Heck man, I had forgotten all about the Jerry Lewis Telethon until I walked into the supermarket and there was a guy dressed like Fred Flintsone sitting in front of a giant fishbowl filled with one dollar bills.
Hopefully, in the not too distant future, they will find a cure for Jerry Lewis.
Oh-hhhhhhhhhh Dean!!!
I've got a flumudgen on cromultafex.
It's so hard to do Jerry justice in the written form.

OMG, I have been linked by the world famous and internationally renowned zann.
That guy plays a bitchin' panflute.

Bitch Fights, Who Would Win
1. David Spade vs Tom Green
2. Marilyn Manson vs Justin Timberlake
3. Rosanna Arquette vs Patrica Arquette (special guest referee, David Arquette)
4. Cher vs Madonna (special wheelchair bout)
5. The Olson Twins vs. John Stamos and Dave Coulier (Australian Rules Tag Team)
6. Curly vs Shemp
7. Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O'Donnell (I know it's so 90's)
8. Salvador Dali vs Pablo Picasso
9. Eng vs Chang
10. Kevynn Malone vs Boz, main event, no holds barred, fight to the death or until someone flinches.

Extra added hahaha: spellcheck gave an alternate spelling of Justin as Justine, looks like even spellcheck has the skinny.

I just bought a new digicam, so if anyone is interested in buying my Vivitar 3500 for $40.00, which includes S&H, contact me at
boz48730@hotmail.com

Boz Reviews the Arts
1. The MTV awards show that was on the other night.
I didn't see it, but I saw a clip of Madonna slipping the liverwurst to Britney Spears. Poor Britney, that must have been like kissing her oversexed grandmother.
2. Trading Spaces
I wouldn't have sex with Paige Davis even if you put a bag over her head, and I'm desperate. Ok, maybe if you gagged her, one of those red ball gags with an over the head harness, yeah then I'd probably do it, and I'd even let Hildi Santo Tomas watch.
3. That song about dancing with your father again.
I mean the song is sung by a guy, get real.
I never danced with my father, my father never danced with my mother, my father never danced, period.
I dunno, it must be some kind of gay code word type deal, not that there's ...
But arghhhhhhhhhhhh, father dancing, if it isn't already, should be banned.
Now priest dancing, I think I could get behind that, as long as the priest didn't get behind me first.

Ok, the strike is over. It's not you people anyway.
It's .... (((gasp)))
People in the real world.
Had a big barbecue scheduled for today, spare ribs, baked potatoes, the whole nine yards.
Tons of food, because there were supposed to be mucho people.

So, my niece shows up with her boyfriend, and I ask when do you think your dad and your brother will get here, fair question don't you think.
Niece: Errr, ummm, my dad, notice small d in dad, decided to go up north to the casino.
You could see the flames shooting out both my ears, and probably my asshole too. It was my brother in law who said he was coming up here with no prompting by me, he called me three different times to tell me he was coming up here, I left him a phone message to make sure he was still coming.
Fuck it, he can cancel out if he want, but the schmuck should have the common courtesy to let me know about his change of plans. I mean I am so pissed that I don't know if I will ever forgive him. My sister must be rolling over in her grave.

I then ask my niece about her brother and her daughter.
Niece: Oh, ummm, he said he might come up later in the week when his cousin (another of my nephews) is due to be here.
Bullshit to that. If he even attempts to call and say he's coming up, he'll be getting a message that we have plans that day. Schmuck Jr. even owes me $1800.00 that no one knows about, because he needed a child support payment because his ex was going to have him thrown in jail for lack of support. Let's see, it's a secret right.
Hey, everyone, my dipshit nephew owes me $1800.00.
Pass it on!

And then ...
My sister and her husband were supposed to be here at 2PM, we get a call at ...
2Pm that they were running a little late. Ok, the campground they are at is about a ten minute drive from here, so I thought ok, they'll be here within a half hour.
Wrong-g-g-g-g oh Bozzius One.
They come waltzing in an hour and a half later.
So just fuck 'em, fuck 'em all. I am divorcing two thirds of my fucking family, and the other third is on thin ice.
I am Boz, and I am not amused.
Signing out.

----- On Strike Until Further Notice -----

So you want to play that game.
Ok.
No comments, no posts.
See ya.

Dr. Boz: Amateur Shrink
Say the first thing that comes to mind.
1. Number one
2. The Larch ... the larch
3. Cruising
4. Reality
5. Betty & Veronica
6. Vanilla
7. SOS
8. The Man
9. The Woman
10. Felix
11. Pure unadulterated sex
12. The death of MTV
13. The voices in your head
14. Elvis
15. Going to far
16. Kool-aid
17. The truth, as you see it
18. Amusement park
19. You
20. Someone else

What Happens When I Am In A Dark Mood
1. I don't laugh at the 3 Stooges, not even the Shemp ones.
2. I play Nico, the Aryan Ice Queen, Cd's, like I'm doing now.
3. I pick at scabs while I contemplate the significance of Spike Jones and the City Slickers.
4. I stare longingly at the the unwrapped bar of Dial Soap that taunts me from afar.
5. Candles, candles, and more candles.
6. Joyless masturbation.
7. I plot revenge.
8. I am the god of hell fire and I bring you ... fire
9. How ya doing, Rod McKuen, a poem by Henry Gibson.
10. Redrum, redrum, redrum, make that four redrums and one banana daquari.
11. What do you mean a wheel fell off your lawnmower.
12. Hey Cisco, wait for me.
13. Gorp fiddle flank fla day born.
14. Up against the wall Mugger Floopers.
72. Accordian blues and my dogs new shoes.
78. Interest waning, prospectus erectus.
78. Zip for now... baby.

