Friday, October 31, 2003

Something, something, wry and humorous about underpants and bunnies.



You people are so smart, you supply a caption.

I added a new feature to the Turkish bazaar to the right.
Tell Me A Lie
And it's just what it says, so go ahead and tell me a lie, or you could even tell me a truth, and just pretend it's a lie, the possibilities are endless.

Happy Ho-ho-holloween everyone.

My name is Boz, and I'm a cop.
That's the opening line for my novel.
At least until I change my mind, and I'm still wondering what possessed me to sign up, I mean 50,000 words is a lot of words, that's like more than a hundred words a day.
I don't know if I can do it. I mean really I don't, and that reminds me of an old joke ...

1st dude: I've just finished my first book.
2nd dude: Wow, that's great.
1st dude: Yeah, but I think I'm going to wait awhile before I start reading another one.

I wonder if I can delete that, or better yet, I can make it the plot of my novel.

My name is Boz, and I'm a cop, and I just finished my first novel.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Back in the mid 60's the state of Michigan and the Canadian province of Ontario entered into one of those international agreements.
It was decreed that all residents of Ontario must like the music of Bob Segar, while all residents of Michigan must like the music of Gordon Lightfoot.
A sort of fair trade agreement.
As a young naive teenager at the time I didn't want to risk jail time or cause an international incident so I toed the line, and I must say after awhile I learned to appreciate the music of G. Lightfoot, and I don't mean that crap he came out with in the 70's, I'm referring to the Golden Age of Lightfoot, songs like Early Morning Rain, The Canadian Railroad Trilogy, That's What You Get For Loving Me and Did She Mention My Name and my favorite, or should I say favourite
Go-Go Round
I mean what horny 16 year old boy from Detroit wouldn't fall for the lonely little go-go girl in love with someone who didn't care???

I know, I know, I'm an artist.
Dun ... dun ... dun ...



A pumpkin artist.

It's going to take me a long time to get over myself after reading
this.

Guess the predominant font in the right hand column and win a prize, but no fair doing the right click, view source trick.

Man, sometimes I even crack up my own sweet self.

This test is so totally a rip-off

strongbad
You are StrongBad. You hate everyone, especially
HomeStar. Your e-mails and prank calls are
hilarious. You're my favorite character. You
try to be evil, but sorry, being shirtless with
boxing gloves just isn't scary. Don't worry
what everyone else thinks because hey, they are
all "crap for brains".


What HomeStarRunner Character are you? (pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

It's all bullshit, here is the truth!

Strong Bad took this test and it came out ...



You are BozBad. You rule your own little universe. You are cool, and strong, and devilishly handsome in a very manly sort of way. Everybody either loves or fears you, but what else is new. Now go take a nap, you're getting on my nerves ... baby.

What BozStarRunner Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is a pic that dvl sent me.



It isn't her, but it could be, if she were blond and lying, or is that laying on the beach naked, covered with sand, and by the look on her face probably thinking about me or at least the effect of gamma rays on man in the moon marigolds.

I hope you people realize that this is just another part of my master plan to take over the blogging universe one blog at a time, and then you'll all have to refer to me as
Emperor Boz, oh yeah, and they'll be an underpants tithe.

It's a quarter after two in the morning, and I have once again brought peace and tranquility to the blogging world as we know it.
My work here is done for another day, so I'm going to bed where I will think kind thoughts about ...

tits, thighs, chicks, sex, sex, sex, sex
hot kinky sweaty sex
hot kinky sweaty unconventional sex


Good night all, and may god, or the deity of you choice, bless you.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Sorry, but the site was down for some unknown reasons.
But here you go ...

1. The Awards
2. Your Personalized Bozzie and leave a comment.
3. Generic Bozzie for those who for some reason didn't apply.
4. Create a Bozzie for Boz, you know I deserve one.

I have decided to post the Bozzies at 8PM EST tonight. Remember, these are not your typical award type awards. There will be no Best Political Blog or Funniest Blog or anything along those lines. These are the Bozzies so expect them to be rambling and on the verge of being incoherent, but I must add that they make sense to me, and your Bozzie might even make sense to you.
There are 26 Bozzies because 26 people requested them. If you did not request a Bozzie you will not be getting a Bozzie, and I don't want to hear any bitching and moaning about where's my Bozzie. You had ample time, and plenty of reminders, so blah, blah, blah.
Finally, I will be in my chat room immediately following the postings in case you want to celebrate, question, or just rip me a new one.
I think that's all I have to say.

Everything is completely finished with the Bozzies and I am considering posting them earlier than next Sunday night.
Talk to me people, let me know how you really feel, because you know ...
I do this all for you.

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I 3> her panties.



I really do.

The reports of the torrid affair between Nada 0 Nil and myself are completely untrue. She means nothing to me. Get it, do you huh, huh, do you!

A lot of you have been mewling about a certain actor named Bruce Campbell and I must say I had never heard of him, but my interest being piqued, and don't you just hate when that happens, I checked out his website, and lo and behold, and shiver me timbers, and paint me boz and call me stupid ...
I've been a fan of GOB (Good Old Bruce) from the time he was Briscoe County Junior back in the early days of the Fox Network.
I just didn't know his name, because I hate to put labels on things.
It just goes to show you, doesn't it.

This is strange. It's almost 1 PM and I haven't just gotten out of bed. I mean I've been up and even out and about for, oh I dunno, at least two hours.
I hope this isn't a trend.

