Oh man, I am ripping the heart and soul out of Kazaa Lite tonight.
My Best Peter Lorre Voice: The tunes, oh Rick the tunes, so many tunes, I need to download them all.

For those of you who have been wondering, which would be none of you, how my back feels, I got out this afternoon and the walking around seemed to loosen it up some, and with the nice hot shower I just took, I am feeling pretty good, of course that could change once I try to stand up.

Jessica of paranoid.android has joined STS and started her membership off posting with a vengeance.

A hot new
SEX-X-X-X-X-Y, KINKY-Y-Y-Y-Y, FETISH-H-H-H-H-Y, PERVY-Y-Y-Y-Y
topic on STS.

Blog Titles I Rejected
1. It's An Action Figure, Not A Doll.
2. Close Cover Before Striking.
3. The Yin and Yang of This and That.
4. Purgatory, Not Just a Way of Life.
5. Phallic Cymbals.
6. Dude, Where's My Blog?
7. Boz Because.
8. My Dog Ate My Blog.
9. Catch-48730.
10. Up Against The Blog MuthaFucka.

I've made a few changes and additions to the right hand column of The Grand Ennui over the past week.
1. I changed The Rest of The Story pic to the pic of the Smilin' Bozzer.
(The Smilin' Bozzer, available in fine stores everywhere.)
2. I added a more or less permanent poll. You can vote as often as you like.
3. I added a Feedback link where you can send me a private comment. It's easier than email.
4. I added a Weather.Com forecast for my hometown, but it isn't an invitation to visit.

I had a real good weekend, so instead of going into the highlights of what happened, I'll just give you the lowlights.
Lowlights of My Weekend
A wheel fell off my lawnmower.
I hurt my back.

Katherine Hepburn died yesterday. Any guesses on when she'll stop shaking.

Check out 188 movies that were rated as 100% TOTAL LOSERS at ...
Rotten Tomatoes Dot Com

Song Of The Week
This weeks song is dedicated to me.

Oh Bozzy what a pity you don't understand
You take me by the heart
When you take me by the hand
Oh Bozzy you're so pretty
Can't you understand?
It's guys like you Bozzy
Oh what you do Bozzy
Do Bozzy
Don't break my heart Bozzy.

You can own an autographed 4 x 6 inch print of Smilin' Bozzer, just like the one shown here for the low, low price of only $2.00, including shipping and handling. Act now, supplies are limitless limited.
"Look ma, it's Smilin' Bozzer, and he looks so real"

It's almost time for Smilin' Bozzer to hit the road.



Smilin' Bozzer looking reet, neat, and oh so complete in his Jimmy Buffet shirt.
(Smilin' Bozzer is brought to you by those fine folks that bring you The Grand Ennui. The words Smilin' Bozzer™, and the Smilin' Bozzer™ likeness are property of The Grand Ennui™, and may be not be reprinted, or reproduced without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, or something.)

Bloglinker is down and it is causing me all kinds of problems.
Feel my pain.
Go ahead, feel my pain dammit!
I said feel my PAIN, not my ass, you sick pervo.
Ahhh, a little lower and to the right, oh yeah, that's perfect.

I found this
on Stacey's site.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll stick a needle in your eye.

Nordic Lesbian Ice Queens
are always nice.



And I am just assuming that they are lesbians, they might just be good friends who were lonely once on a Saturday night.

I like Suicide Girls, but it's a pay site, so why don't one of you join the site, download all the pics, and send them to me. While you're at it check to see if any of the girls are into older men, kinky sex, or just plain have a daddy fixation, or long walks on the beach at sunset.

The votes are in and they have been tallied, the winner of this month's Angel of The Month is rosa.
I figured I might as well get her out of the way, so I don't have to listen to her whining for another month about how she was screwed out of the last one.
Rosa's Acceptance Speech

well.. what can I say.. except that I am so very very flattered. who woulda thunk it a little girl from orstralia could make it this far.. this quickly. I mean im just here minding me own bizness, tending to my sheep... shooing away the dingoes from the nursery and then one day the town gets a "computer" I log on and presto.. instant fame!
There are a few people I must thank *getting out crumpled paper* firstly I must thank my mum for giving me two of the best assets I own, she along with my father have made me the truly bodacious babe that I am today. Id like to thank all my fans from around the world who visit my page most of them are just after carnie wilsons bits, but some of you do care.. and for that I thank you *halle berry open mouthed cry’
and finally... to Ken, Boz, Bozzley or whatever you know him by... the light of my life.. my soul mate.. my idol! not only are you a friend and a lover.. but you’re a fighter, you’re a joker, you’re a smoker, you’re a midnight talker.
You complete me.
(Rosa's views are her own and do not reflect the views of Ken, Boz, Bozley, The Grand Ennui, or whatever I am calling myself today)
Mo, blu, Stacey, dvl, Bunty, and cacoa all made very strong runs.
Remember, August is only a month away.
Oh yeah, Mo .... you came close, very very very close.

Stacey's bio has been added to her Bozley's Angels profile. If any other Angels would like to update their profile just drop me an email, and consider it done.
Mo has also sent in her bio and it has also been posted.
Bozley takes care of his Angels.

Rite-Aid's has 64 meg SanDisk Compact Flash on sale starting tomorrow for $29.99, with a $10.00 mail in rebate. I already have a 16 meg, an 8 meg, and a 4 meg, should I make the purchase.

It is taking a very long time for comments to upload. It is not my fault, and if it was you couldn't prove it, at least beyond a reasonable doubt.
Happy Saturday everyone from a wet and stormy NE Michigan.

