ass, in more ways than one.
The Legend of Billie Jean a true cinematic classic.
Who is Fred Durst, and is there any reason why his opinion about anything should matter one whit to me, and why would anyone admit to having the last name of Durst, isn't Fred bad enough?
No offense, but ....
Ok, I admit it, I have never heard a Lisa Loeb song, but I have to admit I find her very geeky/sexy with the glasses thing and all.
It's the truth, it's actual, everything is satis-factual, and we have the first winner in our Celebrity Boobs, Retro Division, not to be Confused with Rut-roh Division contest.
Heather, over at ChezPink has been making some pretty funny posts lately, or as she might put it, sum foik-ing helarryus post-its, sorry, I suck when I try to sound like a 20 year old, anyway, give her a look see. I don't understand half of what she says, which is about par for the course, for me, anyways, and I only drool on days that end in y, but seriously, I forgot ... oh yeah, give her a look see.
A little retro celebrity boobage for this edition of
You know the drill by now, so let's just get it over with ...
I want to thank everyone for the kind words they gave me following my brief
The link to Superfluous Tube Socks has been removed, may it RIP,
Kevynn and I have started another joint venture.
I am now on to my next half-assed project that I most likely will never see through to fruition.
I just woke up from one of those naps where you always feel worse after you take it than before you took it, and my back is stiff, and my mind is foggy, and I just surfed all the usual blogs, and none of them entertained me, even though all the commenting systems are back up, so what gives people?
Annual physical tomorrow,
Don't forget,Wednesday March 5th is Kevynn Malone Day in the United States, Canada, and most of the free world.
Yeah, sure, whatever, we already have a winner in the Famous, or Even Remotely Famous Boob Contest,
Huh, what, huh.
It's getting close to that time again, isn't it. Oh, you know what time I mean.
Yeah, sure, whatever ...
Like I told you earlier 442 Glenwood Avenue has been rocking my cranium all day long, but I have a cure for that. I just rummaged through my voluminous cache of CD's and pulled out a real plum.
My kind of computer geek. My kind of computer geek. My kind of computer geek.
Ok, so you all angst ridden young boppers curl up in the fetal position and chill to The Pixies. But let me tell you something, you don't know angst till you've curled up and chilled to
This is really weird. Up till today the most unique visitors I have had in one day has been 100, but today, only 10 hours into the day, I already have 154 visitors. I keep getting listed in the Fresh Blogs on the blogger home page, even though I haven't updated in 8 hours or so.
It is 4:11 am and I am awake, after about an hour of sleep. What the fuck is my problem? I mean, I like to sleep, it has always been one of my favorite pastimes, I mean there used to be a time when I could take a nap that would last maybe an hour to an hour and a half, and that was just a nap, arghhh, this is gibberish, big deal, maybe my fingers will get tired, and then I can get some sleep.
I was all set to do another Celebrity Boob post when I ran across this pic.
Part Deux:
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, it is almost time for the next installment of
Check out my new Graffiti Board. You know you want too.
This is the Dynamite Diva, she writes a lot of words, many of them funny. Go, and prove to me that you can read.
I see London, I see France ...
Differences between men and women, #238.
I don't usually give props, (props!!! is boz going ghetto???) to professional, or pseudo-professional, or neo-professional, or demi-professional, or even quasi-professional sites, but I kind of like this one.
Wow, they've got Paczki's on sale at the supermarket 4/$1.99. Excuse me while I go sate my Paczki jones.
I have an urge to go to the beach, and I don't care how cold it is.
Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean I don't know that blogspot is screwing with my mind.
Today is Monday and the start of The Great Grand Ennui/Fat Free Milk Archive Exchange
I have to start fasting at midnight, big blood test tomorrow, thyroid and all, I have one, but it doesn't work, at all, period, zilch, nada, dry as a bone, dead thyroid.
I really didn't want to do this tonight, but if I don't Art Garfunkel gets to come over and kick my ass. So I guess it is Sunday night with Simon and Garfunkel, like it or not.
Oooh, ooh, ooh, The Professional with Jean Reno and Natalie Portman is just about to start on Bravo.
