Call me
"boz the handyman"
I just installed a new light fixture in the garage
without electrocuting myself
without knocking out power for the neighborhood
and without burning down the garage ... yet.
I call that a win, win, win situation.

I sometimes wonder if the Everly Brothers had any sisters
and if they were jealous of Phil and Don.
But is a quarter after 6 and I should really be back in bed
or steal my daddy's cue and make a living out of playing pool
or find myself a rock and roll band, that needs a helping hand
Oh Maggie, I wish I'd never seen your face.
Maggie is a dead on sexy name for an Irish girl/woman/chick
But it sucks if you happen to be of the southern persuasion
Cause it winds up being Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ggie
Accent grave on the the aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
But I digress ...

lucy did the near impossible.
She talked me out of my funk.
I'm going to stop and smell the coffee and the roses
And I might even try to walk and chew gum
And duck and cover
And twist and shout
And bubble and squeak
And bangers and mash
And lather and rinse
and repeat,
And isn't that just a ploy by the shampoo conglomerates to get you to use more shampoo
thus further lining the pockets of Mr. Prell.
And isn't Prell a funny name for a shampoo
And wouldn't Prell be a funny name for anything
And do they even make Prell anymore
And if they don't, I think we know the reason.
"Hey mom, did you buy the Prell"
That's a line from the movie The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds
Directed by Paul Newman
and starring Joanne Woodward.
Man, I need some Prell, bad
real, real, bad.

Well, la di dah, li di friggin' dah.
I don't know what it is, but I've felt hostile all day.
Probably boredom, or a bad night's sleep
or the stone in my shoe
or the hole in pocket
or the cats in the cradle
or the bats in the belfry
or the dogs in the kennel
or the fennel in my spice rack
or the lentils in my soup
and how come every time I think of lentils I think of Neil from the Young Ones?
or is it Neil Young from Everyone ... Knows This is Nowhere?
I wanna live with a cinnamon girl
I could be happy the rest of my life
With a cinnamon girl.
And Neil Young is still alive, did you know that, but he isn't so young anymore,
But Fred Neil is dead, not to be confused with Drop Dead Fred, which was a movie starring Rik Mayall, who also played Rik from ...
you guessed it The Young Ones!
I always make sense if you hang around long enough.
La di dah, la di friggin' dah.

Geez Louise.
This has got to be the most boringly dull day in the entire history of my life chock full of boringly dull days.
I did get my painting project done, but it was too easy, and when anything is too easy you know something has to come along and bite you in, or on, the ass, or arse, or asp.
Have I ever used the word anus in here?
Disgusting word, but is there a nice word for bunghole?
Rectum is only mildly offensive, but it makes my sphincter cringe whenever I hear it.
Asshole, sighhhhhhh, just too trite, and way to utilitarian.
Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
I'll have a purple nurple to go.

Hear me bitch, moan, and complain, about not being able to sleep.

bozblog audio post

When I was a kid, Marilyn and Richard Savage, from across the street, tried to convince me that bathtub was a dirty word.
Marilyn and Richard were brother and sister, and they weren't the brightest bulbs on the block, but Marilyn did grow up to have a glorious rack, while Richard only grew up to be a dimmer bulb.



It took me years to figure out that it was bastard not bathtub that was the dirty word.
I don't think Richard and Marilyn ever figured it out.

RadioBoz is good.
Music is good.
Sex is good.
Life is good.
Pepperoni pizza is good.
My toes are tapping and my heart is racing to the music.
I hold these truths to be self-evident.

Now these are red shoes, for really, sure this time.



It's not a fetish, I worked my way through college smelling selling shoes.
I can appreciate the craftsmanship.
That's all it is, trust me.

Ooooh, oooooh, oooooh.
I just created my own personal radio station on Yahoo Launchcast Radio.
Check out RadioBoz

I have my afternoon already planned out.
Starting at 1:30pm est I am going to be sitting in front of the computer while watching the hockey game on television and making random rude comments on my blog.
I am not the best multi-tasker in the world, I have trouble walking and thinking about chewing gum at the same time.
So let's take it to the dark room and see what develops.
Let's run it up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes.
I am plagued by sinusitis, please forgive me.
Burgers on me after the hockey game, meet me there.

Sun Volt and Bettie Serveert
make a very tasty listening combination for a stormy Friday Night
in Bozaritaville.

Oooooh, The angels want to wear my red shoes.



Oooooh, The angels want to wear my red shoes.
Well, they looked red, and if you squint they still look a little bit red.

I'm watching The Shield Marathon on Fx. They sure do say shit a lot.
And I mean a lot.

Stevie Wonder pays boz a visit.


bozblog audio post

I bought some paint today, and I am going to paint the vanity and the etagere in the bathroom.
I'm going with Peanut Brittle this time because the Burnt Orange just didn't have enough pizzazz to it.

On this day in history.
March 28, 1969
Former President Dwight D. Eisenhower passes away
Former Grandfather Samuel E. Cardwell passes away
Former Civilian Kenneth V. Cole passes away
Pretty amazing, don't you think?

I was going to make a post tonight before I went to bed, but I don't think I will.
Imagine, someone asked me if I colored my hair, like one of those big city poofter boys.
I think not.
I have never colored my hair, I do not wear a rug, or a girdle, or women's undergarments, well, maybe, except for that one time, but it was on a dare, or I lost a bet, or something, and it felt really funny, until I got used to it, so sue me.
boxers or briefs?
briefs, except at night when I wear both
And not to change the subject, but did I ever tell you that my one grandmother used to chew Mail Pouch chewing tobacco?
How attractive is that!
Oh yeah, and while I am still up, today, March 28th, is the anniversary of my induction into the air force.
I hated basic training, too much yelling, and most of it directed at me, and one time my training instructor hit me right between the eyes with a combat boot, and to add insult to injury, it was my combat boot.
and to add injury to insult, it really hurt!
Goodnight Irene.

I always like to post a nice Easter pic this time of year.
That is an Easter bonnet, isn't it?



Who am I kidding? Just another excuse for a little gratuitous skin.
There's nothing wrong with that is there.
I mean the last time I looked this was still the good old USA, land of the free, home of the brave,
something something something
And god bless a little gratuitious skin.

Guess what?
Sex, even without love, is good.
Just thought I'd let you know, in case you were wondering,
and EROS spelled backwards is SORE, and if you do it backwards you'll probably get sore,
but sore in a good way.
So what have we learned today?
Sex is good
EROS backwards is SORE
Sore is good.
The circle remains unbroken.
It all makes perfect sense when you just stop a minute to think about it,
doesn't it.