A new rock and roll topic on STS, answering the musical question...
I'm sure they'd have a hell of a band, band, band.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DIVA

We have two new member's of Bozley's Angels, at least I think we do. Stacey is for sure, and I think Mo is, but she was very cryptic, but anyway, I am going to list both, and if they do want to be an Angel, all they need to do is send me a brief description of their character, and if they don't, I'll just give them the old alt-shift-delete.
Btw, they are both eligible for the July Angel of the month competition.

The July Angel of the Month winner will be announced on Sunday. If you believe you are qualified, let me know, and you will be considered, if not, I will just pick damn well who I please.

I had a dream about a blogger last night, ok this morning, ten bonus points if you can guess who it is.
What, you want clues. ok.
Blogger Dream Clues
1. It could be a he or a she.
2. He or she, might be on my link list.
3. It wasn't one of those dreams, but it had the makings of one, but I woke up before anything happened.
4. Probably the only way you'll get the correct answer is if you guess yourself.

Blog updates in less than ten words, written while I am falling asleep
Mo is sunburned
Rosa is a stalker
Kevynn is drunk or sober
Jess is still a lesbian, but a graduated one
Don Labia will die soon
Pam bought a lot of v-strings
Dynamite Diva is an Amazon.com whore
Cheeks chipped a tooth
Shanti chipped a car
ChezPink isn't going to Miami
Blu seems stressed
Cacoa is becoming nun-like
I am going to bed

Feel free to add any updates, or not.

Song Of The Week
This week's song is dedicated to our favorite star crossed blog crushers.
Cheeks
and
Shanti

The prodigal moderator has returned and masturbated posted all over STS.
Show him that you care.

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	boz
You will die on:	Tuesday, September 10, 2053
You will die of:	Shot By Jealous Husband
Username:
Created by Quill

Kids these days, and their crazy fads and fashions



I do like her shoes, though.

You people are boring me today. You're not posting. You're not commenting. You're not visiting STS. You're not singing my praises.
What the fuck good are you.
All of you can be replaced, you realize that don't you.
There are plenty of Aussies who'd swoon at the chance of me tying their kangaroo down. There are tons of single mothers who would melt at the mere mention of my name. There are legions of twenty year olds, both male and female, who would gladly sit at my feet as I impart the wisdom of the ages. Ok, so maybe there aren't a lot of vietnamese/irish, chainsmoking, beer drinking, superstar couldabeens out there, but Tom Waits is available.
So take that you ... you ...
Um, my train of thought kind of got derailed somewhere between Pittsburgh and Cleveland, but I think you get my drift.

Welp, I've already shaved, so all I have to do is put on my jeans, and a clean Jimmy Buffet shirt, and I'll be all set to hit the Burger King. I'll save a place for you, with a view of the bay.

I will be watching Julien Donkey-
Boy later tonight, starring the disturbingly beautiful Chloë Sevigny.



The disturbingly beautiful Chloë Sevigny.

I added four new smilies to my comments.

Check out my local weather at the bottom of the right hand column.
It's as hot as a MoFo today.

A new HOT TOPIC in STS.

Presenting a new feature ...
50 Things About My Family

The pic you've all been waiting for. Admit it, I know you have.



See, I may not have hair on my legs, but I do have body hair.
Sit back and admire.

For ten bonus points, and we all know how valuable bonus points are, give me the name of this actress or the role she is famous for, or relatively famous for.

Happy Birthday to my GayBoy lover, and I mean that in the least gay sort of way possible.



Happy Birthday Kevynn!
Your sweater is in the mail.

STS will live to fight another day thanks to the efforts of Bunty, Paul, and dvl.
They made a shitload of posts, excuse me a second I have something in my eye, no really I do, I tell you I'm not crying, it's just ... it's just ... it's just so overwhelming to see such support.
Who loves you babies?
Boz loves you babies!

I got a haircut today, and while sitting in the chair a customer with tourette's syndrome came in. He was pretty cool though. He must have been on medication because he pretty much had it under control. He did however, let out a "meep, meep, meep" every once in awhile, but the funny thing was whenever he did the "meep, meep, meep" thing the barber would start doing it too, I guess he must have had tourette's syndrome by proxy. This isn't the greatest post in the world, but it is the truth, except I don't think the barber had TSBP because I just made that up, but swear to god and bob's your uncle, he did mimic the tourette guys "meep, meep, meep." I guess I was lucky to escape the chair with both ears still intact.

Arlene took me by the hand she said cool me Bozzie, you're my man ...
Who do you love, I wanna know.
Who do you love, I need to know ...
Well-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l Yeah-h-h-h-h-h-h.
Bum, bum.

Check out Cheek's new pic on The Inside of My Head. He looks like Nurse Ratchett has just passed out the nightly meds.

Ok, here is the deal on my legs, but it is a two hankie story.
About thirteen years ago I was diagnosed as anemic, but they didn't know the cause. This was top of the line anemia, my bloodcount was at 8.9, where it should have been between 12 and 14, and if it had gotten any lower we were talking bone marrow transplant.
Anyone who has suffered from anemia knows that the further you get away from your heart the more pronounced the effects, meaning your extremities are the most effected. I had dry patchy skin, severe cramping and loss of all hair on both my arms and legs, and damn this post is even starting to make me cry.
Cut to the chase.
They found out what caused the anemia, and I am on medication for it. Everything is back to hunky dory except .....
the hair didn't grow back on my legs.
I feel such shame.
I want to thank everybody who taunted me from the bottom of my heart, and I am sure the heroin I shot up this morning was just a one time thing, and I am sure that the voice in my head that keeps chanting "girl legs, girl legs, girl legs" will go away ... eventually, at least that is what the other voice in my head, the one that is telling me to "kill all bloggers, kill all bloggers, kill all bloggers" has promised me.

