My goal is to make everyone feel like they have walked in on the middle of the movie.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
It has been suggested by a non-Angel that the soul purpose of the
ANGEL OF THE MONTH competition is as a way for me to acquire scantily clad pics of My Dear Sweet Angels.
Of course that isn't true ...
Well, yeah it is.
But don't forget there are yet to be determined
Angel cacoa has pointed out to me that the Angels are getting bored just sitting around flipping their hair and looking sexy, so I have decided on a little competition to ease the boredom until that first big Angel Assignment comes in.
Soooooooo, here it is ...
ANGEL OF THE MONTH, MAY 2003 All Angels interested in becoming Angel of the Month for May 2003 should either leave a comment or send me an email telling what they would do to become ...
ANGEL OF THE MONTH, MAY 2003 All entries will be posted. Be creative ...
Text, graphics, wav files, whatever, let your imagination be your guide.
All entries due by 12 noon EDT Saturday May 3rd.
Winner to be announced 8 PM EDT Sunday May 4th.
Of course there will be prizes.
Angel applications are still being in accepted for all you Angel Wannabes.
Would anyone ever admit to watching The View. I mean now that they've fired the Chinese chick I can't even watch it with the sound turned down, and I'm sure Star Jones buys all her shoes from Payless, and I don't often use the "c" word, but it would be hard to choose between Babara Walters, Meredith Viera, and Joy Behar as to who is the biggest of the big of the "c" words on the show.
I would never have impure thoughts about any of them, but that Star does have a twinkle in her eye, doesn't she.
I'm not the biggest fan of 80's cult singer Alex Chilton, but I can get jiggy with him.
I don't put him up there with Lou Reed or Nick Lowe, but in the realm of 80's cult singers he would probably be in the top 25, somewhere between John Cale and John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith,
and as Nick Lowe would say ..
I'm checking the meat in the heart of the city.
Any Alex Chilton moments?
And if you've never seen the boz get jiggy, well pshaw on ya'll, cause I do a copacetic jiggy with the top down ...
It's the little things, and I think it is about time I changed the cd's on my cd player, a man can only take so much Johnny Cash singing
Hello, my name is Sue, how do you do, and you're gonna die.
Ok, here's the dream I had. I dreamed that I was in the air force, college or in prison, and I was in the shower room, but I didn't have any soap, toothpaste, shampoo, shaving cream or a razor, imagine my embarrassment. That's when I woke up and I had to go take a whiz.
Ok, here's something, do women take whizzes or is that just a guy thing. I mean I know they urinate, duh, but do chicks have any special piss word that they use. I'll understand if it is a secret and can't be revealed in mixed company, I don't want to breach any taboos or anything, I'm just curious, it's not a water sport or golden shower kind of thing, I mean I'm not going to get off on it if you tell me, well .... um, ahhh, hmmm,
I just noticed something. In the preceding post the girl in the second pic is looking up the girl in the first pics skirt, and starting to put her hands into her panties.
Damn, lesbian sex is everywhere.
Sorry about that Fuzzy Bottomed Anti-Christ, but ya know, work should really be for work.
In my capacity as Boz, Internet Legend I hereby call an end to internet crush week. As of ...
It is sooooo last week people.
Have a nice day, and don't forget,
You gotta be cruel to be kind.
Shooo Bop dooo waaaaaaa da da dah.
This and That Because I am too sick to make an actual post.
I may not be getting my fair share of internet crushes, but I bet I am leading the league in people dreaming about me, and wasn't that an awkward sentence, and by the way I was the lead singer for Manfred Mann and His Earth Band, not KI§§.
Say hi to Desmond Pfeiffer and his secret diary.It reads sort of like that bad acid trip I had back in 72, but that's not all bad, because God and I are still on a first name basis.
That's enough for now.
Norman, when you gonna buy me that canned ham?
Damn, I should have made it 50. It was all a clever ruse on my part to buy some time, because I am sick, sick I tell.
I've got laryngitis, and the sweats, and I am tired, and all I want to do is sleep.
Plus I have this weird craving to walk around in my underwear, and craving isn't the right word, but I'm also operating on diminished mental capacities, but back to the underwear part, I blame that on Dynamite Diva, who is now officially off of Angel Probation.