The hottest girl in my 10th grade class was Diana Teal, and baby she was hot. I don't know, maybe it was her peaches and cream complexion, or her soft brown hair, or her deep blue eyes, or the one extra button she always kept undone on her starched white blouse, or maybe it was the way the sunlight twinkled across her braces when she smiled. It didn't really matter, like I said she was hot, and she knew it. She was an office aide, and I remember the time she walked into my Biology class and my lab partner, Paul Heideloff, saw her and said "Yowza" in a voice so loud that even Mr. DiStefano, our teacher, with his bad rug and all, had to laugh, but Diana didn't blush, she didn't even break stride, at the most she might have let the florescent lights play across her braces as she gave a little half smile at the realization of the power she held over a bunch fifteen year old walking, talking hard-ons.
It isn't fair, it just isn't fair.
Listen,
It is comforting to know that I am finally starting to get a higher class of search engine hit.
People and things I remember for no particular reason.
If I were a French I would probably be a petty thief, like Jean-Paul Belmondo in Breathless. Do you see the connection? Jean Seberg, Jean-Paul Belmondo, who by the way, must be one of the ugliest men on god's green earth, ok, next to that Gerard Depardeau, and I will be damned if I am going to look up the correct spelling of G.D.'s name, and what is it with these French and their ugly men, I mean Charles DeGaulle wasn't exactly an Adonis either, ummm let me think a minute
Oh man, I wish Jean Seberg would have lived next door to me growing up.
I woke up early Saturday morning and got hooked on one of those low rent Pirahnna movies on TNT, Pirahnna 2 or 3 or infinity, not sure which, not important though, the important thing is that Alexandra Paul was the female lead. You might remember her from Baywatch, the early years, as the tall skinny lifeguard with no tits, which would have made a nice contrast to Pamela Anderson, wouldn't it. Anyway, let's have a look at ...
The wind is howling tonight.
We have a winner in the latest edition of the Great American Celebrity Boob Hunt
I got a search hit from an Australian/New Zealand search engine looking for
A buddy and I were once accused by Canadian border guards of trying to smuggle boots into Canada.
Near death experiences.
What 'ya say, anybody ready for another round of Boobs, Celebrity Style.
She was a winner
And who said women couldn't be friends?
One last post before midnight?
I'm being ultra-70's hip tonight.
I need a shower.
Here it is 3pm and I am already yawning like a giddy school girl,
It ain't me babe
I just upgraded my zonkboard to uber zonkboard so that Kevynn could swear on it. Only seven bucks for a year, and if I smoked, which I don't that would be two packs of cigarettes, which in the days when I did smoke wouldn't even last me a day, so a year for seven bucks isn't bad, and I just rationalized the upgrade in a couple of easy steps.
I'm goofing off on cam right now. Pierced nipple pic, both tattoo pics, grinning and mugging, shucking and jiving, tossing and turning, reeling and rocking, bitching and moaning, cussing and swearing, et al.
If you had to pick either RATSY, the woman who isn't maya Angelou, or Winona Ryder to go to the senior prom with, who would you choose? If the women who isn't maya angelou was dressed in her underwear I would probably choose her, but if I wanted someone to rifle through the coat room looking for Versace scarves, dvd players and spare change I would choose Winona Ryder, but if I wanted someone to do the duck walk and party hearty with I would definitely pick Singer Superstar Songstress RATSY.
You know her, you love her it's ...
Who is this woman, and why is she taking off her underwear?
I am way too easy, easy like Sunday morning, on a Thursday night. We already have a winner in the Boob contest. mayamaya is the lucky winner. It looks like I am going to have to get medieval on you people in the hint department, yes? no? huh? what? huh?
Hey kids, what time is it??
I have a confession to make. I am sexually attracted to women in their 40's with dirty blonde hair,
I have a bad case of heartburn, which is better than a good case of assburn, I guess, so I am going back to bed for awhile till my generic Zantac 75 takes care of my non generic heartburn, then I have to get out and do something, cause we are going through a February thaw with temps in the low 40's and I hate to waste this kind of break in the winter weather, so I will do something, even if something is just going out to listen to the trees, ok, so the trees don't talk, but they do bark, and didn't I use that joke (joke?) a week or so ago, the heartburn has rendered me senseless and clueless, and probably feckless too, so I am going back to bed .. baby?