The noted astrologer Dan Albia has linked to a very detailed astrology site. I am gemini. You decide if the description fits.
Aside to Dan Albia, keep Uranus to yourself.

New entry in my PHOTO BLOG

I could seriously fall in love with someone who had a tattoo like that, on a backside like that.



Don't hate me because I'm shallow, pity me because I'm [fill in the blank].

I have developed this rather unhealthy thing for British Soap Opera Bad Girl
Karen McDonald as played by Suranne Jones.



Coronation Street's resident badgirl Karen McDonald.
My thing for her is rather unhealthy, but by the look of them, her things are very healthy.

I've put up eight new blog links in the past two weeks, well actually seven, I deleted Coffee For One by mistake, honest to boz it was a mistake, and had to re add it. Check them out, they are all very good, as a matter of fact, check all my links out, and while I have you in such a good mood ...
send me money, lots of it.
Oh yeah, a special request here, go and check out paranoid-android she's the funniest lesbian this side of Ellen DeGeneres, and on her good days even funnier.
Hahaha, I just ran spell check and they suggested I replace DeGeneres with degeneracy. I didn't know spell check was white southern baptist!

Ok, here's the deal ...
If you don't start posting to STS I'm going to dump it. This is not an idle threat, you can trust me on this, I will do it, and do it with a smile on my face. You have been warned. Rufus Wainwright may be my gay inner man, But the hetero, macho, studlyo outer man is 100% Boz ... and I am BOZ, hear me roar and all that crapola.
You have 24 hours starting at 10:20 AM EDT Monday to post ten, no make that eleven, new comments, or else!!!

Who is your inner gay man?
I'm man enough to admit it, are you!



Congrats, you've got a little Rufus in you! Raised
on opera and his mother's show-biz sensibility,
Rufus is a master songwriter and performer.
Though prone to excess and moodiness, his off-
kilter sense of humor and fashion and his
radiant presence make him a joy to be around.
Don't be ashamed; if this still small voice
speaks up within you (with a bit of a slur and
a lisp), listen up! He could make you a star.

Who's your inner gay man?
brought to you by Quizilla

Actually, I'm more like his father Loudon Wainwright III.

I saw Jill Hennessy in a movie the other night. She played a lesbian.



I've always had a soft spot in my heart for girls, ok women, named Jill, and the whole lesbian thing ... that's a given.
And for ten bonus points, name the movie.

Dear rosa posa,
Payback is a bitch.



That's the kind of grin my dog used to get right before he'd bite me.

Hoorah, Hoorah, It's Anna that Punk Rawk Girlie's Birthday.






Happy Birthday Anna

For those easily offended ... it's not my problem.

Time for a new
Song Of The Week
And I am issuing a challenge. I challenge you to listen to this song and not sing along with it, or at least chair dance to it. A crisp new one dollar bill to anyone who can beat my challenge. Take your best shot, I'm not worried, because it's impossible ... baby.
Almost Grown
Do it, do it, do it, I dare yah!

Australian Slang Quiz
rosa posa sent me a book on Aussie slang. So I am going to give you a quiz to test your knowledge of Aussie slang. I'll give you the Aussie slang and you give me the English translation.
For example: alkie would be someone who drinks too much alcohol, of course Kevynn Malone would also be an acceptable answer.

The Quiz
1. Arvo
2. Bull's wool
3. Narked
4. Squiz
5. Tinny
6. Pong
7. Hoot
8. Cobber
9. Sort
10. Spine basher

Answers

No Australians were harmed in the making of this quiz.

Is the new boz says icon cool, or what!
I sometimes even amaze my own sweet self.

Recycled Grand Ennui
Here is a pic from a post I made last year, when nobody read me.
The Amazing Boz Clock
You may find this hard to believe, but my digital alarm clock spells out my name twice a day.
The Amazing Boz Clock
That's clock with an L.

My cable bill is $85.00 a month, can anyone top that. Of course that includes the basic 78 channels, cable modem, and eight digital movie channels and about 40 digital music stations on one of the television sets.

I'm going to watchThe Brandon Teena Story on the Sundance Channel in a half hour.
I <3 The Sundance Channel and The Independant Film Channel.

Check out the upcoming June birthdays in the Grand Ennui scroll at the top of the page. If you or anyone you know has a birthday coming up, just let me know and I will scroll it for you ... baby!!!
Oh yeah, I hope these dates are right, if not, so sad, too bad, either that or you can just let me know and I can change them.
Turn and face the strange ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

Remember that sitcom about the football coach who had a bunch of daughters, that was a spin off of the show that starred Alan Thicke, and Joanna Kerns, and Tracy Gold, who turned anorexic, and the guy who was the wholesome teen heart throb, who turned born again christian.
This is the dumb daughter from the football coach show.



Jamie Lunar, the dumb daughter on the football coach show who had a bunch of daughters.
I mean, I could look up the titles of the shows, and the wholesome heart throb's name, but you know who I mean already, because all my readers are soooo smart, right?

A little bit of beefcake for the female readers.



Please keep both hands on the keyboard.