I picked up a new bottle of shampoo out of the bargain bin at the dollar store today, some kind of ginger whatever, and I am dying to try it out, but dvl is yacking my ear off on MSN, when did I become such a babe magnet.

Man, there sure are a lot of assholes running around in the blogging world.
I visited a couple blogs today that I had never visited before, and they both just reeked of pettiness and holier than though attitudes.
I don't know, maybe they were trying to be funny, maybe you had to be a regular to understand their humor, maybe I just don't have a sense of humor, maybe a bear doesn't shit in the woods, and maybe they were just a couple of assholes, and maybe I'll just go watch a movie, but there better not be any assholes in it, I've had my fill of them for a few days.

My one nephew is a real EBay entrepreneur.
He buys and sells everything from football tickets to yesterdays newspaper.
I was talking to my brother-in-law yesterday and he told me that my nephew bought a huge case of tampons at a discount store for ten bucks and the last he heard the bid was up to twenty-five bucks on EBay.
Oh yeah, he's considered the normal family member.
But what really caught my eye was the menstrual cup someone else was offering. Who knew!

Bands I would pay to see if I didn't just make them up
1. Mother Clitoris
2. Cocks for Christ
3. Otto and the Erotics
4. My Place or Uranus
5. The Dingleberries
6. The Menstrual Psychos
7. Space Shuttle Monkeys
8. A Penis Between Us
9. Whores Du Jour
10. The Money Shots

I was just over at MTPP's blog and it looks like a few creeps have upset her pretty badly with their for shit negative comments, and it looks like we might be losing a really top flight blog because of it.
I dunno, maybe if we do the old Peter Pan/Tinkerbell scene, we can bring MTPP back to life, and I'm kind of upset so I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense, but when did that ever stop me, go check The Profane One out.
Do you believe ...
Do you believe ...
Do you believe ...
Do you believe ...
Do you believe ...
C'mon Tink Princess, you can do it.

I am now using both my usual commenting system, which is down now, and Haloscan. So you'd better comment on both systems so there isn't any jealousy between the two of them.

Things I Hate
Mad Hawaiians
Dust Bunnies
The Alphabet Police
Psychedelic Babies
Albino Zombies
The Anti-Thong
Good Lovin' Gone Bad
Words with too many Q's
Dogs who love Cats
The Deuce
Crapola the Movie
Morning Wood, no wait, I love that
And all that other stuff

Battle of the Bands
Yardbirds vs The Who
Cream vs Led Zepplin
Mothers of Invention vs The Velvet Underground
Rod Stewart vs David Bowie
Lou Reed vs Iggy Pop
Abbot vs Costello
Wolfman vs Aquaman
Wonder Woman vs Connie Chung
Cher vs Madonna
Dick Van Dyke vs Van Dyke Parks
Alan Brady vs Ted Baxter
Meat vs Potatoes
Mother Maybelle Carter vs Nancy Reagan
Guns vs Butter
ksjribys vs lkmnerypd

Who would win the
I'm The Biggest Dumb Fuck In The World
contest.
Would it be



Bill O'Reilly

or



Al Franken.

This Weeks Quiz
1. If I were a natural disaster what would I be.
2. What do the letters B.O.Z. stand for.
3. If I dated your mother how long before she'd put out.
4. Am I more Beaver Cleaver, Greg Brady, Theo Huxtable, Bud Bundy, or someone else.
5. If I fronted a band called the Grand Ennui what kind of music would we play.
6. If I dated you how long before you'd put out.
7. If I were convicted of a crime what would it be.
8. If I hosted a talk show who would be my co-host.
9. Re-name my blog.
10. Is it really all about me.

Tuesday the 26th is my mother's 82 birthday.
Here is the gift bag that contains her ... gift.



If I were any more artistic even I might have doubts about my masculinity.
Care to guess what her gift is. It's a good gift, honest.
Actually, I've been a pretty good son since I've found out that I am her sole beneficiary and heir to the Boz Family fortune.

The First Annual Boz Labor Day Weight Loss Challenge Weekly Update



The nay sayers might as well start writing their tributes.

If she were to follow me home I'd lock her in my bedroom and do a Michael Jackson
on her.



And I'd even change her name to Macaulay, or Corey, or Emmanuel, or something a bit more feminine like Butch the Amazing Goth Girl.
I am so fooking tired, I need to be sedated, where is Joey Ramone when you really need him.

I am dead on my feet, or ass, since I am sitting down. Not much sleep last night and then the long drive up to Alpena, and after about 5 miles I was about to fall asleep at the wheel, and the whole time I was in Alpena I was walking around in a trance-like state, sort of like the trance-like state I am in now, I mean George Romero would have been proud of me, kill the brain, kill the ghoul and the whole nine yards, and then the drive back home, I swear I'm surprised I'm not dead, 70 miles seemed like 700 miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and miles, and I so much wanted to just pull over get in my jammies and crash for 7 or 8 years, and to top it off, when I got home I went right to bed, and about 2 minutes after my head hit the pillow my eyes popped wide open, and I've been running around on adrenalin and fumes since then. I have a serious case of Marty Feldman eyes and scooby dooby scat man du.
(((PLONK)))

My nephew, the model, notice the family resemblance.