Oh man, my back hurts today, and I'm not blaming you people just because I was hunched over the computer for most of the night working on the Bozzies, because I enjoy doing for you people, I honestly do.
I'll take two tylenol and call you in the morning.
Hey, I'm not kidding, my back really hurts.
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, see.
And I couldn't type owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, unless it actually hurt, now could I.
Yeah, you wish I'd call you in the morning.

I am typing this while asleep, so don't expect anything along the lines of basso profundo, and ...
Wait, that didn't make any sense, let me start over.
Dear Diary,
The kids at school make fun of me because of the size of my head, I mean my clothes, I mean my political beliefs, yeah, that's it, they hate me because I'm a libertarian.
Nah ....
I hate the world, death to all you bastards
Unh-uh
My boyfriend is a jerk, how could he do this to me just a week before my birthday
Nope
I dunno, I've got nothing here
Guten Abend

Monday, October 27, 2003

What I do for you people. I've spent the whole night working on the Bozzies, and I ask for nothing in return.
Ok, how about if I ask for sainthood.
St. Boz the Magnanimous.
I'd look great on the dashboard of your car, even better than your plastic jesus.

I've finished about half of the Bozzie's, and I think they are pretty mild, but I'm going to ask everybody to sign a waiver dismissing me from any liability, you know how it is, lawyers, lawyers, lawyers, and really it is in your own best interest too ... honest.
Good night all my little bozzaholics, pleasant dreamsies.

Oh yeah, if I post anymore of those quizzes please feel free to give me a lobotomy.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

I copped this from Sullivan, but I don't know where he copped it from, and he's not saying.

snoopy

YOU'RE SNOOPY!!! fearless though cautious, you can
be pretty quiet and can catch the attention of
anyone with your intelligence and
imagination...you've got multiple
personalities.



What Peanuts Gang Character Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Can you spot the subliminal message in this pic.



She has nice feet too, but that's more a fetish than a subliminal thing.

I think that I've set all the clocks and watches back, except for the one in my car, and speaking of cars ...



This is the watch Ford sent me when I bought my Focus three years ago, too bad the car didn't run as good as the watch does, I dumped that lemon a year and a half ago, the car, not the watch, and if you are still reading this post you can stop now.
On second thought, it seems like the only thing I did today was set clocks and watches, and sleep, and drink diet coke, and, oh yeah, I put up some shelves in the garage, and did I mention sleep, oh, and I walked at the gym today too, and I wore my new Red Wings shorts and I think everyone was jealous because they all stared at me, and not the usual "what a weirdo" stare that I usually get, but a "gee, nice shorts you've got there weirdo" kind of stare.
The End

So, I made it down to Bay City yesterday, but I didn't see the Rollers, or Madonna's birthplace, and no, I didn't see the Mall either, but I did make it to Meijer's and I ended up spending the whole afternoon there getting bargains and stuff. All their sports apparel was 50% off so I got a pair of Detroit Red Wings and a pair of U of M athletic shorts. They also had 50% off the lowest clearance price of all their reduced clothing, so I was able to pick up a couple of shirts for next summer for like two bucks apiece, and I did some other stuff too, but I'm bored with this post because there isn't any mention of nipples, thighs, sex, or necrophilia.

I kind of have the puppy dog eyes look going.
I think that was taken on Thanksgiving, and I think I was about 27.



And I think I'm glad I cropped the floods out of the pic.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

She looks like the guy we used to pants in 8th grade gym class.



Wait a second, I was the guy we used to pants in 8th grade gym class.

I think I'm going to Bay City today. They've got a mall, and I haven't been in one of them in about ten years, and when did Sears drop the Roebuck from it's name.
Wish me luck my luck my little dill pickles. Details at eleven.

I think this might be worth watching. The french don't do comedy very well, but ... it's 1:30 in the morning and I can't afford to laugh anyway.

Friday, October 24, 2003

I've started working on the Bozzie's so you people better be nice, because I am already in a foul mood because of certain comments about my new blog layout, and you can interpret foul as sarcastic.

My Thursday Theven Answers
One - Your second favorite pizza topping. Bacon

Two - What body part, that isn't attatched to you, makes you the wettest. Nipple

Three - What group would you like to have an orgy with. The entire Osmond family, except for Jimmy

Four - Coffee, tea, or me. Me

Five - What was the last song you couldn't get out of your head. Sheena's In A Goth Band, by the Cramps, and it's all Malone's fault

Thix - If you could get away with murder, who would you kill. Don't flatter yourself, you'd be way down the list

Theven - Punky Brewster or Salvador Dali. They are the same person, so it really doesn't matter

A couple of scary looking dudes.
Hey, forget Re-run.
Both Jack Elam, and Road Warrior Hawk have died.
Man, it must suck to be a celebrity nowadays, and it must suck even more to be a dead celebrity.

Jack Elam



Road Warrior Hawk



Thursday, October 23, 2003

Does something look different?

Cool, The Creature From The Black Lagoon is on TCM. My sister took me to my first Saturday matinee to see this when I was four years old. She took me, then abandoned me to my own devices while she and her girl friend went and stalked thirteen year old boys, and I still hate jujubes.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just felt like you had a sign on your forehead that reads Kill Me?



Nah, you probably haven't.

Paul wrote: I have never read a poem with Starsky and Hutch in it.

You must have missed my poetry retrospective The Poetry of TV Crime Fighters of the 70's
featuring ...
Leave me Alone Barnaby Jones.
I'll never forgetta that dude called Baretta
Jump back Kojak
and my Peabody Award winning epic ...
When you hang with McCloud, there's no crying allowed.