I think I am suffering from post-Bozzie Depression Syndrome.
I don't feel the love anymore.
Show me the love people, show me the love, show me that you mean it.
Don't play the love nazi with me.
"No love for you, no love today."
I don't mean carnal love, but carnival love would be alright.
A kewpie doll and a snog on the ferris wheel, and if I greased up my hair and rolled a pack of Luckie's in my shirt sleeve I'd make a damn fine carny, I've already got the tats.
Yep, post-Bozzie Depression Syndrome.
A classic textbook case.

Une fille française essayant de fixer un pneu plat. Seulement le Français peut faire une tâche si mondaine sembler vilaine. Bébé! Je soulève mon boycott de tout le Français de choses seulement ainsi je peux signaler cette carte postale française érotique de cru.

I am awash in fetishes, hear me roar.
Ok, so hear me whimper in the corner
my knees pulled up to my chest
slowly rocking and humming.
Who's got your belly button?

I lot of people are making .wav files and using audio blog, which is ok by me, except for the fact that they all sound better than I do, well they all sound better except maybe for Amy "Rah, Rah, Sis Boom Bah, I'm In Pep Club Ha, Ha, Ha" Choppa.

I have to tell you that lemon meringue pie is pretty tasty at 11:30 at night.
'scuse me while I wipe the meringue off my mustache.
Speaking of mustaches, I know mine is very light colored, but it's there just the same
And something even weirder ...
I have had two people in the last week tell me that I look very distinguished with a mustache.
So what do you think of that?

Cheeks says I sound like Jamie Gumb aka Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.
You decide.
Buffalo Bill
boz

You have to admit Jane, that 30 years later it does look kind of stupid.



You have to admit Jane, that 30 years later it does look kind of stupid.
But then again, you did marry Tom Hayden, and then Ted Turner ...
And who can forget those god-awful striped leotards from the 80's.
So maybe your stupidity is one of those life-time achievement types of stupidity.
And the Irving Thalberg Award for life-time stupidity goes to ...

Stupid, Evil, Babies.
That and many other truths at Believe your Beliefs.

The boz version of audblog.


bozblog audio post

I think I'll make a .wav file in a couple of hours.
Any requests?
Any suggestions?
Any questions?
Any comments?
I think I'll go back to bed for a couple of hours.
Better yet, the sun is shining, I think I'll go for a walk,
but not down memory lane
or mammary lane
or Diane Lane
or ......

Whenever I see someone make an erroneous double entry in a comments section I type:
I see everything twice.
As a homage to the soldier who saw everything twice
In Catch-22.
Well, actually it is a homage to Yossarian
who parroted the soldier who saw everything twice,
as a means of getting out of flying combat missions, Yossarian, not the soldier who saw everything twice,
until the soldier who saw everything twice died.
Causing Yossarian to say ...
I see everything once!

I can listen to Tom Brokaw talk about
the waw in Iwaq
all night.
but then again I'm just a news junkie,
and a speech impediment junkie,
but I feel for Tom because
I suffer from the heartbreak of sibilant s syndrome,
but it's not actually a syndrome
but it sounds more alliterative that way.
And as Springsteen was born to run ..
I was born to alliterate.

It's a girl my lord, in a flat bed Ford
Slowing down to take a shot look at me.



Girl, lord, Ford, and I bet at night she dreams that she's Marilyn Monroe.
And sometimes, I used to dream I was Bob Dylan.
And who did you sometimes dream that you wish you were?

Is this ultra-violet or black light kinky?



Or is it just All American kinky.
It's kinky, it's kinky, everyone knows it's kinky.

My all time favorite movie line:
The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!
From The Jerk

According to The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer in a comment he made on You Made Monkey Cry I have groupies.
If I have groupies, they sure aren't very well organized, so to remedy this situation I have authorized the Franklin Mint to strike a limited number of Boz Groupie icons, suitable for framing or for display on your blog or website.



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/groupie.JPG
Shipping and handling extra.
Allow six to eight weeks for delivery.

Springsteen at two am
Greatest hits
it's the shits.
Bored in the USA.
And speaking about the shits ..
Holy shit, did it ever rain tonight.
I could have been Bruce Springsteen ..
if my parents had named me Bruce
and changed their name to Springsteen.
It's the truth!
It took me four days to hitch hike from Saginaw ..
but now it's only like an hour and a half drive
and how hick are you if Saginaw is the Big City
But the whore house is in Bay City
and so are the whores, I guess.
And the johns too.
And where's my posse
they at the whore house too?

I've got the whorehouse blues
my socks in my shoes
my tongue on the floor
my keys in my pockets
my ass out the door.

That sort of almost rhymes except for in a couple of places.
And did I ever tell you about the time ..
Yeah, I think I did
And every word of it was true
except the parts that were changed for dramatic effect.
And that's also the truth.
I am so full of the truth tonight
And it's time to put the truth on the shelf
and go lie in bed.

Oh yeah baby, let me see those ...
headphones

Just a simple little pic. I've got nothing snarky to say about it.



Just a simple little pic, and maybe I am turning over a new leaf here.
We have a hot pic of a preggo woman, an obvious kinky to the point of mondo kinky
on the fetish-ometer, and yet I haven't said one snarky thing, and it's not even close to Mother's Day, even.

I have finally gotten around to posting Kevynn's story, poem, short piece, screed, or whatever he want's to call it, on the Boz, Boobs, and the Poetry Thereof page. The life of an internet superstar is not his own, and I'm the internet superstar, not Kevynn, I've got it written on my underpants, so it must be true.

Question: Who didn't get a Bozzie?
Answer: I didn't get a Bozzie.
I mean I'm a whole lot nicer than Roman Polanski, and look what he got ...
a prison term and an Oscar!

Weird sex acts for $200, Alex
What is a blow job by a toothless prostitute on Okinawa?
Ok, yeah Alex, it was me, I was young and sexual adventurous
with a pocketful of Yankee dollars
strutting my stuff down the streets of Kadena
and there she was peeking out of the alleyway
"Hey GI, me suck you long and hard, ten dollah"
(but it could have been five or twenty, it was such a long time ago I can't be sure)
I brushed her off,
Then she smiled, that toothless smile and I was hooked.
judges???
Ding !!!!

Short skirt, long legs times three, life is good.
What can I say.



Please forgive my fetishes, as I forgive those who fetish against me.
Danke Schoen ...
I recall Central Park and all,
How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess, that's not all.
Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen,

Just another pale skinny girl with red lips and a nipple slip.



And what would the world be like without them? I shudder to think.
Actually, I shudder a lot, I think it's early stages of Tourette's Syndrome by Proxy.