I never got rock 'em sock' em robots for xmas as a kid. I always got lincoln logs instead, and never a big enough set to build any of the good stuff, and that is why my life is now so vapid and filled with meaningless aggression.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. Someone down the stree is having a garage sale and they are playing Sing Along With Mitch tapes just loud enough to stream into my consciousness and drive me monkey ass over tea kettle crazy.

Someone buy me something from here and I will follow you home and be your pretend sex slave for a fortnight.

Song of the Week
In honor of Be Kind to Australians Week here in the states, I'd like to dedicate this week's song to rosa posa, the troll, and it's me kinda.

New topic on STS.
Something deep and thought provoking

You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. The earth mother of our little blogging community has asked for a little help, and you ignore her plea. I mean it's not like she is asking for a kidney or anything, just a little vocal support, is that too much to ask, is it, is it, is it!!!
I just hope your lack of compassion doesn't drive her over the edge, let's face it, the world doesn't need another crack whore.
So here is a little suggestion for all you heartless rat bastards out there ...
Go take a look in the mirror, that's it, take a good look at yourself, and you might want to comb your hair while you're looking, and then tell me, tell me, tell me, that for as little as 39 cents a day you can sponsor oh just fuck it, I can't even think straight anymore.
Do the right thing people, do the right thing.

I have such a belly ache this morning, or would stomach ache be a better term. It must be the 7 ounce Hershey Bar I ate while watching television last night, you know the Hershey Bar I mean, the ones that costs $1.69 each but are on sale at Rite-Aid, buy one get one free, but it was so good, and it went down just like ... just like ... well, just like candy.
Went down, heheheheh

Don't have much time, I'm getting ready to watch the Aussie Film The Goddess of 1967, and I'll be dinky die with you I think it will be a ripper. I love my aussie slang book!!!

I have a new Mystery Commenter. Her name is Everest Girl, and that is all I know about her, except she may, or may not, live on the top of the world, or a mountain, and the mountain may be Mt Everest, but that is unlikely unless she is a Yeti, or the bastard daughter of Sir Edmund Hillary, and I'm kind of rooting for her being the bastard daughter of SEH, because that would be quite an honor, but that's all I know. There is no blog, no email, no fingerprints, no nothing.

Mo says you people suck. Are you going to take that from her.

I found this on Jess's site.
Six out of eight isn't bad.

the grand ennui Magic Number 12 Job 9 to 5 Lifer Personality Multiple Temperament If I Lose It - Run Sexual Straight Likely To Win Some Lubricant Me - In A Word Evil Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

Happy Thursday everyone. Does anyone want to mow my lawn for me. C'mon it'll be fun,
all the Pepsi you can drink, and the thrill of meeting me.

I have been officially named The Funniest Man on Earth™ by cacoa. Fake dog poo and plastic vomit for everyone.

Song of the Week
It's love song Thursday, and I would like to dedicate this song to all my blog crushes out there in bozland, and seriously, if someone were to actually sing this song to me I would probably worship the ground they walked on.

Don't you just hate when you anti-perspirant runs out after only one arm and you have to switch to a different brand. It just seems so perverted, and it could even be illegal, like cutting the tag off that says don't cut the tag off under penalty of law, from a mattress or a pillow.
This isn't going anywhere, so I am going to close and go watch Strictly Ballroom on Encore ... LOVE.
Don't hate me because I'm a romantic.

She's a humdinger.



She's a humdinger, folksinger, and she ain't, pardon my French, no Joan Baez.

If I wasn't such a weenie, my next tattoo would be Bettie Page, but hey, I'm not a weenie, so my next tattoo will be of Bettie Page, but that probably won't be for another year or so, man does not live by ink alone, and doesn't it sound hip when I say ink instead of tattoo, and if I were Ray Bradbury, I'd just say fuck it, and call it a skin illustration.

I need to post a pic, I mean I haven't posted one in a week full of dead monkeys.
I guess I'm all pic'd out for awhile.
Wait a sec ....
A young Bettie Page



A young Bettie Page, and each time I find a new Bettie pic I get a warm fuzzy feeling sort of like the first time I watched The Wonder Years.

I feel like pizza today, not now because it's only 11AM, but later tonight, but who am I kidding, I don't even feel hungry right now, and the only reason I am even considering getting pizza is because it is Whacky Wednesday at Hungry Howie's, and you can get a large one topper for $5.99, and I never get the flavored crust, because when I do I always ask for buttered crust, and they all always give me cheese buttered crust, and isn't there already enough cheese on a pizza without it having a cheesy crust, and what kind of person in their right mind would order a pizza with pineapple on it, it's a pizza for chrissakes not a fruit salad.

Believe it or not, sometimes I am such a jerk, and today has been one of those days, sort of.
Maybe jerk is too harsh a word, maybe buffoon would be a better choice, or maybe idiot savant, or simpleton, or just plain tard.
Yes, tard is the right word, I have flown my Tard Flag high today.
¿ Who cares ?

Has everybody died, or is it just that the weather is so nifty, or are you put off by Malone's post on Tampax, and I still think it sounds like an airport in Florida, and if you're interested my tattoo is healing nicely, and I will admit that this one hurt a bit, but the tattoo guy must have liked it because he took a couple snapshots of it to put in his book, and there was a cute girl just before me that got her first tattoo, on her upper left shoulder, but I couldn't see it, because it was already covered up by the time I got there, and this tattoo guy was pretty friendly, he poked fun at me for my way of dealing with the pain by twiddling my thumbs, but hey, it beats screaming out in agony, anyway ...
Where was I???
Show me the love people, show me the love, win a prize for the most ingenious way of showing me the love.
Screw it, I'm booking a flight on the Jefferson Airplane ...
Zoom
zoooooom
zoooooooooooooooooooooooooom.