I think I'm his idol.

Staple's Update
Speakers work great!!!
Altec Lansing ATP3



Taking the sound card back, because the speakers work great !!!
Going to wait till my nephew, the model, gets up here and let him install the hard drive.
Also bought a 128MB PNY compact flash card for my digicam, on sale for $34.98 with a $15.00 rebate.

Ok, I'm going to the Staple's store in Alpena to buy my computer stuff, and if you never hear from me again you'll know that my computer has imploded and that I have become a sobbing mass of humanity.

Question of the Day
Should I post a pic of the person rosa posa refers to as my hot nephew, realizing that he pales in comparison to his Über hot uncle. I mean he only became a model because I was busy that day trying out for the Olympic team and working on a cure for cancer, and getting ready to judge on American Idol, and they needed someone in a hurry.

I broke open my piggy bank, which I humorously named Pork Knox, and I've been counting and rolling the loot off and on since last night.
The tally so far ...
28 one dollar bills
$95.00 in quarters.
$54.00 in dimes.
I haven't done the nickels or pennies yet, but I'm sure that will take the total up to about $220.00.
Then this week I am going to take the cash, plus the $120.00 in gift certificates I have for Staples, and do some serious upgrading on my computer.
Hard Drive
Sound Card
Speakers
And little whatnots with whatever is left over.
I am so thrilled, well, maybe not thrilled, excited might be a better word, with a touch of apprehension because what if I install this stuff and my computer implodes or something, ah but my nephew is coming up from Florida for a visit just after Labor Day, and he did put together a computer for his parents for xmas two years ago, and wasn't that nice of him, and he's a model too, and if he didn't want to help me I could always tip over his wheelchair.

Let's keep it simple, airy and light today with a pouty looking goth chick.



There is something about goth and pouty that were just made for each other, sort of like boz and [fill in the blank].

Anna Kornikova Kornicova Kournikouva that Russian tennis playing chick modeling her new sports bra.



Now that's the kind of Abs I'm shooting for.
Who knew she even played tennis.

Snagged this sucker from Shanti, and whatever she's calling her site this week.



Which Oz character are YOU?

Another Boring (Yawn) Weight Loss Update



Will you still love me when I'm on the cover of GQ, or will you be the kind that talks behind my back and tells people that you knew me when I used to pick my nose and wear mismatched socks.

Why don't I like Sean Penn.
I mean he's a good actor, isn't he.
I mean he was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
"Aloha Mr. Hand"
That still cracks me up.
Of course the best parts of Fast Times were Phoebe Cates' and Jennifer Jason Leigh's best parts, and to be honest with you I didn't even know that Sean Penn was in it until the third of fourth time I saw the movie.
Oh yeah, he was in Forrest Gump ...
No wait a minute that was Tom Hanks.
Sean Penn played a tard in that movie I didn't see, but I heard it was pretty good, but actually how hard is it to play a tard, I mean didn't we all use to go to the mall when we were in Junior High and goof on people by playing the tard.
So anyway, I think the real reason I don't like Sean Penn is because he only beat-up Madonna, he didn't kill her.
[The real Madonna was not harmed in the writing of this post, and remember kids, the boz only uses violence to make a point, or something.]

What a great tattoo,



And what a great place for a tattoo.
What do you think toots, and isn't toots a great name, and you hardly ever hear it anymore, I mean sure it's sexist, but sexist in a cute way, not like some of the appellations you hear nowadays.
Skirt is also good, but bimbo is bad, real bad, and how about dirty leg, I knew a guy from Oklahoma who used the term dirty leg when referring to a girl, or woman, who lived on the wrong side of the tracks, that's wrong too, and you never hear wrong side of the tracks anymore, it's, yeah you guessed it ...
trailer trash
which is another term I don't like, I mean what could be better than a home on wheels, even if they don't really have wheels, but let's say they do for the sake of my sanity.
Did I leave anything out.

Yikers!!!
We have a tornado watch for the next hour, and it just started thundering.
I am out of here, and under the bed.
Later ....

Here is a copy of an email I just received ...

Good Afternoon:

Can you send us the following to aid in our investigation.

Time/Date/Time zone of posts
The system IP Address
The posts themselves


Best Regards

XXXXXX XXXX
Network Engineer
Cyber Crimes & Abuse Department
ITCDeltacom

Things to do when you're bored
1. Check your zonkboard for ISP numbers.
2. Click on a certain ISP number.
3. Discover that you can track the ISP number.
4. Track the ISP number and find out that it belongs to gw1.edeltacom.com, and that it is a registered to a business.
5. Find out that the Service provider for gw1.edaltacom.com is:
ITCDeltaCom EDELTACOM-DOM
and is located at:
4092 South Memorial Pkwy.
Huntsville AL 35802
US
6. Come to the realization that the Service Provider takes abuse of their service seriously because they list an email address to contact in case of abuse.
7. That email address is abuse@itcdeltacom.com
8. Save the abusive messages because abuse@itcdeltacom.com said they might need them for their investigation.
9. Your move.

Pretty soon I'll be calling Malone chubby.



Hey Malone ... you're chubby.
See what I mean.

Toe sucking, it's not just for breakfast anymore.



And I think it will be a non-medal event at the next summer olympics in either Athens or Rome, no, make that Athens, I'm sure that it's Athens.