I'm still alive so that must mean that the Bozzie's went off well.
No bloodshed, no tears of anguish, no fists raised in anger.
It was fun, wasn't it?
And it lasted a hell of a lot less than that other awards ceremony did, and nobody with a prosthetic nose won either, so it's all good, and I'll be interested to see when I run a spell check if I spelled prosthetic correctly, and is it true that Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins drove a manure powered car to the ceremony, or was the only manure the manure that was in the car?
hahaha
I crack my ownself up, sometimes.
And it looks like Mickey Rourke goes to the same plastic surgeon as Jan-Michael Vincent.
Yep, prosthetic was correct.
-30-

The Winners

Guess the celebrity, and no he isn't in make-up for an upcoming film roll.

Bozzies at 9pm est
Pre awards party 8:30pm est, in the chatroom

Anyone interested in a Bozzie graphic announcing the upcoming Bozzie Awards?
Thanks to Cheeks you now have that option.



You can either save it to your hard drive, or link to it here:
http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/cheeksbozzies1.jpg.

Cheeks has also designed two winner graphics.



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/cheeksbozziewinner.jpg



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/bozzie_winner_large.jpg

Great job Cheeks, but it doesn't change your Bozzie.

This is in addition to the two modifications I made on the original award graphic.



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/images/awardsmall.jpg



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/images/awardbig.jpg

I will repost this before the Bozzie Awards ceremony.

I asked a friend once what she like to do after an enema, and she said ...
go ice fishing.

My picks for tonight's other awards show.
1. A tie between Diane Lane and Selma Hayek.
And I think they should break the tie by staging a nude jello wrestling match
at my house.
2. Catherine Zeta Jones.
3. All the rest: who cares.

I was just bloglinked by on a darkling plain, a very dark, mysterious, with more than a hint of gothiness to it, site.
I feel so pale, like I have been drained of all bodily fluids.
Drenched by the moon, my skin like a marble slab
cold and lifeless.
feckless and drifting
I know not whither ...... WHITHER ???
Anyway, even though I am the original "Aw, gosh, gee shucks" All-American boy next door, I will try my best to live up to whatever I am expected to live up to, but I will not change my nickname to
Boz,The Dark Prince, But Ya Know It Kind of Has a Nice Ring To It, Doesn't It, of Castle Doom
Or will I?

The hauntingly beautiful and awkwardly sensuous Desdemona Descartes
The recently crowned
Miss Bozzie for 2003



All that and a bag of chips tonight at 9pm EST
At the first and most likely last Bozzie Awards Extravaganza

I could tell you how real life has been smacking me around today, but not yet, I have to cover the bird cage for the night.
The birds, by the way, hate my guts, and they hate my guts to the nth degree when I take them out to clean their cage.
Gaby tries to escape, and she has made it on the lam several times, as far as the kitchen and even the bedroom.
Keetsie, the rat bastard, except she is a female, so she would probably be the rat bitch, bites down on my finger and will not let go, and it really hurts too.
Then there is Chello, the bully of the bunch except when confronted, then she goes into her best "duck and cover and ...
Jesus Christ, What Am I Doing?
I'm writing about birds!
Somebody please kill me, and make it long and painful.
Birds!!!!
Birds????
Adult diapers are more interesting than birds.
Tom Cruise movies are more interesting than birds.
The National Geographic Channel is more interesting than birds, unless it is a show about birds.
The Byrds are more interesting than birds.
Turn Turn Turn ... si
tern tern tern ... no
Ugh, a swift kick to the gut and I am out of here.

I am very pleased with myself. Instead of going back to bed I went for a walk, and then I went to the store and bought some vitamins, and now I can watch the hockey game. Go, Wings, Go.
Do you think I'll be ready for The Twelve Months of Boz 2004 calendar due out this fall?

Here it is almost noon, and I've just woke up for the third time today, and I am still so sleepy that if I don't do something I will probably go back to bed, and this is all because a friend coerced me into staying up until 3:15am last night/this morning, and of course even though I went to bed at 3:15, as per usual it took me at least another half hour to get to sleep, and you know I really feel sorry for all you people who have normal sleeping habits, you miss out on so much, you miss the girls gone wild infomercials, and just how do they make their tits go all blurry like that, at first I thought it was my eyesight, but even after I put my glasses on and stood two inches from the screen they were still blurry, and yes I guess I did do it till I needed glasses, and really what kind of person would flash their tits for Snoop Doggie Snoopy Dogg, that isn't even 15 minutes of fame, that's more like a flash, get if flash, in the pan type of thing.
I think Kreskin is trying to hyp-MO-tize me into going back to sleep, and if Kreskin ever makes a girls gone wild infomercial I am there, because with his amazing mental powers I am sure Kreskin could stop the tits from getting all blurry.

Here's a triple play for you tonight.
Leonard Cohen, The Best of
Echo, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Joni Mitchell, Hits
Compare, contrast, and discuss.
Test on Monday.

It's almost midnight in the eastern time zone, and all the kiddies should be in bed, or drunk, by now.
So let's get a bit kinky, you don't mind do ya, why of course you don't
Woman on the rack ... did boz say RACK
Yikes !!!!!



Woman on the rack, slightly gothic, slightly chubby, but just slightly, nothing wrong with that, and I think she is only pretending to be asleep.
Because when I am asleep my tongue usually hangs out and there's a puddle of drool under my cheek.
Or so I have been told.

Just as goth as she wants to be.



Just as gothy as she needs to be, and if I were Leonard Cohen, I think I could write a song about her.
But don't make me do it.

Alicia Witt, celebity tits, celeberity tats, two for the price of one.
America, ya gotta love it.



I'll take celebrity tits for $1000 Alex

Shit,
I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of all this Bozzie stuff.
This is now a Bozzie free blog until whatever time I get up on Sunday.
I need some good old fashioned celebrity breasts.

Designed by CJ, who has probably done more actual work than I have on The Bozzies
CJ has also designed
The Bozzie Press Packet.

In a reply to a post on Fat Free Milk
Amy the Choppa Chick
came up with a good idea (???)
concerning a T-shirt exchange among bloggers
Talk to me!

I am debating here. At the local Dollar Store they have Beanie Babies with all the Rocky and Bullwinkle characters.
They have Natasha, and Fearless Leader, and Boris and Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Plus Dudley DoRight, Mr Peabody, Sherman, and some others that I don't remember.
Should I get one, and if I were to get one, which one would suit me?