Why Monday Was a Good Day

1 I got a tattoo.
2 I got a birthday gift from rosa posa, an Australian slang dictionary ... fair dinkum
3 I got the CD from Shanti that she has owed me for about three months. So far my three favorite cuts are Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-lot, Fernando by ABBA, and I'm Your Man by Leonard Cohen. It was worth the wait, barely.
4 Great weather.
5 No one tried to kill me on a train.

If I get any more tattoos, I might have to change my name to
Bozzy Bosbourne.

Tattoo pics
I really, really like it, so keep any negative comments to yourself.

Guess who just got back from getting a new tattoo.
Film at eleven.

We have a new Bozley's Angel. Our newest Angel is Anna is Punk Rawk. She's one of that rowdy east coast crowd, you know the ones I mean, all the girls rat their hair and hide razor blades in their wedgies, and the guys smoke unfiltered cigarettes and beat up on the band fags in the parking lot after school.
Congrats to Anna is Punk Rawk.

The birds, the birds, they are driving me insane. I don't know how much longer I can take it. They mock me, they really do. When I sneeze, they answer. When I play music, they sing along, off key I might add, and have you ever heard California Girls sung off key by three rabid parakeets, I didn't think so. My life is a mockery of all things good and decent..
Mmmmm, damn those ribs smell good.

Better alert the fire department, and put 911 on speed dial, because I am cooking today.
Spare ribs and baked potatoes, and the other junk that goes with it. I guess that disqualifies me as a vegetarian, or a libertarian, or a rotatarian, or a seminarian, or a librarian, but I am pretty handy with the dewey decimal system.

Should I shave.



Should I shave, or should I go.
Or should I ???

Let's get some action going on STS. I'm not doing this (cough, cough) for my (cough, cough) health.
Btw, how do you cure dry mouth, or cotton mouth, or underpants mouth, you know what I mean, don't you, where your mouth feels like the Mojave Desert, not to be confused with the Mojave Dessert, which I think has something to do with candied cactus, but I could be wrong.

I am suffering from Post-Traumatic Birthday Syndrome, and I need a shave too, but not a shower, because I just had one, and does anyone know the third s in the s, shower, and shave trilogy?

Wow, I just got the new blogger layout, and I already miss the old one.
Just getting ready to burn a Beachboy CD, and ya know, today is a perfect day to listen to the old farts, sunny and in the low 80's.
Wendy, what went wrong
We've been together for so long.
Blah.

My Birthday Re-Cap
According to my mother, and she should know because she was there, I was born at 1:05 AM, so I guess that is as good a place as any to start my birthday recap.
I had just finished watching the New Zealand produced movie Once Were Warriors, and had logged on to the net to see what was happening. By the way, Once Were Warriors is a terrific movie.
Dan Albia was the first one to acknowledge my birthday in a cryptic little zonkboard message ... "its yo birthday one the east coast old man."
I told you it was cryptic.
I then talked to rosa posa, and dvl, aka Desiree.
Rosa threatened to post my very macho beefcake lounging pajama pics on a gay porn site, and Des enlightened me with a fantastic scam known as birthday immunity, which I promptly put to the test on her. and it's not as dirty as it sounds, but close enough, and it worked.
When I got up the next morning there were a shitload of birthday greetings from all my blogging buds, and oh yeah, I'd like to thank the five Bozley's Angels who sent me nude pics, I won't say which five, but wooohooo, and I have never ever said wooohooo in my life, and will never say it again, except for now ... woooooohooooooooo.
That afternoon I took my mother out for a late lunch early dinner at the Ponderosa, where I almost, but not quite, made myself sick on chicken wings.
On the way home we stopped at ACE Hardware and I bought a new hose and my mother bought a trash can and a dryer vent cover, this was almost the highlight of my day, well it was the highlight of my day, but luckily each day has a night, and that is when the real highlight of my day happened.
I mentioned birthday immunity earlier, and according to Des, this is when you can impose on friends or family for one week's time without fear of repercussions just by invoking birthday immunity, which I did when I telephoned an old, how should I say it ...
an old sexual partner, and I got together with her and partnered sexually.
Dragged my ass home sometime after midnight, talked to the troll, and to Des, my computer froze up, and I went to bed.
Luckily, my computer was the only thing that froze up on me yesterday.
The End

I tempted fate today. I bought thirteen dollars worth of gas on Friday the thirteenth.
Who says I don't push the envelope.

It's five thirty in the morning and I just woke up. I am half asleep and wide awake, and would that be ...
a. a paradox
b. a contradiction in terms
c. a conundrum
d. a lie

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes. If you'd like I'll give you a run down on my day in the morning, or the afternoon, or sometime tomorrow. Right now, I'm just going to slip into my black silk loungers and ... lounge.

Me and my pimpin' silk loungers.

I received a birthday present through the mail from my sister today. I was hoping for money, but I got, are you ready for this ...
black silk lounging pajama's.
That's just great, my sister thinks I'm either a pimp or a 'mo, and I don't mean Mo.
Not that there's anything wrong with being a pimp, or a 'mo, or a Mo.
If enough people beg me I might do a glamour shot wearing them.

The What Does Kevynn Malone Look Like Contest

We all know Kevynn Malone, but we don't know what he looks like.
So this is your chance to tell the world, and let's face it I am the world, what you think Kevynn looks like.
Just email me a pic, or post one in my comments section, it's as easy as that.
The winner wins a date with Kevynn Malone.
Enter early, and enter often.
The judges decision is final, and I am the judge not Kevynn,
he's just another piece of meat to be used and discarded like yesterday's newspaper.