Repost of an earlier post concerning Shalom (sighhhhhhhhh) Harlow and her lack of curves, reposted with a new pic, because the last pic went red x.
Damn, is it Thursday already? I am just Thursdaying my life away, one Thursday at a time. Has there ever been a song written about Thursday? I think the rest of the days of the week have their song. I should check on that, and I should trim my toenails too, but I'm not going to do either tonight. Monday, Monday, Ruby Tuesday, I'll have to think about Wednesday for a bit, Friday On My Mind, Another Saturday Night, Sunday Will Never Be the Same, ok, Wednesday Morning 3 AM, see I was right, there are no Thursday songs, and don't argue with me, ok, just let me be right this one time, ok, and don't raise your voice, ok, and throw another shrimp on the barbie, ok, and call me, don't be afraid you can call me, maybe it's late, but just call me, call me and I'll be around, ok.
Here it is straight up. Sullivan from Last Day of My Life linked to me yesterday. I looked around his journal/diary/blog whatever, not getting into it very much, I knew he said something about being a homeless guy, I didn't know if he was jerking around or if he really was homeless, and I left it that.
Cool beans, a few more people have linked to The Grand Ennui, check them out in my link list Ms. Thang.
It is Bettie Page night at The Grand Ennui. Time for a little bondage, a little boudoir and a whole lot of Bettie.
We have a winner in the last Celebrity Boob contest. It is Diane Lane, the Golden Globe winner for the movie Unfaithful.
Kevynn and I are undertaking another joint endeavor, hopefully this will be more successful than our last joint endeavor. Kevynn and I will be scouring each others archives looking for our seven favorite posts. Then on either Sunday or Monday of next week, we will be posting one a day for seven days, and as usual after going over what I just wrote I am not too sure what we are going to do either, so you shouldn't feel left out in your confusion.
Btw ...
My next big project will be to do an in depth study of the movie Girl Interrupted by in depth study I mean post a lot of pics, and no, Whoopi Goldberg, another woman who I have never had sexual thoughts about, will not be included.
About time, but the only problem is I don't have anything to post now. I am frustrated, out of words, out of site, get it site, and not sight, and slowly going out of my mind, and who recorded that song "going out of my head over you" it was probably someone who was posting on blogger, or somebody else. I am typing frantically, so many things, ch'yeah, right, so little time, and did anyone catch my flash of #117 earlier today?
My back hurts. I am all Motrined and Ben-Gayed up, and who knew, not that it makes any difference, and lucky I found that Ben-Gay last night, so don't expect much from me, as if you ever did, go Wings go, 2 pucks to zero pucks after two.
I will be guest posting on The Sinister Sister tonight, and this weekend I will be hosting Saturday Night Live, on Sunday I will be a panelist on Meet The Press, I'll be with Oprah on Tuesday, and my new book Not Just for Breakfast Anymore will be in bookstores the first week in March.
I heard a joke on the Fox News Channel's Morning Show today, and by the way, aren't the three people who host that show about the three dimmest bulbs in the fixture, anyway here is the joke, and I paraphrase, because I can't emulate the sound of the female anchor's gum cracking sounds.
Computer Tip #154
The east coast has 2 feet of snow, big deal. As I look out my window I see at least ..... hmmmmm, it must be at least an inch of snow, but it's an inch of Michigan snow, and Michigan snow is a special breed of snow, and it is a special breed of snow, because I live in Michigan and I have to shovel it. Two feet of snow on the east coast, big deal, I don't have to shovel it, so deal with it you effete pansies.
I can't believe all the saps that are still with HaloScan, it's been three days, and it's not like it is the first time, if your significant other treated you like HaloScan treated you, you'd be gone in sixty seconds ...
I feel like such a Nancy Boy. Like I told you the other day, at least I think I told you, that because of the cold dry weather my hands are turning into velcro. The dryness got to me tonight so I hunted around the cabinets for some kind of lotion. There wasn't a big selection, it was either Ben-Gay, and who knew, not that it makes any difference, or Generic Vitamin E Skin Lotion. The Vitamin E is helping some, but I smell like Irma La Douce on a Saturday night.