But you have to remember that even though it's a Dollar Store
They cost two dollars each. (Oh, the humanity)
For you Brits that would be about 1£ plus a little bit.
Why am I so tired

Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies. Two Days Till The Bozzies.
I am getting so giddy. Somebody please bitch slap me.

A comment from Snarfy's Snarky's blog.
"Oh dear lord - is that THE Kevynn Malone and THE Boz on MY CRAPPY LITTLE BLOG?
I'm getting teary. Oh the pressure. Its like a celebrity sighting in my backyard.
Posted By: snarky 3/20/2003 8:29:51 PM "


Now that is the kind of respect I've been looking for all along.
But the Kevynn Malone part kind of taints it a bit.

Note to self:
Fix the smilies in my comments section.
Any suggestions?

Has anyone noticed all the hot news babes?
I want to have Ashley Banfield's babies!

Does anyone know this snarky person?
And are they worthy of a Bozzie
And is snarky some kind of British slang for something perverted?
Cause we don't need no stinkin' perversions.
Wait a second ..
Perversions are good things, aren't they?
Well, should there be a snarkaliscious Bozzie

Potpourri for $500 Alex
I started my walking for exercise today. I walked for 30 minutes which is about a mile and a half.
Ok now, I am serious about it this time.
I'm going to keep track of how much I walk, and how much weight I lose and all that kind of stuff.
I mean it, this time.
In other news ..
How come no one has ever sang this song to me while giving me a lap dance?

I'm going grocery shopping in a few minutes.
Sirloin Tip steak $1.99 a lb.
Russet Potatoes 15lb for $1.99
2 liter Pepsi $0.59 each
Wheat Bread $0.79 a loaf
No sweets, re-starting my diet, must lose 29 lbs.
I will start walking 30 minutes a day, later today.
I need to trim my nails.
I have to stop laughing about the cable news anchor, Brian Williams of MSNBC, who had the hiccups and couldn't stop giggling like a schoolgirl while trying to do his best anchor face when reporting the opening moments of the war.

Can this be true?

This is a war free blog.
And I plan on keeping it that way.
So come on in, just leave it at the door.

Non Bozzie winning Blogs, Journals, Diaries, etc.

A Shrine to Sally Fields, We Love You, We Really Love you
Fat, the Neglected Food Group
Cats Are People Too
Boz, The Man, The Myth, The Misunderstood
Does This Blog Stop in Happytown?
Stick A Fork in Me, I'm Fun
Donald and Daffy, Ducks in Crisis
Betty and Veronica, Out of the Closet at Last
Genius is My Middle Name, The Chuck Woolery Story
High School, and Other Ways to Greet Your School
A Bosco Drinker in a Yoo-Hoo World

A few people have been pestering me about revealing a winner or two to them on the sly.
No way Sherlock.
But ....
Against my better judgement I will give you a sneak peak at what the actual Bozzie looks like.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present
The Bozzie
as designed by CJ of honeysideup.

When I was nineteen years old and hitchhiking in Biloxi Mississippi, a guy in a pink Mustang gave me a lift. Does that count as a homosexual experience?
Nothing happened, but he did give me a beer, I think it was a Jax, in a can.
That was a Jax in a can.
Not a Jack in the can.
Is everything always about sex with you people?

The phenomena of Tiny Dancer continues. I was watching the movie Almost Famous earlier today and in the bus scene when they all spontaneously break into Tiny Dancer it sent chills up my spine, and now my friends, just like you, the song Tiny Dancer is running through my brain and coursing through my veins. Arrivederci Disco Duck, long live Tiny Dancer, it is bigger than all of us.
OK, it didn't really send chills up my spine, but I was trying to get on a roll, and it seemed like the thing to say.
But the rest of what I said is true, mostly.

There will be a Pre-Bozzie Party starting about 8:30PM EST Sunday night in the new Bravenet Chatroom that I just added to my blog. Everyone is welcome.
The party will continue after The Bozzies have been posted.
It will give you a chance to ream me a new one, if that is your pleasure.

The results are in, the votes have been tabulated.
The winners of the 2003 Bozzies have been selected.
Sunday night is such a long way off
And it's driving me crazy not to be able to tell anyone.
I just hope no one catches me in a moment of weakness.
OK OK OK
Maybe just one ....
The Bozzie for the best blog of the year goes to ...
%$*&#!*&^%++^&
Damn, what happened
Blogger ate part of my post
So sad, too bad.

For all you really really really really non-techies check out cacoa pulp's comment section.
Cheeks gives an explanation on how to post the Bozzie thingie.

If you had a sex change operation what would you pick for your new first name?
I'm kind of fond of Daphne, but that's just me.

Natalie Portman, looking very un-Queen Amidildo like.



Natalie Portman, looking very un-Queen Amidildo like, or whatever the hell she tried to call herself in Star Trek: Send in the Clowns.
I'd hit her, but it looks like she'd probably hit back.

Anyone interested in a Bozzie graphic announcing the upcoming Bozzie Awards?
Thanks to Cheeks you now have that option.



You can either save it to your hard drive, or link to it here:
http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/cheeksbozzies1.jpg.

Cheeks has also designed two winner graphics.



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/cheeksbozziewinner.jpg



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/bozzie_winner_large.jpg

Great job Cheeks, but it doesn't change your Bozzie.

This is in addition to the two modifications I made on the original award graphic.



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/images/awardsmall.jpg



http://mywebpage.netscape.com/bozennui/images/awardbig.jpg

I will repost this following the Bozzie Awards ceremony.

When I was four years old, after I had learned the alphabet, but net yet learned to read, I was puzzled as to why there were only 26 letters. I mean why not 50, or 150, or a bazillion? So I took it on myself to change it. I envisioned an alphabet with thousands of new letters. I figured once I got the ball rolling that others, more learned than myself, would see the wisdom of an expanded alphabet.
And thus there became ...
Leonard,
the 27th letter of the alphabet.
I wish I could show you the symbol for Leonard, but when today's keyboards were designed the expanded alphabet was not taken into consideration.
I guess you could best describe the symbol for Leonard as an R with the little do-hickey right leg moved over a skoosh to the right.



Can you imagine my parent's pride as I recited the new expanded alphabet!
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p
q,r,s,t,u,v,
w,x,y,z, and Leonard!!!!
I got a lot of blank stares and rolled eyes when I was a kid.

CJ from HoneySideUP wrote a poem in celebration of The Bozzies.

Bozzie Awards
For the Bozzie Awards I wrote....