For the thousands of you interested in The Grand Ennui T-shirt ...
I am not in the T-shirt business, all I did was go down to the local Ye Olde T-Shirt Shoppe, and had them make one up. The shirt was 7 bucks, and it was 25 cents a letter, and since they were having an end of season sale they took 20% off the purchase, and it ended up costing something like 9 and a half bucks, and I think it would be really awesome, yeah I said awesome, if everyone went down to their own local Ye Olde T-Shirt Shoppe and had a T-shirt made up, oh no, not of The Grand Ennui, but with their own blog logo, and you could share with us, much like I shared with you, the joy of letting the world know that you are blog and you are proud, or something.
Ramble, ramble, ramble, it's too hot to do anything else.
And this post is already way too long, and I'm not even sure if I remember what the original concept of the post was, but I think it had something to do with me, and you'd probably have a Jimmy Olson scoop if it wasn't.

According to Anna ...
That punk rawk girl,
I am the only one with balls, and I hope I am not quoting out of context, and that it is an awesome responsibility.

You know what I think.
I think a bunch of us should get together one night and take over some ...
Nah, that idea sucks, but we really should get together one of these nights and maybe we can cyber bowl or something, or maybe have a big internet dance. I know I like to dance, internet dance I mean, and we could have tons of fun, and that was almost a rhyme, but please no chicken dance or hokey pokey, but the macarena would be permissible if performed by scantily clad latinos.
More cheese, please.

She's a little bit funky, she's a little bit goth and roll, with no apologies to Donny and Marie, or Ben and Jerry, or Laurel and Hardy, or you and me.



I love the smell of latex in the morning it smells like ...
[fill in the blank].

Look what all the cool kids are wearing back to school this year.



"Aw gee Ma, I want a Grand Ennui T-shirt, they're all the rage."

Ok, I give up, why is she looking at me like that.



Ok, why are you looking at me like that.
It's just a joke, I didn't mean anything by it.
Hey, don't do that ...
Stop it, I mean it, stop it.
Don't make me call my Mom.
I mean my Dad.

The age old question:
Should I trim the hedges and pull weeds, or should I wash the car,
and by the way I am starting to notice a difference in my appearance since I've lost 20 pounds, well at least with my clothes on, and now I think I can tell you the real reason why I started this diet in the first place ...
I was starting to look a little bit too much like the self appointed protector of things liberal Michael Moore, and worse yet, I was starting to think like him, and isn't it just a pain in the ass when someone you think is a total jerk shares the same views as you do.
I curse you Michael Moore.



I curse you Bill Maher.



I curse you Star Jones and your Payless shoes.



But damn, Star is one hunk of womanhood.

Musings after a morning bike ride
I like to play chicken with 14 year old boys on their bikes.
They think they're indestructible and I think I have nothing to lose.
The resulting rush is sweeter than opium.
Ok, I've never tried opium but the phrase sweeter than kool-aid made with three cups of sugar
doesn't carry the same impact ...
or does it.

Ok, I really think I'm sick this time.
I've got the chills, and every orifice in my body is either plugged up or draining, and trust me that isn't a pretty sight.
Maybe be a cherry cough drop will help.
I guess I'll just got to bed, and dream about all of you.

I was chatting with Anna ...
that punk rawk girl,
and she had some suggestions for pics. Here is one she sent me that she found while surfing.



There is just something about a girl with tattoos and tube socks that I find irresistible.
If any of youse out dere have a pic you'd like me to post, email it to me, and if it meets my high standards, who knows ...
I might end up posting it.

Things I found while cleaning out closets, drawers and boxes this weekend
2 cameras
2 remote controls
2 keyboards, one used, one new
A bunch of coins that must have some meaning to me because they aren't worth anything, but I've kept them cubbied away for a heck of a long time
A bazillion cables and wires to stereos, phones, and computers
2 folding chairs
A VHS-C camcorder
7 or 8 watches
A clock radio
3 telephones
A heating pad
3 printers
A Dr Scholl's battery operated back massager that may have some other applications that might be very interesting
Candles, candles, and did I mention ... candles
5 extension cords
8 bungee cords
No umbilical cords
4 decks of cards, all complete decks
3 disposable lighters
What looks to be about 50 pencils
10 Crayola vibrant color markers
40+ ink pens
2 bottles of Elmer's glue
A shitload of various school supplies
A whole bunch of other stuff
And two garbage bags of stuff that is going out in the trash

Weekly Weight Challenge Update, It's On A Sunday This Week,
So Sue Me

Also I'd like to dedicate this week's update to dvl for having the termacity to question the fact that I had an ice cream cone this week.



Oh yee of little faith, but seriously, dvl has been my biggest cheerleader, and that is enough seriousness for this week.

Is it after midnight yet, because I don't want to post until Sunday, because I already posted on Saturday, and since nobody commented on my Saturday post I am punishing you. I hate to be a post nazi, but you've painted me into a corner here.
No post for you!
Next !!!
Besides, I have been so busy today that I haven't had time to post, but you don't care about that either, do you ... ingrates.

Things I bought for myself on Friday
1. A 44 ounce fountain diet Coke
2. An ice cream cone.
3. A black hat/visor thingie
4. Three papermate gel pens
5. A room freshener that smells like baby powder.

For The Newbies
A few things you may not know about me.
1. Frank Sinatra is the voice of my conscience
2. Despite what I was lead to believe as a child, John Wayne is not my father.
3. I am in touch with my feminine side, and her name is Kimmie, and she is a 20 year old college cheerleader who happens to be a lesbian.