Thursday Theven
One - Your second favorite pizza topping.
Two - What body part, that isn't attatched to you, makes you the wettest.
Three - What group would you like to have an orgy with.
Four - Coffee, tea, or me.
Five - What was the last song you couldn't get out of your head.
Thix - If you could get away with murder, who would you kill.
Theven - Punky Brewster or Salvador Dali.

I need to write a poem.
To help me keep my sanity.
Some kind of bodacious tome.
Bereft of fucking inanities.

I don't like to write too much.
It's just a waste of time.
I'd rather watch Starskey and Hutch.
Instead of stretching for a rhyme.

This is getting nowhere fast.
This is getting out of hand.
Something something kiss my ass
Something something ain't life grand.

- a poem by boz 2003-

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

I am a Gemini.
(Also known as "Twins")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" Eternally childish - both intellectually and emotionally, a Gemini simply refuses to grow up, and will often mooch of off someone until old age. " (Read more | Find yours)

I think I over did it walking today.
My thighs are so sore I'd cut my legs off if I could be absolutely positive that they'd grow back.

I think I might have screwed up the interview I was doing for Online Diaries. It's been over a week and I haven't gotten the second set of questions yet. Do you think it may have been something I said!
You tell me ...

Question: So. What's the main point of "The Grand Ennui"?

Answer: It’s part of the community service agreement my lawyers worked out in lieu of jail time in that internet stalking case from a couple years back. I also have to teach the elderly to dance, whether they like it or not.

Have you ever heard of the great american treasure known as song-poems?
Download some here.
I think my favorite is Beatle Boys, and ain't that the truth.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Registration for the Bozzie's has now officially ended, but if you have a note from your:

a. parents
b. psychiatrist
c. parole officer
or
d. whoopie goldberg

you are still eligible.
I spelled psychiatrist correctly without using spellcheck, mine would be so proud of me.

Tonight's not to miss movie Jennifer Jason Leigh:
Heart of Midnight (1988)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
753 MYSTERY: Tuesday, October 21 11:35 PM
1988, R, *1/2, 01:30, Color, English, United States,

A young woman (Jennifer Jason Leigh) inherits her uncle's kinky nightclub and meets a stranger (Peter Coyote) she thinks is a policeman.

I've highlighted all the key words for you, and ohhhh, if I was only Peter Coyote, even if it was for just one movie.

Check out the MP3 from his upcoming CD my son Cow Boris has uploaded to his site, it's funkaliciously grÓÒvy.

I'm going out. Which jacket should I wear. The black one with the fleece lining, the white Detroit Piston one, or the grey windbreaker with the pizza stains on it.

Who is this strange young man whose blog I just stumbled upon from a link on Tap Dancing Is My Life.
If I wasn't so tired I'd leave a comment or give him a link, or maybe adopt him, or send him jelly beans at Easter, or tell him about the time I met Elvis at the Burger King in Kalamazoo.
Red, Sonny, boys, make sure you super size my Double Whopper with cheese combo meal, and don't forget the extra pickles, and buy that pretty little waitress a Cadillac.
Better yet, I'll just go back to bed and pretend none of this ever happened.
Ok, so Burger King doesn't have waitresses, but you really didn't expect Elvis to know that did you. I mean he led a very sheltered life, what with Red, Sonny, and the boys catering to his every need.

Monday, October 20, 2003

I had a weird dream last night, or this morning, take your pick.
I dreamed that I had married a Greek girl and we were in Greece to meet her parents.
I had believed that they were peasants, but it turned out they were very upscale. The mother was a Greek version of Zsa Zsa Gabor, and the father looked very Americanish and did magic tricks to entertain the children.
We had to sleep in the family room, and who knew they had family rooms in Greece, and all I could think about was where was the bathroom ...
And then I woke up.
Tell me please, what does it all mean!
PS - I enjoyed the Greek part and the girl part, I am very fond of both, hidden meaning hidden meaning, but the marriage part has me extremely troubled.

I posted a couple of old fall color pics on my photo blog.

Ok, all you slackers. You have till 8:00 PM EDT Tuesday, October 21, 2003 to sign up for your Bozzie, and yes, I did say your Bozzie, because everybody deserves a Bozzie, even you, and when I say you, you know who I mean.

I'm leaving for Alpena, if anyone wants to tag along you have a half hour to get ready, and then I'm out of here.

Which one of the 100 Lies do you think is closest to the truth.
I put a lot of time into this and I want FEEDBACK people FEEDBACK,
And if I don't get FEEDBACK people FEEDBACK there may be a sack full of
Bozzies that end up on the bottom of Lake Huron right next to the Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald, and yeah I know the Edmund Fitzgerald sank in Lake Superior, and if you make me drive to the Upper Peninsula ...
Nevermind

Sunday, October 19, 2003

Taking the 100 Things list just a step further.

100 Lies About Me

Ghost:

This is rather spooky. It took me about 10 to 15 seconds to see
What they mean ....
Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing images and hearing voices for quite a while. They did some research and found that a lady once lived in the house who lost her husband during the civil war. Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the fields in anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So, they say she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her. This one was Wild and a little spooky once you find the ghost in the picture. It took me a few seconds to find it, but when you do it just stands out. Like one of those optical illusions. To save you some time, Concentrate around the table . Best not to focus too much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window. Click on the link below For the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added touch turn up the volume, it's faint but you can hear the ghost talking sometimes in a low murmur....
Now click the link below:
ghost house

Saturday, October 18, 2003

It's 12:30 in the afternoon. I just got up for the third time a half hour ago. It is raining, and my body is sore from the incredibly stupid one mile jog I did yesterday. I think I'll take a couple of tylenol, fire up the walkman, and I guess they call it a walkman for a reason, and hit the gym, and do the walking thing for about an hour, and I know, don't ask me how, but I just know, I will be tempted to break out into a jog at least once or twice.