The Bozzie awards are takin' place soon
get on the bandwagon and shoot for the moon
and I'm not talkin' about weapons of any sorts
I'm talkin' about bloggin' and giggles and snorts
All the posts we make and the laughs we get
everyone had a chance without throwin' a fit
the First Annual Bozzie Awards is gonna be a gala event
well at least I think that's how it's meant
Ladies on the left and Gents on the right
no pushin' or shovin' or fightin' tonight
after Boz so graciously treats us all to dinner
someone will step forward to announce the winner
just who will win the prestigious award from Boz
for the bloggin' we did and all the guffaws
only time will tell and we wait for that day
clean off your computer screen without delay
By no means should anyone become upset
when Boz announces by video with sincere regret
that he can't be there, as hard as it might be to digest
he somehow got stuck in Anna Nicole's voluptuous chest
How he got there we'll probably never find out
but sometime next year without any doubt
they'll be a movie, and it won't be a bore
"BOZ LOST IN CLEAVAGE", definitely hard-core

Junk Celebrities
Who are they, and why do we need them?
Kelly Osbourne, Anna Nicole Smith, Melissa Rivers, the british twerp from American Idol.
There must be others.
Anyone???

Robin Tunney, one of my favorite unknown actresses.



Robin Tunney, sporting the arch-typical "thirteen year old boy with tits" look.

Questions, we get questions, we get lots and lots of questions.
AltSuperstore queries:

At what point did you realize you were a Blog Celebrity?
Did you ever in your wildest dreams realize it would turn into all THIS?

I think I first noticed my blog celebrity status when I realized I didn't have to make bogus posts in my comments section and on my zonkboard, because real people were actually doing it.
All THIS and a bag of chips.

Anymore questions??

I am really pleased with how The Bozzies are shaping up. I have about half of them completed, and the only problem I have encountered so far is I keep going back to make them more vicious personal. If I were to hazard a guess on who would be most upset with their award I would say Cheeks, but I haven't written lucy's or Kevynn's yet.
or Billy's !!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone.
This is the only thing green I have to wear.



I think we should start a new St. Patrick's Day tradition.
Instead of the "Wearing of the Green."
It should be the "Flashing of the Green."

If anyone would like to create a new Bozzie award graphic, be my guest.
Why should I do all the work?
Oh yeah, it's my award, and I have been kind of an asshole pointing that out to everyone, haven't I?
Suit yourself.

What gives you the most pleasure?
a. Writing a post.
b. Reading a post.
c. Reading a comment on your blog.
d. Replying to a comment on your blog.
e. Reading a comment on someone else's blog.
f. Making a comment on someone else's blog.
g. Masturbation.

My two grandfathers

When my one grandfather was a teenager sometime around 1915 he left Tennessee to go out west to Texas or Oklahoma to become a cowboy, with a cowboy hat, and a cowboy suit, and a cowboy gun and a cowboy horse.
Everything went pretty good until he accidently shot his cowboy horse with his cowboy gun, that made him decide to go back to Tennessee and run off and marry my grandmother who was only 14 at the time.

My other grandfather was married twice. When his first wife died he married my grandmother. Between his two families he had about 15 or 16 children that lived. He moved to Detroit in the late 20's and owned a small coal and ice business. When the depression hit he still had 8 or 9 children living at home and he had to find new ways to put food on the table. On his own he started a numbers operation, a strictly nickel and dime operation that ended when a car load of Detroit Police detectives burst in one night and put the fear of god into him, not because he was running a numbers game, but because they weren't getting a kickback.
Who knows, if he had paid the kickback,
Maybe today I would be making offers that you couldn't refuse.
And maybe I am anyway.

Part of a post from Shanti's blog ...
i watched mulholland drive, which is code for wasted two and a half hours of my life.
Comment #1
mulholland falls is not a waste of time. It stars jennifer connelly's tits.
Comment #2 AKA My Comment
Unfortunately it also stars her eyebrows.
I even crack myself up sometimes.

Jennifer Connelly, her tits.



Jennifer Connelly, her eyebrows.



Jennifer Connelly, her tits, her eyebrows, both a bit on the mondo extreme side.

Gram Parsons, Townes Van Zandt, and John Hiatt, how's that for a Sunday night triple play to put a twang back in froggie's magic twanger.

I have been working on The Bozzie's today, and so far eight awards have been decided, the two toughest selections have been Most Likely to Castrate, Online and Most Likely to Be Castrated, Online.

I have noticed that a number of bloggers are going through bloggers block, and the frustration that accompanies it. I can see their problem. When your blog is based on ideas, and you run out of ideas, it's tough.
Luckily for me, and not so luckily for you, my blog isn't based on ideas, it is based on filling up space, sort of like I am doing now.
It's amazing how much you can actually write when you write about nothing.
It made Jerry Seinfeld rich and famous way beyond what his ability merited,
and it is making me an internet idiot savant, or something like that, at least in my own mind, maybe.
I bleed for you, and your bloggers block.
I bleed for you, but I keep a box of band-aids handy just for occasions like this.

Various crapola
or should that be crapolas, plural.
None of my images are showing up, so NetscapeWepage must be down, just a matter of time people don't get all spooked on me.
I have added a couple more links:
Jenny From The Blog.
and
Big Cat.
Also, I have joined a Bettie Page Fan Listing Webpage or whatever that I found at Jenny's (from the blog) site.
One last thing:
There seems to be an epidemic of poems being written about me and boobs, not my boobs, boobs in general and lucy's in particular, and as soon as Netscape is back up I will link to a page where you can view all the poems in one place,
and don't be discouraged at trying your hand at writing a poem about boz, boobs are optional, not my boobs, but boobs in general and lucy's in particular.

The Bozzie's have made Google, can the Armageddon be far behind?
The Armageddon has made The Bozzie's can Google be far behind?
Is Google The Armageddon, can The Bozzie's be far behind?
These, and many other questions answered on the next edition of ...
The Armageddon, not just for Google anymore.

Bumping this post from yesterday up ....

20 Questions
Go ahead, ask me twenty questions, and I promise to answer them all,
most of them honestly.
I don't mean one person has to ask all twenty questions, one or two per person would suffice.
And if any of you happen to put a 20 Questions on your site, you can be sure I would do an Alex Trebek, except he doesn't ask questions, does he, he answers them, doesn't he.
Life was so much simpler before television, not that I would know what that would be like, because I am not that old.
But I did spend a week at my grandparents house and they didn't have a television, or a radio, or a telephone, and they wouldn't let me go outside because they lived in a rough neighborhood, so I spent a lot of time in the bathroom.

I think Jennifer Tilly is so cool.



I think Jennifer Tilly is so cool, and I guess she doesn't swallow.