In other news ...
MTPP asked the reason behind my getting my nipple pierced.
People deal with grief in different ways. When a loved one dies some people drink, others may keep it locked inside until it slowly drives them crazy, others may find religion, etc. etc. etc.
When my sister passed away last year my brother bought a Harley Davidson.
When my father passed away a few years I couldn't afford a Harley so I got my nipple pierced.

In answer to a special request by MTPP ...
You know it
You love it
You can't live without it ...
My nip-ple



Old pic, been posted before, yadda yadda yadda.

Who isn't effected by the power outage and where are you located?
I'm in Northeast Michigan and we have power, but the Detroit area, and the Lansing area are without power.

I like to chat online, but I don't like to initiate the chat, so if anyone sees me online on any of the various IM's, and you want to chat, just say hey or similar words of greeting and I will be there.
I've seen a doctor about my not liking to initiate chats and he said it probably had something to do with me not being breast fed as a baby.

I have finally convinced myself to get the much discussed second nipple piercing as a reward for meeting my weight loss goal, but since my weight loss will not become official until the 1st of September I won't get the piercing until the first or second week of September.
Now if I could only convince my body.
Oh, yeah, I am either going to take someone along to take digi cam pics of the whole process or see if I can get the camcorder I haven't used in about ten years working and then videotape the whole process, and then try to figure out how to transfer the video to my hard drive. I mean how cool would that be!

I would like to thank Whitey from the bottom of my heart for pointing out my egregious error in identifying Big Star as Big Sky. Excuse me while I get out my fine tooth comb and magnifying glass and take a look at Whitey Owns Me.

The Boz Labor Day Diet Challenge Weekly Update, Which Is A Few Days Late This Week



Hey wait a minute, wasn't my goal 224 lbs.
Ok, I still have 18 days, and it is possible that my weight could go up, so it isn't official yet, but ...
Let the unofficial platitudes begin!!!

I had a good chat with HotDamnDoyle tonight. We talked about the 100 worst movies of all time, Saturday morning cartoons, Alex Chilton and Big Sky,
and the Cleavers ...
Ward, June, Elridge, and Meat.
He was drunk and I was sober, but we both wanted to give June a new pearl necklace.
Life doesn't get much sweeter than that, does it, or do I mean pathetic.
I'm so very tired.

Note to Jess, I'll buy you the striped socks if you send me a pic like
this.
Attention surfers from work, above link may not be safe for work, depending on where you work, and if you are at work, shouldn't you be working, or in the break room, or stealing office supplies or something.

Weird Neighbor Story #1
A few years ago my neighbor and his wife drove their mini-van to Alabama for the winter. While enroute his wife passed away. His daughter then flew down to help with the funeral arrangements. One of the arrangements was that they drove back to Michigan with his wife's corpse in the back of the van.
He sold the van not too long after he arrived back home.

My doctor was pulling out of his driveway as I was heading into the home stretch of my bike ride this morning and he said to me ...
"Hey boz, you're looking pretty buff."
Ok, he didn't call me boz, he called me Ken, because Ken is my name, but for the sake of continuity and as not to confuse the easily confusable among you, we will just say that he called me boz.
But I digress.
I didn't know if he was joking or what, but it was his idea for me to do the whole weight loss and exercise thing, so if he was joking, screw him, but if he was serious, it was an excellent motivational tool because instead of going home I rode the bike for another 15 minutes.

Is that a thong she's wearing, or does she just have an enormous ass.



And either way, would you hit it, and I feel really uncomfortable saying hit it but I have to keep up with the times, and I guess it's better than saying would you wang dang doodle it.

There has been very little action on STS lately, but we do have a new member Melissa, the profane princess chick who said that her favorite sex toys were her fingers and her imagination, and I'd have to agree with her. Her fingers are one of my favorite sex toys, at least in my imagination, and isn't it funny that in a round about way everything I say makes perfect sense, and I knew it would be just a matter of time until the rest of you caught on.

What are your top 5 non-Cola soft drinks
Mine are, in no particular order:
1. Squirt
2. Vernors Ginger Ale
3. Faygo Red Pop
4. Sunkist Orange Soda
5. Dr. Pepper

I'm off to watch a movie in a minute. Let's see if you can guess the title.
It is about an English tailor who has a pathological obsession for measuring women that leads to ...
REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM

Dear Sunday Night Sex Show Lady,
I got an erection while riding my bicycle today. Is this normal, and what should I do about it.
Signed
Hard On My Huffy

I'm still waiting for Eloon to do a nude cameo walk-on on my zonkboard like she has done in everyone else's. I mean she is a member of my web ring, and you think that would count for something, or maybe she is just one of those Brits who still haven't forgiven us for the Boston Tea Party and all that other misunderstanding from a few years ago.
Hey, I like the Beatles, and The Young Ones, and Pamela Stephenson, and I can hum the entire theme song from Coronation Street.
Geez, life is so bleeding unfair, see I can even use British slang.
I'm not going to beg though, but let me just say, I am more than a passing acquaintance of Tony Blair, and he owes me a favor.

A model in strip-ed socks, laying on her back, sort of, on a black background.



With a cute little belly button, and even though you can't see it she has blonde hair, but knowing her hair color sort of spoils the mood of the pic, so just pretend I didn't say anything about her hair color being blonde, just pretend, for the sake of pretending, that her head is shaved, yeah, that'll do it.
A model in strip-ed socks, laying on her back, sort of, on a black background, with a shaved head, who may, or may not, have been blonde at one time.