Aw shoot, if I were any more stiff I'd be catatonic, make that a gin and tonic, and hold the tonic, and hold your horses, and they shoot horses, don't they, aw shoot.
I feel so validated when a post comes full circle ... jerk.
I just love masturbation humor.
Can anyone spare some tissue.
(invisible snickers)

I found this on site that I've never visited, after I visited a site that I often visit, and isn't that always the way.

boz

is a Giant Dragon that is Sensitive to Noise and Easily Confused, moves at Great Speed, projects a Purple Forcefield, and has a Toughened Steel Skeleton.

Strength: 9 Agility: 11 Intelligence: 5



To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat boz, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights boz using


I feel so Ghidorah-esque. Look out Tokyo, here I come.

I am watching the hauntingly strange Dark City on TNT. I've see it before, so I guess I'm seeing it again.
I like the 50's, the night, and the weird, that must be why I like this cinematic epic.
I think I'll finish watching it in bed.
If you don't mind.

Friday Night Art Appreciation



Friday, October 17, 2003

The Bozzie List
Dvl, Zann, Rosa, Kevynn, Cheeks, AtlSuper*, Bunty, Marci, Pam, Troll, Shanti, HotDamn, Don Labia, Cow Boris, Paul, ChezPink, Gwen, Cacoa, Melissa, Fuzzy... AntiChrist, The Hard Artist, and Kat.

Those not on the list have until Monday to sign up.

Check out the new Mood Indicator I just stumbled across,
and it's free too.

Ok, I just got back from the track, and I either did something incredibly cool or incredibly stupid.
I jogged a mile. Ok, I didn't do the whole mile at one time. I would walk 7 or 8 laps and then I would jog a couple laps, but in the end it came out to 16 laps of jogging which on our track is just a little over a mile.
I mean, I haven't jogged, ran, or moved at a rapid pace since Demi Moore had real tits.
Anyway, just call me Roger Bannister, or an ambulance, I'll let you know in the morning.

To the mysterious poster on my zonkboard.
You aren't as mysterious as you think you are.
I wonder what would happen if I sent an email to
abuse@sheridanc.on.ca?
Your move.

OrgName: Sheridan College
OrgID: SHERID
Address: 1430 Trafalgar Road
City: Oakville
StateProv: ON
PostalCode: L6H2L1
Country: CA
NetRange: 142.55.0.0 - 142.55.255.255
CIDR: 142.55.0.0/16
NetName: SHERIDANNET
NetHandle: NET-142-55-0-0-1
Parent: NET-142-0-0-0-0
NetType: Direct Assignment
NameServer: NS1.SHERIDANC.ON.CA
NameServer: NS2.SHERIDANC.ON.CA
Comment:
RegDate: 1991-05-13
Updated: 2002-12-30
TechHandle: ZS151-ARIN
TechName: Sheridan College Information Technology
TechPhone: 1-905-845-9430
TechEmail: abuse@sheridanc.on.ca

I should probably do something.
I'm open for suggestions.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

I will be watching this movie in 23 minutes.

Bingo Robbers (2000)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 CBET: Friday, October 17 12:05 AM
2000, NR, **1/2, 01:24, Color, English, Canada,

A woman (Lois Brown) who thinks money will solve her problems enlists the help of a homeless friend (Barry Newhook) to rob a bingo hall.

You have until Monday to sign up for a Bozzie.
They will be uproariously funny yet poignant at the same time, which is something only I can accomplish, so be there or be ... somewhere else, I guess.

One of my many phobias is an aversion to driving on the expressway.
It's been like six or seven years since I have driven on I-75, that was until today.
I drove from Mile Marker 188 to Mile Marker 212, and I didn't sweet, and I didn't shake, and I didn't get a tightness in my throat, and I didn't feel like I had to puke.
So stick that in your ditty bag and stroke it.

Hi everybody, I just got home and I saw the strangest thing while I was out.
Either a group of gypsies or a group of Travellers were holding a wake at the Ponderosa Steak House. Lucky for me they were going out when I was going in, because I didn't need aluminum siding or a roofing job.

I think if I ever get another job I'd like to be a greeter at Wal-mart. What a power trip. You get to decide who gets a cart and who doesn't, life doesn't get much sweeter than that, at least from where I'm standing.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Cleanliness is next to bozliness.



And I wish my bozliness was next to her cleanliness.

Welp, I've finished the answers to the first set of questions for the interview I am doing with Online Diaries. At first I tried to be all serious and scholarly, I mean I even wrote the answers with my pants on. Ok, the pants were around my ankles, but I know a little bit about the letter of the law, and they were technically on.
I should go check and see if the Cubs have blown it yet, they were leading 5-3 when I got bored and turned it off, nah, baseball sucks.
I think I'll just have a misshapen Clark Bar instead.

If I were a tele-evangelist I would condemn her as a harlot.



Back, back, you evil wench, begone with your smoking, begone with your latex, begone with your painted and manipulated features.
Off, off, off to a nunnery.