Let's see I have added stacey to the Bozzie guest list, even though she hasn't requested, but I figure 30 years of Billy and she is due something, if not a Bozzie maybe a Nobel Prize in diplomacy. I have also added Jenny From The Blog, who I don't really know, but she wrote a nifty poem about me and boobs, and that can't be all bad, can it. I may have to give her a generic Bozzie, you know the kind, this Bozzie goes to Jenny for her cute smile and nice personality, but she said she wanted one, and if it gets The Word, According to Boz out there, it's all that and a bag of chips to me, see I know hip-hop, and I am getting so confused, because this sentence has meandered out of control, so I'll stop.
And rosa if you are with-in the sound of my voice, let me know
Bozzie, yes or no?

Did anyone notice, or care, about the connection in the Boo Radley and Perry Smith post?
Boo Radley was a character in To Kill a Mockingbird written by Harper Lee.
Perry Smith was one of the murderer's in Truman Capote's book In Cold Blood.
Harper Lee and Truman Capote were childhood friends back in Mississippi, or Alabama, or whatever the fook southern state they were childhood friends in, and ....
and this is the kicker
The character of Dill, the little four eyed geek who was visiting relatives for the summer and became Scout and Jem's friend, in To Kill a Mockingbird was based on ..... Truman Capote!!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
I rest my case.

I was told that I sounded like death, or god, or something, by Shanti in the .wav file I posted. I take it that this as a good thing.
But I wonder how death and god feel about it?
Or for that matter something.

It is a mahhh-ve-lous day outside, as I give my props to Billy "One Third of the Axis of Evil" Crystal as he gives his props to Fernando Lamas and Ricardo Montelban, so what am I doing here, and I don't mean in the meta-physical why do I exist sense, but that is an interesting sense, I just mean what am I doing here on such a marvelous day, when I could be out playing baseball with my friends, or hanging around the Dairy Queen waiting for the wind off of Lake Huron to lift up the girl's skirts to see what day of the week it is, or hanging out with Wesley, my bad influence, and smoking unfiltered Lucky Strikes behind his garage, and the last that I heard was after coming out of his drug induced haze, Wesley went on to become a butcher, or more precisely a meat cutter, because there is a difference, and dollars to doughnuts I bet he still smokes unfiltered Lucky Strikes.
So while it may be true that in spring a young mans fancy turns to love,
An old man's fancy turns to being a young man again
even if it isn't quite spring
and even if he is not really all that old
I think I'll shower and shave, go buy a pack of unfiltered Lucky's, and look for a garage to go smoke them behind.
I wonder if the Dairy Queen has opened for the season yet?

Two things this morning.
HaloScam is down again and I laugh at your gullibility.
And
I have noticed that a lot of you like to drink to excess, and does this have anything to do with me, the drinking part, not the HaloScam part.

I'm half asleep, and I just woke up, so without further adieu
here is Kevynn Malone's guest post.

Edward James Olmos Scissor Hands…

I suck sometimes. Writing sucks. Lemons suck. Vacuum cleaners suck. I can put off things like a motherfucker. Vicodin sucks. I hate that crap. Makes my stomach all queasy. You feel like you want to go to sleep, but cant. I hate pills. I hate taking aspirin, I just figure by the time the stuff is supposed to work, you’ve probably already forgotten that you took it anyway. I don’t like that crap in my body anyway. But don’t listen to me. Remember – I’m the one who drinks more than yo’ mama.

Do you remember Webster, the TV series with Emmanuel Lewis? The Different Strokes rip-off? Except that he didn’t have an older brother and a crazy-ass older sister that you know secretly wanted Willis? You know she would’ve put the moves on him if Janet Jackson weren’t all deep into the Drummond house shit. Anyway, what bugged me about Webster was that he didn’t have an independent bone in his little body. I remember where Arnold and Willis came from. They were poor and their parent’s died somehow. But little Webster was a lap dog. He never really game his foster parents any shit. He acted…scared. He had a big football player as his foster father and a dyke-y lookin’ foster mother who he always called “Maam”. What was that all about? How come he had to call the guy by his first name and the lady “Maam?” Explain this to me, please.


God Damn. That’s all that I have to say right now. That’s it. 60, one of my cats is to my left. Looking very Charlie Chan right now. I found her on the freeway. Poor cat. Somebody tossed her because she was pregnant. Bastards.

My grandmother’s name was “Bubba”. She wasn’t fat. My father just couldn’t pronounce “Mother” when he was young. So she was “Bubba” until she died. Bubba was the only grandparent that I knew of mine. Her husband, my grandfather – died before I was born. From what I’ve heard, he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Really low key. He had a limp from Polio. Was a woodshop teacher, architect, and a high school principal. My grandmother was a hard-core, bible thumpin’ Irish, Baptist and ran the show. My grandmother was a Latin and an English teacher.

My mother’s father, I’ve heard, wrote some books on engineering out in Vietnam. He died before I was born. My grandmother on that side died maybe a couple of years ago. I never met her. Never spoke to her. My mother’s never been back since she left, and I never had the money to go to Vietnam, so that’s that. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’ve never been to Vietnam, though. They’d probably stone me for being a half-bastard gook. I don’t have the slanted eyes. That sucks that I don’t, because then I wouldn’t have got in trouble all of those times in Economics in my senior year. Gooks never get blamed for falling asleep in class.

I really would’ve liked to have the opportunity to hang out with all of my grandparents. Though, I couldn’t really picture them all hanging out with each other. One set never spoke English. One Grandmother would’ve tried to recruit the heathens to her religion, and one grandmother would’ve eaten the other’s pets. Two wrote. That’s nice. They would’ve hated my writing. I write like a retarded Walrus would write like. What does a retarded Walrus write like? This. They all sounded like nice people. I did know my bible-thumpin’ grandmother for a little bit. I think that she died when I was five. I remember her making hamburgers, and then answering the phone and giving the responsibility to my brother. That made me jealous, the fucker. I remember her moving to California to live with us after she broke her hip. She hid Easter presents in her closet. But it was all bible stuff, so it didn’t excite me much. She taught me how to read when I was in pre-school. That was something that I’ll forever be thankful for. Dick and Jane was first book. Yup, Penis and Jane. She’d be proud of me. Appalled at my grammar, spelling, syntax…and my frequent use of the word, penis. I remember Bubba’s funeral. That was sad. I remember finding all the crying grown ups interesting and wondering if I should feel guilty because I wasn’t. ( Crying, not interesting. )

This is a ramble, I know. All that I know is that I would’ve liked to know my grandparent’s more. If only to answer all my questions about my parents. Why didn’t they stop the wedding? I would have. How could you pass up the opportunity to change history? To make sure another Viet-ler wasn’t born? It never would have worked, though. Me and the grandparents. Me and parents don’t work. Me and girlfriends don’t work. Me and friends work. Me and pets work. Houseplants and me work. Me and me? Ummm…I don’t know yet. I can’t deal with the family stuff. I don’t know much about it. I like other people’s families. They love me. I love them. They’re always cool. Everything’s fine. If it isn’t? I leave. Good deal.