I'd cut off my nose to spite my face.
If all my friends were doing it, I'd probably do it to.
I'll do it till I need glasses.
One of these days I'll never regret it.
Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny.
Blah di blah di blah.

I feel the need to get my other nipple pierced.

I will send an unposted picture of myself to anyone who responds in kind. I know it's a pretty lame idea, but it is the dog days of summer after all, and I'm sitting here trying to get a cribbage game going, and it just popped into my mind.

I'm going to bed now. I know it's early, early for me, and that I've had my fair share of sleep already today, but ...
but ...
but ...
The hills are alive with the sound of music ...
Fucking hills.

Girls who wear glasses ...



Have fantastic asses,
and really funky looking heels.

Here's the deal. Last night while chatting with rosa posa I told her I would do something nice for her, which is pretty much totally out of character for me, but a promise is a promise so here it is.
It's the
"See how many words you can make out of the letters of the title of rosa's blog
Whoa That Was So Deep
contest."

Here are the rules.
1. The words must be at least four letters long.
2. They must be in English
3. Or Italian
4. Or Aussie slang

I'm sure there must be some sort of big prize for the winner, at least you think there would be, wouldn't you.
On your mark ...
Get set ...
Go .....

Baby's in black and I'm feeling blue.
Wondering, oh, what should I do.

I've just added cunty fresh me to my links, I mean how often do you get to say cunty fresh me,
And even if
cunty fresh me was a for crap site, which it isn't, I'd still add
cunty fresh me to my links because
it is so cunty and fresh and me.
Check out cunty fresh me, at finer stores everywhere.
Ask for it by name.
That's ...
cunty
fresh
me

Oh man, oh man, oh man.
Tank Girl just visited my site. I just love that chick.
Pa-pa-pa-pow-w-w-w and all that rowdy grrl shit.



Oh wait a second that was
Tank Green
that just visited my site ...
Nevermind

Color me pissed off.
I spent most of last night and all of this morning getting the house in order for company, then a half hour ago, while I was out, I get a call on my answering machine saying that they can't make it, and they will try again next week.
Yeah, they'll try again next week, but I won't.

Hey it's Saturday August 9th, the anniversary of the day that I left for Japan for a year and a half stay that turned out to be an eight month stay, or a nine month stay, if you count the month that I spent in Okinawa, which wasn't a part of Japan when I arrived, but was a part of Japan when I left, and I sort of have that effect on people, and countries, and the aforementioned eight month, or nine month, stay changed my life and the way I thought about my life forever ...
Now I'm going back to bed and dream about sweet Tsetseko, whom I haven't dreamt about in years.

Shoot me in the foot, and put me out to pasture, with Louis Pasteur, cause I'm going to bed, cause you can only download so much Donovan and the Dillards, before enough is friggin' enough, and that's my lot in life Lalena, can't blame ya, Lalena ... baby.

Woman in white on the window sill.



I think maybe the white signifies her purity, or maybe she is just one of the good guys, or maybe her good underwear is in the wash, and all she has clean is this set that her
grandmother got her for xmas of '02.
This is of course all hypothetical, this could all be a sham, a charade, a cleaver ruse on her part,
she could be one of those hoochie girls, the kind that drinks alcohol and smokes cigarettes and goes dancing on a Tuesday night.
Why is life so complicated.

My blog has really sucked lately.
What can I do to spice it up, you know, put the old boz ooomph back into it.
Somebody please, please, help me, help me, help me ....
ooooooooh

Today Montana, tomorrow the world.
I'm gonna be better known than McDonalds.

For all of you who need your daily dose of boz, this is it.
For all of you who could care less, this is it.
For all of you who .......................

Yesterday was a good day, internet wise.
I managed not to spend a whole lot of time online
And I also go to chat with three of my favorite people.
Take that ennui.
I love it when I'm cryptic, and I love the sound of breaking glass.

Bondage Chat is really dead tonight.

Malone's List
Kevynn Malone had a list of questions on his blog that he wanted answers to. I figured if I am going to spend this much time on something I'm going to post it on my site and not in his comments section.
The Questions and the Answers:
1. Who would you want to win in a fight between Brittney Murphy and Britney Spears?
Murphy Brown
2.Tom Green or Alan Greenspan?
Red Green
3. Would you rather live in Iraq or Afghanistan?
Depends on whether I got beach front property.
4. Matrix Trilogy, so far, or Lord Of The Rings?
Lord of the Flies
5. Do you come in peace or go in pieces?
I came for pizza
6. Spiderman or Batman?
Comics are for geeks
7. Kirsten Dunst or Keira Knightley?
Bettie Page or Dita Von Tease
8. Movies or books?
Books about movies
9. Favorite book?
Catch-22
10. Favorite movie?
Dr. Strangelove
11. Favorite website?
Silent Screams
12. Would you rather have a super nice car or a super nice wardrobe?
A super nice house
13. Ever shoot a gun?
Yes, and a rifle too
14. Been in a fight?
More fist fights than verbal fights
15. Why am I writing this? What happened to what I was supposed to put down?
That's two questions, disqualified
16. Do people like you?
What's not to like
17. Who do you hate today, besides me?
Besides you, how about your brother
18. Drink much?
No
19. Smoke much?
No
20. Nervous habit?
Looking at my watch
21. Masturbate much?
Define much
22. What was the last website that you were on before this?
Whoa that was so deep
23. Do you want to ask me something? Anything?
Do you want to tell me something, anything
24. Am I sorry for doing this to you?
You will be

To anyone in the Southern California interested in seeing a free concert tonight
Thursday August 7:



CALLING ALL CONGREGATION MEMBERS!!!
WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!