When I was growing up kid sister's of my best friends always found unique ways to describe my
physical characteristics.
One friend's sister said I had a head shaped like a football, that is an american football, not an english football, but in some ways similar to an australian football.
Another friend's sister said I had girl legs, because they were hairless, but in all actuality my legs were very hairy, at least compared to other boys my age, it's just that the hair was very wispy and light colored, but ya know, they did look kind of girly, and they looked really nice in heels, I mean they would have looked really nice in heels, if I had ever worn heels, but I hadn't, and I never would, unless I lost a bet, but I was drunk when I made that bet, I mean I would have had to be drunk to have made a bet like that, but I never made a bet like that, because a guy in heels would just be wrong, very wrong, unless he was wearing a nice pair of stockings to go with the heels, you know what I mean the kind of stockings that hug and caress your calf and thigh, I mean that I don't know, because I've never worn stockings, or fishnets either, or garters, or pantyhose, or garterbelts, or corsets, or any of that girly stuff you girls wear, and when I say girls I mean women, or chicks, or femmes, but not ladies, because that would be sexist.
But I digress.
Best friend's kid sisters are a pain in the ass.

Man oh man, I'm even getting hits from adult search engines.
Eat your hearts out all you boz wannabes.

Oooh, oooh oooh, Dogtown and Z-Boys is on Encore True in an hour, maybe this will help me to understand Malone a little better, and speaking of Malone, isn't that crappy little pop-up on his blog more annoying than a punch in the arse.

Not much going on. I've been cleaning the garage and watching movies on my new digital cable set up with the eight premium, but not as premium as HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, The Movie Channel, or Starz, movie channels.
And did I mention it was only 50 cents a month extra, and it isn't an introductory offer, and that I also get 39 music channels.
Just finished watching a US/Australian co-production of When Strangers Appear on Encore Mystery Channel, it had me going WTF every five minutes.
On an unrelated note, if anyone has ever burnt their boobs or wondered what it was like to burn their boobs, or wondered what it was like to have boobs, check out Chez Pink's last post and see how she charred her corpulent dé nobs.

The dirt is all spread, and so is the grass seed, and it is starting to rain.
Yeah, for me!

No Spell Check Monday 7
It looks like it is also
No Blogger Monday.
and
No Comment Monday
and
Yes, W Have No Bananas Monday

Monday, Monday, can't trust that day
Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday mornin' you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
Oh Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, lets haear it for the Mamaa's and the papa's!!!!

No Spell Check Monday 6
I just leraned an absolute truth topday.
Dirt is heavy, and a lot of dirt is really really heavy.

No Spell Check Monday 5
News flkash ...
Mo has changed commenting systems.
She's gone from Halocan to SquawkBox.

No Spell Check Monday 4
I've got 83 hits today, and about 70 of them are for ...
Carnie Wilson nude Playboy pics
I'm going to reun this sucker into the ground.

No Spell Check Monday 3
I just called the dirt guys and wit will be another two hours.
Anyone up for some strip poker to pass the time.
I know you east coasters are pretty wild, how about it huh!!!!

No Spell Check Monday 2
It's 11:30 and the dirt guy still hasn't shown up with the dirt.
I did managet to sneak a two hour nap in, so I am no longer half asleep, more like an eight asleep.
Note to self: be sure to watch Sprngier tomorrow, it's harmaphrodiets are us.
And I know how to sptell hermaphrodite, I just can't type it.

No Spell Check Monday
I was just reading Malone's latest entry and it gave me an idea, that in itself is pretty hard to believe, isn't it Well, th e idea is this, I will not be doing a spellcheck on anything I post today. What you see is what youy get.
This could end up being as exciting as No Underwear Friday.
Sort of a boz in the raw, so to speak.
Anyway ...
It's 7:30 in the morning and I am up, not taht I want to be up, but up becauwse I am expecting a load of dirt to be delivered anythime between now and midnight tonight. Oh, the humanity!

Song of The Week
This weeks song is by a group called The Barbarians, a mid-60's band out of Boston, with a one armed drummer named Moulty.
Asking the musical question ...
Are You A Boy, Or Are You A Girl

Carnie Wilson's thong.
I'm having a lot of fun with this whole Carnie Wilson thing.
Let's just call it Carnie Wilson Sunday.

I saw Uncle Joey, you know who I mean, Something Something Stamos, from Full House, on a television commercial for one of those dial 10-10 companies, and IMHO the dude is anorexic.
It was tragic when the Olson Twins broke his heart like that, and he had to settle for Rebecca Romaine Lettuce instead.
Don't you just love when I do the whole emoticon bit.

I've had 19 hits so far today looking for Carnie Wilson naked Playboy pics.
There are some really sick people in the world, but you know, I wouldn't mind seeing her stomach staples.

Comments On Your Comments

The fill in the blank post was supposed to be about me, so ...
Don't hate me because I'm a gorgeous, insomniac, Kevynn Malone.
I'm speechless.
The dirt vs. mulch debate continues, and I hope there isn't any bloodshed like there was in the Great Mulch/Dirt Wars of the late 60's.
I could dig a weedeater too. Get it dig ... weedeater ...