Ok lucy, are you happy now?
The Shalom Harlow pic I won't post in here, because I run a clean blog, no porn, no full frontal, no nips, only pokies, no shoes, no shirt, no service. Tell me about skinny now, why don't you, but she is Canadian, and god bless our neighbors to the north even though they spell it neighbours, I think the superfluous u is left over from colonial days when Britain imposed a u tax, not unlike the stamp tax and tea tax here in the states, that led to our War for Independence, but Canada was too busy perfecting hockey and curling to notice, and my train of thought has just left the station, so I guess I will just end it here. I'm coming Shalom darling, and I didn't mean that in the biblical sense.
I need a break, my head is spinning from all the love I feel in here. Do you feel it too? Don't forget, I'm not just a brain, I am also a sex object, and I deserve to be treated as such. There must be a hockey game or something on now, or something.
Since HaloScan has been so goofy lately a lot of people are looking for new comment systems. Here is a url where I found my current one, it also has a number of other systems. Check it out, if you must.
Time for the lastest intallment of Name The Celebrity Boobs, and since today is Monday we are going to throw in Name That Celebrity Belly Button at no extra cost to you the viewer.
I think I'd like to marry Shalom Harlow in my next life.
I'm sitting here on Yahoo Messenger waiting for action, but the action she don't come, and if you haven't noticed I am typing wit a cajoon accent, bruddah, and this post isn't going anywhere, is it, and I bet you noticed that before I did, and you have already stopped reading and returned to surfing for porn, but I am sort of getting on a roll, so don't mind me, I think I'll make like a thousand monkeys and see if I can come up with something even slightly resembling ... anyone, resembling ..... anyone, resembling .... anyone, slightly resembling ..........
Connie, over at Chubby Momma's is having a Name That Celebrity Bulge contest. Should I feel flattered or ripped-off? Damn, I knew I should have went the copyright route. I feel so violated. Anyway, mosey on over and have a look see.
It's Psychedelic Sunday at the Boz Pit, anyone with love beads gets in for half price, and anyone named Sunshine, with a driver's license to prove it, gets in free. Tonight's opening acts will be the local bands, Fuzzy Apricots, Electrical Band-ayd, and Luv Station, and tonights featured act all the way from San Francisco California, The Toad Messengers. Tickets $2.50 in advance and $3.00 at the door. It's gonna be a happenin' ... baby's!
Here's the BOBAGE that Kevynn wanted.
How about another game of Guess the Celebrity Boobs?
They've got microwave ovens on sale at Kmart for $39.00, too bad I don't need one. Mine is one of the prototypes from back in the 70's and about the size of an AMC Pacer.
Stop me before I tweak again!!!!
Another day, another doughnut. Doink, Boink, Bink, Bam, I'm at a loss of words, and at a loss for ideas, but who cares, I like to take up space ... ace! Man, my hands are so rough from this cold dry weather it feels like I am wearing velcro gloves, and that's the truth. Did someone just burp. or was it just a blip on the radar screen of my so-called life, and even though Claire Danes was jailbait on that show I wouldn't have minded punching her mother's ticket. Hell, I even know who played her mother. It was Bess Armstrong, the all american girl, baby.
There has been a mass exodus from HaloScan, if you call two a mass. Both Billy and I have installed new commenting systems.
I just got the sickest search request imaginable, and I have had some pretty sick ones. The absolute sickest search request I have ever gotten, and I am positive I will ever get was a request for kevynn nude. How about it kevynn?
I like the Celebrity Boob Contests so I will probably be doing more of them, and if any of my readers would care to submit their boobs we could have a Name the Blogger's Boobs Contest, that could be fun. I am already slavering in anticipation.
There is a new blogger out there named Lola, slide on by and give her a glance, what can it hurt.
Geez, I'm glad Valentine's Day is over and not because the holiday sucks, even though it does, but because now I won't have to read all your whiny blog posts for another year. Valentine's Day is actually kind of fun if you are a bargain hunter, ok, make that cheap.