We put the band back together and are having our first show back this Thursday, August 7th at the request of Tom Jones and his management...they are in town for a limited amount of time and need to see the live show before they return to England. WIREIMAGE will also be in the house.

The show will be:

Thursday, August 7th, 2003
9:45 PM
Club Sixteen-Fifty
1650 Schrader (just South of Hollywood Boulevard, West of Vine)
the show is 21 and over and it is FREE admission!!!

This is a VERY IMPORTANT show for us, PLEASE bring every person you know, even if you don't like them that much.

We appreciate your continued support. SEE YOU AT THE SHOW!

The Movie. The Music. The Legend.

Church of Tom Jonez the Movie

I just broke a huge honking mirror, and I guess I'm lucky I didn't break my huge honking self.

Good-by cruel world, I'm off to join the circus,
something, something, something about a broken hearted clown.

I knew her in a past life.



Except she had bigger tits, and I think she wore a bra, so maybe her tits weren't really bigger, maybe they were just shaped and lifted.
Who am I kidding, if I knew someone like this in a former life, or even a current life, if you want to call this a current life, I would have stuttered uncontrollably at her mere presence, or something, and when did this self-loathing rear it's ugly head, and it's pretty hard to type in the dark,
so I won't.
And maybe she is wearing a bra after all, and what is she doing with her hand, and why is it any of my business.

Is it acceptable to listen to The Pogues.
I mean is it acceptable for me to listen to them.
They seem awfully Irish, and not in that U-2 sort of way, I mean really Irish,
and it sounds like they like to drink, both beer and whiskey
and they sound awfully pissed off, even in their happy songs.
At least they aren't singing that friggin Unicorn song.

There's been a lot of negativity floating around lately.
Could it be the Dog Days of Summer?
Peace out Brothers and Sisters, we don't want to end up like a
Bob Dylan song, do we.
Oh shit, my Summer of Love roots are showing again.
Tune in, Turn on, Drop dead.
I think that's how it went.

Which movie should I watch tonight.
1. Night of the Hunter
2. Black Hawk Down
3. River's Edge
or
4. Day of the Dead
There's a bunch of other good movies on tonight, but I've narrowed it down to these four.
If I watch Black Hawk Down that is the only one I can watch because of conflicts in time, but if I watch Night of the Hunter I can watch either River's Edge or Day of the Dead.

Sponge Boz Square Pants



Can I sue Nickelodeon for copyright infringement, because I've been calling my unit Sponge Boz for years, and I'm not even going into the Square Pants thing.

I'm not sure if I like the
Documents referring to this site within the last 24 hours (minimum 2 references):
feature I added to the bottom of the page about a week ago.
On the plus side it lets me know who is stalking me,
but on the minus side if any of my links have it, it lets them know I am stalking them.
Knock, knock
Who is it?
Land shark
Go away
errrr, um, stutter, mumble ... candygram

A lame attempt at increasing my hits

Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics, Nude blogger pics,

It's 5:30 in the morning, what do you expect .... cheeze whiz?

What common interest do these two songs share.

Song #1

Song #2

Winning entry gets nothing but the love they deserve, and then some.

Interactive Grand Ennui
What would you like to hear as the next
Song of the Week
Please tell me,
I want to know-o-o

It's been 22 hours since I've made a post, that must be some kind of record.
The highlight of my day was buying a pair of Sponge Bob Square Pants boxer shorts.
Life in the fast lane, ahhhh.
Eat my exhaust.

I've noticed some very sinister things lately blog related wise.
1. My spam email corresponds to what I post about.
2. The little google ads on the free blogger sites correspond to what you search for on google.
3. Am I the only one getting occasional pop-ops when I open blogspot blogs.
4. It's 2:45 in the morning so don't expect this post to make much sense.

I think I'm going to watch this movie in about half an hour.

All Over Me (1996)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
304 IFC: Tuesday, August 5 1:05 AM
1996, R, ***, 01:30, Color, English, United States,
A teen (Alison Folland) finds lesbianism, starts a band and loses a gay friend to murder in New York's Hell's Kitchen.

I'll probably fall asleep after the lesbian part, but I could use the rest.

According to cacoa the latest euphemism for masturbation is
Rolling your mouse wheel.
She is such a perv.

I'm going to post three pics from my erotic picture folder and that will be it for tonight.
Then I will turn on my various IM's and see how easily I can be ignored..
The pics ...







Be there or be square.
And another thing, but let's save that for a later date.

Did anyone else get a postcard from Paris today.



I didn't think so.
Thanks Des, you sexy thang you ...

I think I'll start an emo band and call it Kenny & The Trojans, maybe I can even get Anna ... the punk rawk girl to be my booking agent.

Monday Weight Loss Update



One pound and four weeks to go.

For all you aspiring Martin Scorcese's out there, here's a chance to make your own digital movie.
It's fun, it's free, it's real.
Click your Click thang
and then go to DFILM MOVIEMAKER
If you make a good one you can send it to me at ...
boz48730@hotmail.com

This is cool, or not. I just dragged the Blog This thingie to my link bar, and now I can post without having to go to my edit page.
As if you really care.