People who didn't know I had a pierced nipple
1. The Pope
2. Dynamite Diva
3. Carnie Wilson
4. Sharon Osbourne
5. My Mother

Yes, I know they are making a remake of Freaky Friday, I saw it advertised on the Disney Channel, ummm, but I don't really watch the Disney Channel, I was just surfing one day, yeah that's it, I would never watch the Disney Channel just to scope out the shows with teenage girls, that would be wrong, just wrong.

I can't believe it. It's the 8th of June and I am sitting here freezing my butt off. Of course it could have something to do with the fact that I am sitting here in my underwear, so sue me, it's my house, my bedroom, my life, and I can sit here wearing anything I want, and even if I wanted to sit around in women's clothing, which I'm not, or have never done, or never even thought about, I could.
But I digress.
I'm going back to bed, getting under the nice warm covers, and hopefully falling back to sleep.
Don't hate me because I'm _______ (fill in the blank)

I bought 120 dollars worth of dirt today, and fifty cents a month worth of digital cable movie channels.
The dirt will be delivered Monday, and hopefully by Tuesday I will have new grass seed planted, and geez, doesn't this sound a lot like the Victory Garden on PBS, that is if they still have the Victory Garden on PBS.
And since I have both Tier Two Basic Cable and Cable Modem my cable company is offering eight digital movie channels for 50 cents a month. Ok, it isn't the Premium Movie channels, but there are eight of them, six Encore Channels, the Sundance Channel, and the Indie Film Network ... and it's digital, and that will be installed on Tuesday.
So if you have any plans for me it will have to be on Wednesday.
Why do I bother posting on Saturday. This post is a load of bullocks, like anyone really cares about dirt and cable, I mean fuck, I don't even care about dirt and cable, but still I post about dirt and cable, and I bet if anyone does a google search for dirt and cable, I'll be #1 on the results.

The group short story, The Adventures of Bob, Angel Felipe, and Norma, and Their Quest For the Holy Hermaphrodite Somewhere Near Reno, Nevada has ended.
Check it out, and all the other posts, at STS.
NEWS FLASH
I have been informed by fuzzybottomedantichrist, that the story isn't over until she says it is over.
Soooo ...
The Adventures of Bob, Angel Felipe, and Norma, and Their Quest For the Holy Hermaphrodite Somewhere Near Reno, Nevada
continues.
I guess I have been bitch-slapped back into place.

It's Friday night, and you know what that means, don't you.
It's time for Alicia Witt's belly button.



Alicia Witt, I could say something profound about how she mixes brains and beauty.
So I will.
Yeah, she's all that and a bag of chips, and how many leopards had to die to ...

I just walked into a wall, pierced nipple first, and let me tell you it hurts!
No blood though, I think that might be a good thing.

What, if any, are your favorite comic books ... today in
Superfluous Tubesocks.

Man, another day just flew by, and it's Friday again. Funny how that works out seems like every week around this time another
Friday just pops up, and speaking of Friday ...
Wasn't Jodie Foster a hoot in the Disney production of Freaky Friday.
I'm lost, and I'm going to bed.
Sayonara, brothers and sisters, and all the ships at sea.

Does anybody want to fold my underwear, it's clean.

Bridget Fonda, tongue you very much.



Bridget Fonda, too bad she's related to Jane, but that doesn't detract from her tongue in the least bit.

In honor of my birthday next Thursday throughout the next seven days I am going to be listing the names of famous people who died when they were younger than I am now.
Dead People List
John F Kennedy
John Lennon
Marilyn Monroe
Frank Zappa - I think
Andy Kauffman

Cheeks just retired his blog after a little over a year and 500 posts. I guess that makes me the new Internet Crush, big shoes to fill but ... bring it on!!!

Plunk
Time for a post, but ....
Ah yes, Malone has posted on STS, So all you Malone groupies might want to go check that out.
And The FuzzyBottomed AntiChrist has temporarily derailed The Adventures of Bob, Angel Felipe, and Norma in their quest for the Holy Hermaphrodite somewhere near Reno, Nevada, with her childish display of temper.

And in a unrelated story ...
I have purchased my summer supply of quasi Jimmy Buffet tropical shirts.




And in another totally unrelated story, I will be checking out the new tattoo parlor tomorrow to see what they have to offer.

It's raining, and I have to go grocery shopping, isn't that a kick in the ass.
But on the bright side, my car is dirty so maybe the rain will be like a free car wash,
And pumpkin pie is on sale too ... fresh pumpkin pie @ $1.99 each.
And would you buy Playboy to see Carnie Wilson naked.

Hahaha.
A guy on Jerry Springer just found out his girlfriend was a prostitute ...
and a man!.
He isn't taking it very well.

If you want to get some undeserved hits just type in ...
Carnie Wilson Playboy pics.
I mean gee, I might even walk across the street to avoid having to look at ...
Carnie Wilson Playboy pics.
The guy who used to play Ed Norton, was that Art Carney or Carnie.
And you might think that JFK was our biggest Playboy president, but from what I've read Woodrow Wilson was hung like a horse.
Now remember kids it's ...
Carnie Wilson Playboy pics.

Song of the Week
This week's song is for adults only, so listen at your own risk.
No, seriously, I mean it.
Song of the Week For Adults Only
See, I told you.

Either or ...
My aftershave smells like paint thinner
or my paint thinner smells like aftershave.

Everybody go and join STS and make copious amounts of comments. I'm not fooling around this time.
And what is it with my health. Sunday I was sick as a dog, Monday I was healthy as a hog, and now I'm back to feeling like a trog ... lodyte.
Copious heheheh

Fine, I've set back long enough and tried to let this scene play out, but it won't, it just keeps growing and festering.
I think you all know what I am talking about.
It's the feud between the Saucy Aussie and the Bodacious Brit.
It ends here, and it ends now. Comprendé!
I have a belt, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Boz has spoken, and I am boz.