Kind or weird and a little embarrassed to admit it, but I just woke up from a nightmare and I'm kind of afraid to go back to sleep, so I guess I'll just hang out here for a while, with the light on, and watch the Snoop Doggy Dog infomercial for Girls Gone Wild. I haven't the slightest idea what the dream was about, but it messed with my mind, and no lucy, there was no Nyquil, or any other OTC drug, maybe just a little too much diet Coke, or something. Jeepers, talk about getting your hackles raised.
Well, I'll probably dream about Snow White tonight, I think she was always my favorite Disney Babe, at least in the animated category, of course as a five year old sitting in front of the old 17 inch Muntz, no one could beat Mickey Mouse Club's Karen Pendleton.
I hope Claire Danes never gets nuclear weapons because I think she'd use them.
Don't tell anyone but if you click on the You talkin' to me on my comments page you will be thrilled, amazed and totally taken aback, totally, dude.
Today is my lucky day. I just found two Hershey kisses left over from xmas. Let's hope I'm still lucky after I eat them.
Holy Nuclear Warheads Batman, I was just blog surfing and ran across a blog, that shall remain nameless, nameless because I didn't bookmark it and I can't remember the name of it, hence remaining nameless would be the logical choice, anyway, I checked out the link section, because I am always looking for interesting new blogs to read, and this dufus, dufus being a neutral noun, had their blog links categorized by how often he frequented, doh, you got me there it's a guy, but probably a wussy guy. He turned it into a friggin' popularity contest.
A good number of people have made nice comments about my new layout, ok, about 6 or 7 people, but when you are me, and you aren't really used to nice, 6 or 7 is a good number of people. Anyway, I just used one of the pretty basic templates that was created by HalfWayGully, and designed for Blogger use, followed their directions, and ran with it.
Time for another game of Name That Celebrity Boob.
Sitting here in front of the computer pretending that I am making a contribution to internet life in general is not getting the bird cage cleaned. The same bird cage that I promised myself that I would clean yesterday, and if I am going to be honest with myself, the day before that and the day before that, and quite possibly the day before that. It's still early, so I have time.
Happy Valentine's Day to all my babes out there, who secretly adore me, but are afraid to admit it, and I don't blame you, because if I adored me, I'd be afraid to admit to it too, but there ya go, buy yourself a box of chocolates, and a nice card, rent yourself a chick flick, charge it all to my account, break out your vibrating boz, and knock yourself out, for myself I'm going back to bed. Take care, beware, life's not fair, but you shouldn't care, baby!
Songs my mother used to sing me, Chapter One.
Still listening to 80's music. Ya know, leg warmers were very sexy, and that Pat Benetar, what a minx, and I'd pay to watch Cyndi Lauper She-Bop. The 80's, when Michael Jackson sang about Billie Jean, instead of sleeping with Billy and Gene ... doink.
A name change and an update to Trailer Trash Grils, and more of those tacky, whacky search engine queries.
I feel like Jar Jar Binks today, wait a minute I got that wrong, I look like Jar Jar Binks today, and I think I probably smell like him too, and ya know I don't even like Star Wars, but still I know who Jar Jar Binks is, and shouldn't that be wrong, terribly wrong. I was going to make a sexual comment about Jar Jar's masculinity or virginity, or one of his -inity's, but I think it is time I dragged this blog out of the smut hole it has been wallowing in for the past month or so. Better let me think that one over ...
Netscape, the place where I store my pics has been up and down all day, but you get 20 megs for free, so I deal with their outages, but it drives me insane when my pics don't load!!!!!
Should I lose red shirt guy and get a new title graphic?
The little bozzy that could.
So what if I didn't shave tonight. I'll do it in the morning. I'm too busy rocking to the 80's, where's that little dweeb Martha Quinn when you need her, as if she was ever needed.
Holy Geez, Bananarama was even more 80's than Madonna.
I'm playing my five disc 80's CD compilation and guess what song is playing? It's Turning Japanese.
My recipe for Potato Chip Sando's has been posted on Cooking For Losers. You might want to check it out.
Sort of half-assed working on a new template. I don't know if I will ever use it, but it keeps me out of the infamous opium dens of North East Michigan.