I like being by myself. I’m not agoraphobic much. I used to hate visitors. But, I write a lot less now, so it doesn’t matter. And now I live with my girlfriend, so there’s no such thing as private time anymore. The best thing that you can do for me, folks…is to give me a crap load of money and read all of my shit. Buy whatever I’m selling, listen to what I’m saying. Do it. Because you never know what I might say. Everything about me is like a stray dog that you might try to pet. You’ll end up two ways. Full of love and better for the experience, or bleeding, and with your ears ringing.

Lick, Lick.
Ruff! Ruff!

I love Bubba.

Thanks Kevynn, it was worth the wait, and saved you a bitch slapping from the mighty #117.
I hate when he writes good stuff like that,
and I envy him him his yoot
and his half gookness
and his hippie girlfriend
and his Bubba Malone, and didn't Bubba Malone used to play 3rd Base for the Cleveland Indians back in the 50's?
Or maybe the Ho Chi Minh City Gooks back in the 90's?
because my Bubba Malone was half crazy, well on her way to being full crazy
and his isn't much agoraphobia, which is cute, compared to my much agoraphobia, which is treatable, so it isn't a problem anymore, but I bring it up anyway as a lame cry for pity and sympathy
and peace, love and understanding,
and what's so funny about that
Mr. Costello?
I am dizzy.
I AM BOX, I mean BOZ
I am going back to bed.
Forgive them Je-sus (Hay-Zeus) for they no not what they're doing,
BABY!!!

One of my evil pleasures left over from my yoot are songs by the Lovin' Spoonful.
Hey, what am I apologizing for, they're in the Rock&Roll Hall of Fame, and did you notice how I said yoot instead of youth, that was me doing Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny.
Along with the Rolling Stones the Spoonful were the first band to wear regular clothes while performing and not matching outfits, also, John Sebastian, the leader of the group, popularized long sideburns back in the sixties, so if any of you have seen pics of your dad with long sideburns, blame John Sebastian. John Sebastian also did the Welcome Back Kotter theme and is currently the co-host of the Time-Life Folk Music Collection infomercial, but enough about them. Sit back and listen to ...

Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?
by the Lovin Spoonful

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It's not often easy, and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Did you ever have to finally decide?
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes, and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes there's one with deep blue eyes, cute as a bunny
With hair down to here, and plenty of money
And just when you think she's that one in the world
Your heart gets stolen by some mousy little girl
And then you know you better make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It's not often easy, and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her
And then you get distracted by her older sister
When in walks her father and takes you in line
And says "Better go home, son, and make up your mind."
Then you bet you'd better finally decide!
And say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes, and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Do I remind you of Kasey Kasem?

Sorry about the hold-up, but I've had to get all Boo Radley on Kevynn.
He came up with the idea of us doing a guest post on each other's blog.
The only problem is he came up with the idea on Tuesday to be posted on Wednesday.
And either this is Friday, or I have over-medicated again, and still no post from Kevynn, even though I sent him my post on Wednesday, and say, wasn't Wednesday the day they were supposed to be posted in the first place?
Kevynn has a broken ankle, so I will cut him some slack.
Kevynn took a little too much vicodin the other day .. a little more slack.
Kevynn is a very charming fellow ... a touch more slack,
But a broken ankle, too much vic, and a gigolo load of charm doesn't feed the bulldog.
And as Perry Smith said to the executioner
"nice day for a hanging"
SNAP-PPPPPPPPPPPPP
Time to feed the bulldog Kevynn.
hahahahaha

What are the Bozzies?
Click the linkie and find out, or not.
It's up to you, no pressure ..
Well???
Suit yourself.

Kenny Not The Boz
Don't be fooled by the nick that I got
I'm still, I'm still Kenny not the boz
Used to get a few hits now I get a lot
No matter where I go I know where I came from
(And it's not this blog)
Don't be fooled by the nick that I got
I'm still, I'm still Kenny not the boz
Used to get a few hits now I get a lot
No matter where I go I know where I came from
(And it's not this blog)

Happy Birthday Albert Einstein, because without you we wouldn't know who our relatives are, and that would make birthdays and holidays even more difficult than they already are.

Say goodnight Gracie.
Say goodnight Dick.
Goodnight David.
Goodnight Chet.
Goodnight Mrs. Calabash wherever you are.
Goodnight everybody and may gah bleah.
And Hamlet must have been gay to pass up his shot at sweet Ophelia, I mean her name alone is enough to give a straight man a stiffy, and probably most gay men too.
Doreen is that you?
(waving at traffic, like the idiot savant who stands on the curb with the transistor radio that doesn't work)
Goodnight everyone, and don't forget ....
THE BOZZIE'S

Fetishes, I mean real fetishes, not the goof around kind that I talk about in here, and do I have the guts to admit to them, not only in here, but to myself.
The whole red head experience, hair, freckles and puffies, or any part thereof.
Pretty girls in glasses, no, more than just pretty, sexy girls, ok, sexy women in glasses.
Thin, almost to the point of anorexic women.
But am I getting away from fetishes and in to preferences?
Gothic girls, I mean women.
The color black.
Stockings and garter belts, and I never thought it would come to that.
I'm starting to weird myself out now.
Bondage, yikes!!!
Yeah, this is getting to be more than fetishes, it is more turn-ons, and some extreme turn-ons.
Women that look like 13 year old boys with tits .. WHAT!!!!!!!!
Women with extremely short hair.
Tattoo's and piercing's .. yawn-nnnnnn, who isn't or doesn't.
The Bettie Page experience.
Watching naked women sleep ... ummm I think I'd better quit for now.

Boozie Bozzie Update
The Bozzie's will be awarded on March 23, 2003 in direct competition with the Oscars.
I so love a challenge.
For those of you not familiar with The Bozzie's ..
take a look around, I've been writing about them all friggin' day,
And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Umm ..
You people could publicize the upcoming First Anuual Bozzie Awards on your blogs.
It wouldn't offend me.
It might even amuse me.

T-Rex Great Hits 1972-1977, The A-Sides
The Guess Who Collection
Anyone have a problem with that?
I didn't think so ... punks.