Dear Abby,
I swear sometimes I am still the same 13 year old kid with bad skin and a bad haircut that I was so many years ago.
Let me 'splain.
I use the walking track at the gym, and I am a fast walker, not a power walker, I would never flail my arms around like some spastic special olympian, I'm just a fast walker, but anyway, being that I walk fast I'm always lapping other walkers, and this is where I bring in the part about being the gawky 13 year old ...
Whenever I pass a female walker, no matter what her age, her build, her race, or her religious affiliation I go into uber geek mode.
My nose starts running.
One of my shoelaces comes untied.
A piece of tape magically appears around the nose piece of my glasses.
And a zit the size and likeness of Mount Rushmore flares up on the end of my nose.
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
I mean it happens every time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is WHY ME !!!
Signed
Boz the Internet Icon

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Things are getting curiouser and curiouser in Blogarittaville.
First I get a zonkboard entry from a Maya69Malixi.
I did my research and Maya69Malixi is either a new virulent strain of Anthrax or a college student from Ontario, Canada. I can't narrow it down any closer than that.
Then ...
I get an email from a Naughty Kat Girl , who I am not sure, but I wouldn' bet against her having some sort of multiple personality disorder, either that or I'm suffering from some sort of multiple lack of personality disorder.
Sugar, sugar, I need sugar.
The end.

If you can read this your overeducated, but only if you don't understand English.

I'm going visit Malone's site, be back in a minute ...
I've been in voice chat a couple of times with Malone. He talks real fast when he isn't confused, and his voice is a little squeaky, ok, not squeaky, but I little high pitched, ok, not high pitched, but with an odd sing song timbre to it, and I bet if he would have auditioned for a roll in the The Goonies he would have at least gotten a call back.
Malone speaks.

Monday, October 13, 2003

I am going to be interviewed in Online Diaries.
Online Diaries is a Yahoo Group with a little over 400 members that is owned, or moderated, or ruled with an iron hand, or something by Sullivan.
The interview will be conducted by Cuddles.
And I know that all of you are jealous, but I'll try not to notice, I'm good that way.

Here are the 20 people who have signed up for Bozzies.
Dvl, zann, rosa, Malone, Cheeks, AtlSuper*, Bunty, Marci, Pam, troll, Shanti, HotDamn, Don Labia, Cow Boris, Paul, ChezPink, Gwen, Cacoa, Melissa, and Fuzzy.
You still have time to blah blah blah, and I don't want to hear any pissing and moaning the day after about how you wanted a bozzie soooo bad blah blah blah.
Oh yeah, and one more thing, blah blah blah.

I've been doing a little bit of work on the Bozzie's tonight, and here is the prototype of this year's award.



Am I (fill in the blank) or what!
By the way, all you slackers who have yet to sign up for a Bozzie, you still have time to sign up, but as I have said so often in the past ...
If you want a Bozzie you'll get a Bozzie, but if you want a Bozzie you'll have to ask for a Bozzie.
I can't make it any simpler than that, well, yeah, I probably could, but I'd have to talk in caveman talk to do it.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

I didn't get out of bed to stay until 1:40 PM today, and then I took an hour nap this evening.
voice of my conscience: Then you masturbated.
No I didn't.
voice of my conscience: Yes you did
No I didn't.
voice of my conscience: Yes you did
No I didn't.
voice of my conscience: Yes you did
No I didn't.
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed our little Sunday night melodrama, and as always the voice of my conscience was played by Frank Sinatra.

Ok, all my peu de pickles à l'aneth, you are running out of time to sign up for les récompenses semi annuelles de Bozzie de seconde. Sign-ups will be closed in another week or two, and I am seriously considering moving the ceremony to November 2nd, because October 31st is a Friday night in addition to being Halloween.

What, A Quiz
1. What breed of dog are you - basset hound, no make that a beagle.
2. What music genre are you - alternative country, with a touch of punk mixed with a dab of blues and a great big dollop of folk, folk, folk.
3. What junk food are you - curley fries.
4. What country are you - Japan by way of Canada.
5. What women's problem are you - menopause.
6. What assassin are you - disappointed office seeker Charles Guiteau.
7. What cartoon character are you - Popeye, the early years.
8. What war are you - The Spanish-American War.
9. What sexual act are you - a blow job with a thumb up the ass.
10. What excuse are you - the dog ate my homework.

Saturday, October 11, 2003

New fall color pics posted on my photo blog.

Today is National Coming Out Day, and if I were gay, which I'm not, NTTAWWI, I'd be so far back in the closet that I'd be wearing last years Chuck Taylor's, but that's just me.

Who doesn't love windchimes.
Who doesn't love skulls.



Who doesn't love skullchimes.

Friday, October 10, 2003

Looks like there may be an interesting movie on the Sundance channel tonight. They're showing a documentary on Shane McGowan the lead singer of the Pogues. Should I be excited, and please, share your favorite Pogues story with me. No, really, I mean it.
Actually, the first I ever heard of the Pogues was when Spike, was that her name, the slightly chunky unwed mother with the crazy hair from DeGrassi Jr High, and her new boyfriend, well a friend who was a boy, and could have ended up being a boyfriend, but I really don't remember how that turned out, and I'm pretty sure the Pogues are better than Zit Remedy, but I could be wrong ...
And I'm lost here
Ok, the first I heard of the Pogues is when Spike and her boyfried were talking about seeing them in concert, or something like that.

216 lbs, 16 to go



Does this bring to mind chiseled granite.

Kat signed my guestbook,
Kat signed my guestbook,
Kat signed my guestbook,
Kat signed my guestbook,
Sorry, I was just having a Steve Martin as The Jerk moment.
And did you know that Steve Martin had carnal knowledge of Karen Carpenter, and I don't know who should be more appalled by that, Steve Martin fans, Karen Carpenter fans, or Darwinian evolutionists, and wasn't Richard Carpenter's hair just like spun gold.