To all of you inquiring about Vegemite
unless you're an Aussie you're shit out of luck.
But, behold, you may read about the wondrous yeast and vegetable extract concoction right ...
here.

I really love springtime with all the butterflies and flowers and stuff.



I really love the and stuff.

Ok Malone, you wanted me to paint you a picture.
Here it is.
I call it
Sacred Blue Abstraction

I went out and bought the supplies, so tomorrow I'm going to put on my painting pants, my painting shirt, my painting hat, and my painting shoes, and I'm going to repair and ... paint the window frame and trim on the screened in summer room.
Wait a second ...
I forgot to buy the PAINT!!!
It's a joke, I bought the paint, but I'd better check and make sure I have brushes, but I could always use my fingers, like I did this one time at band camp.

I am making a New Year's Resolution to change the CD's in my CD Player at least once a week.
Bob Dylan be damned!

Oh yeah, I did a guest post, not a guess post, over at rosa posa's.

A guest post from rosa posa, sort of

YEAST ON THE GO



ya know just in case you need a shot of a yeast based, salty condiment during the day. I take this with me eveeeeeeeerywhere i go!.
I seriously feel like toast now... yum.
XOXO

Rosa

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,

I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.

Angel of the Month
An Angel of the Month has been selected.
It wasn't an easy process. I did not want it to end up like the fiasco we had last month.
Oy vey!!!
It came down to two very deserving Angels. Actually, the were the only two Angels that showed any interest in becoming Angel of the Month, so I guess it did come down to two, didn't it.
I will not discuss what went into my decision, for I am boz.
Without further adieu I give you ...
The Angel of the Month for June 2003

Stuff that has been going down since I have been sick this weekend

1. The case of the disappearing posts at Malone's. I know I saw them, and I know they aren't there now, and I won't rest till I get to the bottom of it. Ok, I'll rest, and I probably won't get to the bottom if it, but so what, I am sick after all.
2. Did any of you know that rosa posa has a brother. I talked to him last night when I should have been asleep, but the kid sounded lonely, desperate, and somewhat suicidal, and me being the gracious host that I am, listened. Ok, he didn't sound lonely, desperate, or suicidal, but he did sound an awfully lot like rosa posa, and could that be because they are brother and sister, or could it be that they are the same person. Aha, I've seen through your clever ruse, rosa or troll, or whoever you are calling yourself today. Prepare to pay the consequences.
3. Then after I talked to rosa or the troll or whoever they are calling themselves today, I was about to go to bed, when dvl aka Desiree zonked me on my zonk board, and quite honestly by that time I was so tired that I don't remember what we zonked about, but if you are interested, and I know you are, you can check the zonkboard, and isn't that a lot of zonks in one sentence. It had something to do with By By Birdie, tattoos, and Bettie Page, beyond that I am clueless, but then again clueless is a boz state of mind, isn't it.
4. Finally. well at least finally for now, Anna from Anna is Punk Rawk left a comment, and isn't that a precocious way to spell Rock, but she is part of that east coast, RonFez crowd, so that is to be expected, and if I were a girl, or even just a crossdresser I think that Anna is Punk Rawk would be a hella name for a blog, and yeah I just said hella for the first and probably last time in my life, but such is life.

The meds are either kicking in or wearing off, so I am out of here.
I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did.

I will be home all day, my sinus are tap dancing on my soul, making it hard to want to do anything but vegetate, and so I will, but of course with everything in life that can change in an instant.
So, I will be in and out of here all day, rotating between here and bed, and this is just another of a long line of awkward sentences that I think I have become known for.
Send me tea and sympathy, or give me death, I'm not sure of the exact quote, but I think that is pretty close.
Or you could just send me money, or jewels, or toast, lots and lots of toast, or naked pictures of your best friends sister, or mother, or grandmother, no scratch the grandmother request, but I think you know what I mean, and if you do that will make one of us.
I shall repose until next we blog again.
Nurse, fetch me my bag filled with magic elixirs for the mind, body, and soul.

The hauntingly beautiful Sydney Penny.



The hauntingly beautiful Sydney Penny.
Despite this sinus thingie problem I have at the moment, she is nothing to sneeze at.
And isn't Sydney an unusual name for a female, and isn't Sydney an unusual name for a male, and isn't Sydney an unusual name for a city in Australia.
But I digress, and good night.
And this time I mean it.
Honest.
Say good night Sydney.

Hi, it's me again, it's 4:25 AM and I just woke up to take some Nyquil.
I am sick, but still lovable, well, lovable-ish.
Oh yeah, before I forget, one more thing ...
Jenny, I've got your number, I'm gonna make you mind, Jenny I've got your number,
8-6-7-5-3-0-9-999999999999999999.

Oh fuck shit, fuck shit, fuck shit, I am mortal after all. I just lost this totally brilliant post about how my brain has gone all googly, and not like the search engine but like the googly you get when your body is downloading a sinus infection, which my body is currently doing, and googly isn't such a bad feeling because when your mind is googled you remember all the things that your mind doesn't normally let you remember, the drugs, the sex, the illegal things that make life worth living, and did I just say SEX, and pardon me while I go back and retype every other word, and then go back again and insert all the words I didn't insert the first time around.
Insert heheheh.
But I digress, and whatever,
I'm going to relax and continue with my googling.