I have changed my bloglinker to random selection, now everyone gets a chance to be #1 in my heart on my link list.
I am BOZ.
Rejoice with me.

Bozzie Update



There will be a First Annual Bozzie Awards.
Anyone else who is interested just let me know.
Here
There
or Wherever.

Since we, we meaning me, have a couple of British readers I thought it would be nice to welcome them by posting a pic of one two of my favorite British Celebrity Breasts.
Late from Coronation Street Tracy "Ba-Boom" Shaw.



Tracy "Ba-Boom" Shaw, she's no Vera Duckworth, or Vera Miles, or Vera Ruba Ralston, but she is
Vera Vera Vera
Celebrity Breasted.

THE BOZZIES



So far four people have shown an interest in The Bozzie Awards. I have a set number of people in mind that have to be interested before I will go forwards with the awards.
Being interested greatly increases the odds of you winning a Bozzie.
Being interested ensures you of winning a Bozzie
and the honor of posting the coveted



on your blog.

Jeepers, Ms. Peepers, is it that time again.
I think I will go to bed and fantasize that I am stranded on a desert island with the female members of
S Club Seven



Names??
They have names?
Do they really need names?
How about Bambi, Tina, Tiffany, and Sluggo?

Holy fucking shit, and pardon my French, or should I say Dutch, or whatever they speak in Holland.
My work here is done.
I have been linked to by a dutch porn site.
I am almost speechless.
I am almost in hog heaven.
I am almost not worthy.
I will almost be impossible to live with now.
Where are all the people who said I would never amount to anything at now?
I would like to thank the members of the academy for this award ...
members heheheheheh.

Oh-oh, Friday the 13th is on a Thursday this month, hide the cat
and spank your monkey!

The First Annual Bozzie Awards?
yes?
no?
who cares?
leave me alone, you're scaring me?
(and boy how many times have I heard that in my lifetime!)
Work with me people I need your feedback.

It has been a good day in the Land of Blog, my face hurts from laughing so much. You people are too good to me, no really you are, if I had a say in it you'd all be getting Bloggies, but I don't, so you won't, so sad, too bad, and don't get me started on Blog Awards ...
again.

Good lord, Amy Choppa mopped the floor with my mangy carcass, but I shall not be denied, it may take a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, but I will exact my revenge. Notice how I didn't make any excuses, but I could have. She said it was Scrabble, but it was a bastardization of Scrabble called Literati.
Shaking my fist and muttering to myself.
Curse you Amy, you'll get yours.
Can you tell that I hate to lose?

I was able to download Panic In Detroit from Kazaa Lite today, and let me tell you something Sherlock, it is Bowie at his androgynous best. So it looks like I will be compiling a CD of Androgynous Rock of the early 70's, when Androgyny ran rampant.
David Bowie
Lou Reed
T Rex
Roxy Music
The Modern Lovers
Anyone else?

I've added a few more links, and they are all funny to the point of being almost, but not quite, tragically hip funny. Check out the last five links on my list, except don't check out Friends of Fat Free Ennui that was Kevynn's idea and I have a feeling it will soon be going the way of Superfluous Tube Socks, which was my idea.

I have a feeling I am going to get my ass kicked at Scrabble® tonight by Amy Choppa, but that's ok, I have needed my comeuppance handed to me on a platter for a long time.

Here is a link specifically for ATLSuperstar as a means to help quench her thirst for nice natural rackage. The rest of you plebeians may also peruse said link, but at your own risk.
Aside to Cheeks ...
No wanking, at least not in here.

Shanti is looking for a new title for her blog. I offered her a variation on mine, Ennui: It's Not Just For Lunch Anymore, she is considering, but 'ya know, that got me to thinking about a new name for my blog, and if I ever do decide to change the name I think I will call it ..
The Hot Dog Blog: 10% Meat, 90% Filler, With Liberal Amounts of Rat Shit Mixed In.
I'll be up in a minute Shalom, and don't forget what you promised.
Goodnight everyone.

It looks like Kevynn Free Milk Fat will be doing a guest post on The Grand Ennui tomorrow, hey, the Grand Ennui, that's me, and I will be repaying in kind on Milk: It's Not Just Fat Free Anymore.

All The Young Dudes
Written by David Bowie
Performed by Mott the Hoople

Well Billy rapped all night about his suicide
Said he'd kick it in the head when he was 25
Speed jive, don't want to stay alive when you're 25
And Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks and Sparks
And Freddie's got spots from ripping off the stars from his face
Funky little boat race

The television man is crazy, saying we're juvenile delinquent wrecks
Oh man - I need T.V.? When I got T. Rex?
Oh, brother, you guessed - I'm a dude now

All the young dudes - carry the news
Boogaloo dudes - carry the news
All the young dudes - carry the news
Boogaloo dudes - carry the news

Billy's looking sweet 'cos he dresses like a queen
But he can kick like a mule - it's a real mean team
But we can love, oh yes, we can love
And my brother's back at home with his Beatles and his Stones
He never got it off with that revolution stuff
What a drag - too many snags

Well I drunk a lot of wine and I'm feeling fine
I gotta raise some cat to bed
Oh, man - is that concrete all around, or is it in my head?
Brother, I'm a dude now...

All the young dudes - carry the news
Boogaloo dudes - carry the news
All the young dudes - carry the news
Boogaloo dudes - carry the news

repeat chorus
repeat chorus

You had to know that was coming, didn't you,?
It's up next,
and if I shed a tear, dont worry
It's only for my long lost youth
and things that never were
or never could have been.
I'm a Dude now ......

How come whenever I think of David Bowie
I am reminded of 1972
and groups of pasty skinned white boys
chain smoking Winston Light 100's
after dark in the parking lot
posing for each other
ain't testosterone a bastard
ain't androgyny a bitch
I guess.

I need to find some appropriate CD's to suit my mood for tonight.
Doors and the Airplane?
The Who?
The Kinks?
I know!
David Bowie, yeah, too bad Panic In Detroit isn't on his greatest hits compilation.
Bowie it is.
Don't be alarmed if I start singing along.
Oh yeah, found a Mott the Hoople greatest hits CD too.
I defy anyone to find a more angst ridden tune than All The Young Dudes, and Bowie wrote it, so it fits with the Bowie theme.
Bowie-palooza
Bowie-mania
Bowie-fest
17 under the B
Bingo-oooooo

Thorry Thora, I mean sorry Thora, but birthday or not they want proof of your rack.
The hauntingly beautiful Ms. Birch, full body shot.



Thora's rack, up close and personal.



Of course Thora, we know you are an actress, a serious actress, but you have some serious rackage there, no denying it.