What's happening in other blogs
The non-link back version.

1. Malone is trying to get people to write his posts ... again.
2. Rosa Posa is on a slumber party retreat amidst fears of lesbian undertones.
3. AtlSuper* is attempting to become the native american answer to Martha Stewart.
4. ChezPink has this lowrider thing going that is driving everyone to distraction.
5. Paranoid.Android is still gay and proud of it.
6. Shanti just dropped her science and, well, and nothing.
7. HotDamn Doyle is in Atlanta for a couple weeks doing the wedding thing, not his, and you'd know not to ask that if you knew his track record with the ladies.
8. Cacoa is rattling around about something, her posts are way too long for me to read, so I just nod and look concerned.
9. Cheeks is in the middle of something, but since I usually read his blog after Cacoa's my mind is still in a fog so I don't really know what he's in the middle of.
10. Sullivan added a commenting system to his blog, and is still homeless, and if his comments on my site are any indication he seems to be in a contrary mood.
11. Diva and Lingus are well on their way to becoming the Beavis and Butthead of Blogtown
12. Whitey's got a gun, got a gun, got a gun, Whitey's got a gun, got a gun.
13. Fuzzy's got Whitey, and apparently plans on keeping him.

Oh man, something just happened and Blogger ate the rest of my post, fucking blogger, and believe me the last 31 observations were a shitload funnier than the first 13.
No, really it did, either that or my dog ate my homework, or the dingos ate my baby, or I realized that it was 2 in the morning and I still had 31 more entries, and I think I just got amnesia, so, I'll just post what I have and go to bed, I mean the emergency room, and see if they can figure out who I am.
The end.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Ok, we have three more Bozzie participants in the form of Chez Pink, The Diva, and Cacoa.
Furthermore, if I had a dollar for every time someone gave me one of these, I'd have a bunch of dollars.



Um, I was distracted, where was I.
Nevermind, I think I'll just get a Pepsi.

It has been reported that Kalifornia newspapers are a little perplexed at what to call the new governor.
Governor Schwarzenegger takes up too much type space, and Arnold sounds too informal.
When asked to comment Schwarzenegger said that Der Über Fuhrer would be acceptable.

It's been a while since we've, and when I say we've, I mean I've, had a song of the week.
Just replace Otis with Boz and you have the story of my life, and when did I start capitalizing the B in boz.

I have been offered a proposition by Desiree aka dvl. She said that if I could get down to 200 pounds by Xmas 2003 that she would buy me copious amounts of presents, and did I just say copious, and anyone else who wants to can also buy me copious amounts of presents, and did I just say copious again, and somehow that just sounds sexual in nature, and if you've ever seen Des you'll know there's nothing wrong with that.
In other news ...
ChezPink, my adopted daughter for incestuous purposes only, has signed up for a Bozzie.
Who'll be the next in line?
Who'll be the next in line for heartache?
Who'll make the same mistakes I made over you?
And for 10 Bonus Boz Points, who sang the song Who'll Be The Next In Line.

This is for all the femmes in the Peanut Gallery.
I am listening to the song I Kissed A Girl by Jill Sobule.



So, have you?

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

I bought this for Malone so he'll have something to bite.

Would you buy a used Bozzie from this man.



Updated Bozzie list ...
Desiree, Zann, Rosa, Malone, Cheeks, ATLSuper*, Bunty, Marci, Pam, Troll, Shanti, HotDamn, Don Labia, Cow Boris, and Paul.
Why isn't your name on this list, and oh, I think you know who you are.

Dear Kalifornia,
What's next ...
Kristallnacht,
The Night of the Long Knives
The Reichstag Capital Building burns down
or
Schwarzenegger Youth ???

Back before my hypo-thyroidism was diagnosed one of the symptoms was memory loss.
I would do things like get up to get a drink of water and before I had taken five steps I had forgotten what I had gotten up to do.
Another of my favorite pastimes was forgetting the names of familiar objects. I remember, oh yeah, now I remember, I wanted someone to turn down the sound on the television, and I couldn't remember what a television was called, and I ended up calling it that thing with the pictures coming out of it.
Too bad I can't forget this post, but heck I'm trying to type while listening to the Rolling Stones on my ...
Brand New Mp3 Player
or what I used to call
the thing that is small and sound comes out of.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Ok, here are the people who have signed up for the Bozzie's so far.
Desiree, Zann, Rosa, Malone, Cheeks, ATLSuper ...*, Bunty, Marci, Pam, Troll, and Shanti.
Where are the rest of you.
Don't make me beg you, oh I'd do it quick enough, but just don't make me do it, and of course, just like last year, Wil Wheaton, who I think is really Jerry Mathers, is not eligible.

Me, rocking to my new MP3 player.



Barry Manilow is a rock and roll animal.

Yeah, for me.
My new MP3 player just arrived, and I already know how to operate it, sort of.

New Feature
You can now add your favorite readable blogs to a new link list that I have just added directly under my links.
Here is what it looks like:




They Want a Bozzie
1. Rosa Posa
2. AtlSuper ...*
3. Fat Free Vinegar Douche
4. Cheeks
5. Zann
More, more, I must have more.
And you may well ask ...
What Are The Bozzie's,
Well, just change the date and time and This Are The Bozzie's, at least This Was What The Bozzie's Were for the First Annual Bozzie Awards.
So, um, yeah, sign up ...
Or the puppy dies.