The Right Thing To Say
What would be the most appropriate comment to make if you saw an 80 year old man driving a '92 Cadillac.
1. Hmmm, it must be time for the "early bird special" at Denny's
2. Somebody left the gate unlocked at Shady View.
3. I think I'll pass on the Farmer's Market today.
4. Is that you boz?

I've found a very nice bondage chat room, maybe I'll see you there sometime, of course I would never visit a place like that unless I was very very lonely, and of course I have never been lonely, so you probably won't see me there, but if you do I will be there as Bozley because Bozley sounds a lot more bondage-like than boz, don't you think.

See what happens when you take quizzes at six in the morning
But I do notice a resemblence around the eyes.


If i was a serial killer i would be Ed Gein
The Original Leather face. Ed Gein, started out as a grave robber, robbing graves for the remains of women around the age of 50 and using the bits and pieces that he found to furnish his house. Eventually moving up to living subjects Ed would go on to kill 3 local women whom he would decapitate, skin and leave on meat hooks in his basement.


He later went on to confess that he would fashion masks and vests out of the skin of the women he had killed, even going as far as cooking and eating their hearts. Ed believed that he had to do these killings because his dead mother told him to.


Silence of the lambs, Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are just some of the many movies that have been inspired by the life of Ed Gein.


Kill Count: 3

Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

A New Years Revolution, Ok, Resolution for August
I have a nasty habit of deleting links, I get tired, or pissed, or scared, or paranoid, or trapezoid, or freakazoid, or somethingazoid, and I delete away.
Some of the links are the annoying bloglinker links from people who just link you because they think you'll get them traffic and they link everybody in site or sight, fuck it, I'm tired and I'm not going back and change it, and some are links from people that I used to visit, and they either deleted me, wait, I can't believe anyone would ever delete me, or I deleted them because I didn't visit them anymore.
But wait, there's more ...
This is about me making a resolution ... right.
So my resolution is that I will never delete another link again, as long as I live, and for a long time after I die, not even those crappy bloglinker link whore links ... whore ... links ... whore ... ad infinitum.
Gaaaaaaaaa
What!

I could have swore she had a whip in this pic.



Blah, blah, blah, fetish, blah, blah, kinky, blah blah, ooops, blah blah, that's never happened before, blah, blah, taste, blah, blah, help me Rhonda yeah, get her out of my heart ...

Let's see, I've been linked by two new blogs, and gloryoski Daddy Warbucks they both start with the word Digital.
The first is Digital Ghostbuster and I don't know what the hump that means, but it's all poetry as far as I can see, and the poems are short, and that's a good thing, and there isn't a commenting system, and that's good to, because how do you make comments to a poem.
The second link is Digital Hamster and he says, and I am assuming he is a he, it isn't about hamsters, but I bet it's a little bit about hamsters, and did you know that if you pick a hamster up by it's hind legs its eyes will fall out, let's see him, and I am assuming that he is a him, try not to comment about that.

Tropical Bozley getting ready to hit the big city.



Alpena, look out, the bozzer is back, and he's bad, and he's sweating profusely.

I found a couple of bottles of Vernors stuck in the back of the fridge, so I have been drinking Vernors all night, and on another note, I think it's time I cut my toenails.

A little of this, a little of that, and a whole lot of nothing on a Friday night

Eloon from CoopBlog has joined boz's ring. See right hand column near the bottom of the page.
She is part of that unruly British mob, you know the ones I mean, they put vinegar on their FRENCH FRIES, and think that a Wimpy Burger is a real hamburger.
Anyway, it's nice to see a little more international flavor to my growing legion of fans, and to take a page out of the Brit's book ...
The Sun Never Sets On The Bozley Empire
or something like that.
On a completely different subject ...
Both Jess and Melissa, the Profane Princess said that I would be part of their dinner party of six, but now I have two Jess's linked and I don't know whether it was .Jess or Jess, but there's only one Melissa, at least for now.
Anyway the dinner thing isn't a real good idea because I eat with my hands, however I somewhat make up for this by being a good tipper ... 20% baby.
So screw this popsicle stand I think I have a movie to watch.
Eat me later
Jess

Ok, maybe a pic will hold you for awhile.



Meanwhile, I'm going back to bed to dream the impossible dream, and all that.

Dinner for Six
Who would you invite if you could invite six people, living or dead, fact or fiction to a dinner party at the local IHop, or Denny's, or any restaurant of the same ilk.
My choices.
1. W.C. Fields
2. Marcia Brady
3. John Quincy Adams
4. Lana Lang
5. Lee Harvey Oswald
6. Alfalfa Switzer
Do I really have to explain my choices, or can I just leave it at that, it's been a long day, and I really had to strain just to come up with a topic, let alone six people, and you know, I've never been to an IHop in my life, and I can just here cacoa ...
"What's an IHop?"
And I can just hear rosa ...
"Hey, what about me, it's never about me, it's always about cacoa!"
And I feel like going over to FatFreeMilk and kicking Malone's ass all the way over to Definiton of Boredom and no I'm not going to link anyone, they should be grateful that I even mentioned them, I could have mentioned anyone.
I could have mentioned Dynamite Diva or Sheeplovr/Tunekies/Don Labia/Rogue Hamster or whatever the fuck he is calling himself today, or Anna the ... punk rawk girl
And I am getting confused my nose is blocking up, and I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and I'm poor, and I'm huddled masses ..
I am just so positively 4th street I can't handle myself.
And Spell Check just gave me an alternate spelling of rack for rawk and now I'm getting excited just imagining the possibility.