The Ten Crappiest Blog Titles I Have Heard In Awhile
1. The Anal Blog
2. Douche for Truth
3. Don't Piss on My Parade
4. Fat Free Milk of Magnesia
5. Holy Fuckin' Shit, It's My Shitty Fuckin' Blog
6. Fellatio Australian Style: Going Down, Down Under
7. Cocks, Cunts, and Christ and a Six Pack To Go
8. The Funny Nazi
9. Wet Dreams are Made of This
10. Have You Been Eating Fritos Again

Ok, the stupid I want a Bozzie sign-up link isn't working for shit, so if you want a Bozzie just leave a comment, or post on the zonkboard, or send me an email or catch me on IM.
So far I know of three people who want a Bozzie.
Rosa Posa
Atl Super ... *
and
Fat Free Malone.
People, you haven't experienced true bliss until you've won a Bozzie.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Why Hello Kitty!!!



Just a little gratuitous hoochie, and I mean that in a nice way.

Gay (NTTAWI), Or Merely In Touch With His Feminine Side
1. Tom Cruise
2. The 3 guys from Friends
3. Fred Durst
4. Alan Alda
5. Keanu Reeves
6. Jimmy Fallon
7. Martin Short
8. Elijah Wood
9. Quentin Tarrentino
10 Rocky the Flying Squirrel
11. Jason Alexander
12. Arnold Schwarzenegger, wait, he's Nazi, or merely in touch with his fascist side
13. Moe Howard
14. Jughead Jones
15. Friggles the Clown

Went out to the country today and bought some
Orphan Pumpkins



Orphan pumpkins are the ones off to the side, out of view from the more expensive legitimate $5, $4, and $3 pumpkins.
Orphan pumpkins are the mis-shapen ones, or the scarred ones, or the still green ones, or the stemless ones, or as I like to call them, well, I like to call them orphan pumpkins, but I also like to call them pumpkins with character, yeah that, and I also like to call them pumpkins that only cost fifty cents each, and I also call them pumpkins that I only paid a dollar for all four of them because there was nobody there and all they had was a money jar, and except for a dollar bill the smallest bill I had was a twenty, ok, a ten, ok, I had a five, and like they'll ever know the difference, and like they'd care even less.
Sigh, I love Orphan pumpkins, they are so boz-like.

I found my old Friggles The Clown comic strip.
Check it out, or make your own.
It's boz at his funniest.

Yeah, I know it's 2 in the morning, but maybe someone out there needs me to update.
I mean there are a lot of lonely and desperate people out there, and what if ..
What if, I am the person who prevents someone from:
1. Committing suicide.
2. Eating another serving of Ramen Noodles.
3. Masturbating to the video of Madonna kissing Britney Spears and that Christina girl whose last name I can't spell.
4. Ordering a Girls Gone Wild video.
5. Baking a canned ham and some jalepeno cornbread.
6. Tuning in the Game Show Network and marveling at the size of Chuck Woolery's head.
7. Glancing at their dog as if to say, I'm game if you are.
8. Contemplating cheese.
9. I can't think of a #9, so I'll go straight to #10.
10. Writing a poem about the love their father never gave them.
Yeah, what if.

You need a picture, don't you.



If I had known a woman who looked like her my acne probably would have cleared up a lot sooner.

I am so proud of myself.
After spending hundreds, no thousands, of dollars this past week, I managed not to spend any money today, of course I had to tape my eyes shut, but it's not like I haven't done that before, um, I think I just brain froze. End of post.

Sunday, October 05, 2003

Hey, look at me, I'm going to write a novel.



Unless, I forget about it before the 1st of November.

The final results for the
What do you like best about The Grand Ennui
poll.
The final results:
the posts 5 (6%)
the pics 30 (40%)
the comments 4 (5%)
the zonkboard 2 (2%)
the song of the week 4 (5%)
Annie the Bot 2 (2%)
the webcam 0 (0%)
Bozley's Angels 6 (8%)
Superfluous Tube Socks 3 (4%)
Boz !!! 19 (25%)


Thanks to all who participated. There will be a new poll shortly.

The Last Seven Songs I Have Listened To
Actually, it's the last seven songs I have downloaded from Kazaa Lite, but that's illegal and I'm pretty sure any number of you would turn me in if you knew the truth.
1. By This River - Brian Eno
2. Once Bitten Twice Shy - Ian Hunter
3. Cleveland Rocks - Ian Hunter
4. I Knew The Bride - Dave Edmunds
5. Jackson - Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood
6. Some Velvet Morning - Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood
7. I'm Not Like Everybody Else - The Kinks

Whatdaya think.
Now that the weather is getting cooler and the days are short and the nights are long, don't ya think it's time for ...
The Second Semi-Annual Bozzie Awards !!!
For you newbies who aren't familiar with The Bozzie's
check out the
First Semi-Annual Bozzie Awards
held last March.
The only requirement for a Bozzie is the desire to win a Bozzie.
So let me know if you are interested by leaving a comment or dropping me an email.
Everyone, even those without a blog, is eligible.
I'm so excited, I think I'm getting a chubbie.

Saturday, October 04, 2003

I changed my linkage around a bit. If I left you off the list, let me know and I will take care of it, because I didn't do it on purpose, honest, I didn't.

The following post is only a test, if it had been an actual post I would have never admitted that I am a bed wetting transvestite, because I am not a transvestite, I repeat, not a transvestite, and I am seriously working on the bed wetting part.

I love posting on the weekends mostly because people have actual lives and are busy, and I can post, without fear of retribution, that I am a bed wetting transvestite, and no one will be the wiser, and if they are the wiser they will be too embarrassed to admit that they have no life and hang around the house reading the blog of a bed wetting transvestite.

The preceding post was only a test, if it had been an actual post I would have never admitted that I am a bed wetting transvestite, because I am not a transvestite, I repeat, not a transvestite, and I am seriously working on the bed wetting part.

Things I Find Sexy
In no particular order.
1. Feet
2. Puffies
3. Belly Buttons
4. Dimpled lower backs
5. Very, very short hair
6. Ghost-like pallor
7. Toe rings
8. Braces
9. Dark make-up
10. Nose bondage
11. Dental gags
12. The Goth look
13. Ear lobes
14. Exposed mid-riffs
15. Women who dress like Olive Oyl.
16. And holy shit, I saw the last part of a movie this morning called
Crash
about a guy, the guy being the hauntingly beautiful strange James Spader, who just might give Christopher Walken a run for his money, as the biggest kamikaze actor of the new millennium, anyway it's about a guy who gets sexually aroused when he is involved in car crashes, and the recounting thereof. The movie also stars the thinner and older of the Arquette sisters that being Roseanna, and I wonder if either Roseanna or Patricia are jealous of their sister-in-law Courtney Cocks Cox.
But I digress ...
The end

Friday, October 03, 2003

A new batch of pics in my photo blog, but be careful, they could cause serious brain damage.

I'm not sure, but I think I bought this at about 2AM, and If I did buy it, I didn't pay that much for it, and the one I might have bought is black and not silver, or even white, and I'm not sure, but I think I'll like it.

I want to thank everybody for the overwhelming feedback to the
Boz Is Sick/Celebrity Guest Posts.
It is so very gratifying to know just how much you care.
I would also like to thank the Celebrity Guest Posters, especially the dead ones, for taking time from their busy celebrity lifestyles to help me in my time of need,
and Gort, you are out of this world, and you can
Klattu my barada nikto anytime, you big lug.

Check out the new shelf on the top of my monitor that I got from the $ Store.



Now I have room for even more stuff, and we all know that stuff is the most important thing in life, or at least we should know it.

I should write a song. I mean I know I could do it.
I could write about man's inhumanity to man, or about alienation, yeah, alienation is always good, or I could write about social injustice, I could be the male Tracy Chapman, yeah, I could totally get down with that, um, totally, or maybe a song about love lost/love found/ love lost, people really love ahhh love songs.
Holy geez, there are so many worthy subjects to write about.
War, love, hate, injustice, alienation, inhumanity, women with big boobs.
The possibilities are endless, they really are.

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
Hi, I'm not a celebrity or anything but I am boz's
dream fantasy fetish girl ... sort of.



Tiffany Anne Marie Kimberly Johnson
but ya doesn't have to call me Johnson ...

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
Boz! Klaatu barada nikto!
Gort

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
Boz, Larry, cheese, boz, Larry, cheese, boz, Larry, cheese.
Curly Howard.

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
"Bozzies? We ain't got no bozzies. We don't need no bozzies. I don't have to show you any stinking bozzies!"
Humphrey Bogart

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
Boz, you magnificent bastard, I read your blog.
George C. Scott

Boz isn't feeling well today, so throughout the day various celebrity friends of his will be making guest posts in his stead.
- Ken -
----------------------
You want the truth about boz? You can't handle the truth about boz.
Jack Nicholson

I just found out that I've been linked at another new site, not new in the new sense, but new in the sense that it is new to me,
with the ever so mellifluous title of flowers eat shit.
At first glance I thought it was a blog written by a mildy unattractive woman, but who am I to judge, however on closer examination, and I don't mean in the gynecological sense, it turns out that the bloggist is just a gay guy, or to use his term queer as hell guy, who likes to dress in women's clothing.
Check out his name the cow contest for a chance to win a free dvd,
and my next post had better be filled with raging hetero hormones because I'm starting to detect a homosexual trend and stuff. NTTAWWI

Wednesday, October 01, 2003


Which Famous Homosexual are you?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Indifferent
You're an INDIFFERENT AIM-ER. Meh.


What kind of AIM-er are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

A wiser man than me, I believe it was Shemp Howard, once said that you can tell a lot about a person by the layout and the look of his blog.
In a brief departure from my blog credo of It's All About Me, what does your blog layout and look reveal about you, your follies, and your foibles.
Be brutally honest, and nude pics, as always, are encouraged.

Take a look at the weather dot com forecast for ET in the right column. It's 9PM and it is already down to 36 degrees, it doesn't get that cold in bizarro hell, and me sick, and hungry too.
Life sucks, rolls it around in it's mouth for awhile, and then spits.

The Pope Watch



I'm not dead yet!

This is interesting, or strange, or pathetic.
I've been linked by bloglinker (see right hand column) by the world famous
anti's boring blog from hell
but, and there's always a but, isn't there
the world famous, and now that I think about it maybe he isn't that famous after all
doesn't have bloglinker (see right hand column) on his webpage.
Oh, the vagaries of life.

Ya know, sometimes I feel like Leonardo Di Caprio just before he says I am the king of the world, but today isn't one of those days, and who the fuck does Leonardo Di Caprio think he is, and why is he saying those terrible things about me.

Ok, I'm taking applications.
Who will be George, Elaine, and Kramer to my Seinfeld.



Seinfeld, yeah, if only I had his haircut.

Scanner Art



If only DaVinci had a scanner who knows how famous he might have become!