It was suggested to me about three hours ago by someone very dear to me that I should go to bed and try to get some sleep because I am kinda, sorta, very sick.
I tried, and I stayed in bed almost an hour, but whatever it was I took made me thirsty and unsleepy, so I got out of bed and somehow my computer booted up, so what the heck
getting a bit dizzy now.
Da plane, boss, Da plane.
Strawberry Fields fa ev ah.
I'm going to open up a PayPal account so I can save up for one of these.
Wait a second,
Red hair, fair complexion, kinky, into bondage ...
Who needs a PayPal account
Oh looooooooooosy. Something tells me there will be a very angry comment concerning this post when I wake up in the morning.
This is the Playboy playmate of the month for October 1968.
I saw her at a custom car show at Cobo Hall in Detroit Michigan in March of 1969.
I don't remember her name, but she was from Denmark, and I took her virginity in the back seat of a customized 1967 Pontiac GTO.
At least that is the way I remembered it later that night back in my bed, in my attic bedroom, with all the psychedelic posters on the walls, and the Claudine Longet albums playing on my Montgomery Ward Stereophonic record player, but it might have happened a little bit different, so bite me.
I think I called her Madja.
So what do you think about Boz Trading Cards. The Boz Rookie Card
The Boz Platinum Card
The Boz Holograph Card
The Boz UpperDeck Card
Ooooh, stop me, I'm getting giddy.
I could become the next hot auction commodity on Ebay.
$$$ Endorsements $$$
Hello, I'm Boz, drink Diet Coke.
Hello, I'm Boz, try new Viagra Lite.
Hello, I'm Boz, is your dog getting enough cheese, try new Kibble and Bits with Extra Cheese.
Hello, I'm Boz, is it that time of month, try (excuse me while I check Billy's post) Super Absorbancy Plus Tampons from Playtex.
I could go on, but all this cheese talk has made me hungry.
Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
If I were a pro wrestler, I'd want to be Road Warrior Hawk. He's the funny Road Warrior.
If I were a talk show host, I'd want to be Jerry Springer that way I'd be assured of having more teeth than all his guests put together.
If I were a snack cake, I'd want to be a Hostess Twinkie, and no, some generic twinkie just wouldn't do.
If I were a gland, I'd want to be a thyroid gland, because mine doesn't work, and I figure at least some part of me should work, and so that's what a thyroid gland looks like, like a little pink bowtie.
If I were really cool, I'd want to be really cool like mirrored sunglasses, the kind where you can see out, can't nobody see in cool.
If I were to have any sense, I'd go to sleep now, and I do, so I am, and awwwwwwwwwww sleeping babies are so cute, aren't they.
rosa dedicated a post to her bloggie buddies tonight.
Here is what she had to say about me:
heh heh Boz thought he was going to get out of this, Here i'll say what he wants me to say.... Boz made me popular.. there! I had been reading Boz for a while but had never commented, then one day i commented in my blog about me having 4 readers and he left a little note in my comments with one word..... 5! agggh.. Ive spoken to Boz a couple of times.... and for those of you who havnt had the pleasure, he's just as funny one-to-one, Boz with all his Smart-assed-ness has a heart of gold. Boz you would definately NOT be allowed to come to the sleep over, however if you ask nicely i'll leave the shutters open a little bit so you can watch and take photos. She talked about a lot of other people too, but mine was the only one that interested me.
Ah, go check out what she had to say about the others.
Go ahead, I know you want to.
And I didn't spellchecker her either, but I wanted to, oh man, I wanted to, where is my red pencil!
What is a blogger. We are exhibitionists that like the view from the closet.
We can't understand why people read us.
We can't understand why people don't read us.
We need validation and break out in a cold sweat when our commenting system goes down.
We don't sleep, at least not in the usual manner.
We have phobias, bunches and bunches of phobias.
We go overboard, hit me, hit me, yeah baby hit me, link me too.
We freak over our first Google, hey I'm #47 for babies without noses Google rocks!
Your money or your blog.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
I *heart* you.
You *heart* me.
C'mon everybody ... group *heart*
You're the best.
No, you're the best.
Blog Free or Die.
I think I've derailed again, but I'm on a roll, so fuck it.
By the way, I'm not boz, it's just a nickname, and I wish when I picked it I would have picked a better one.
I AM BOZ, and many derivations thereof.
Love me people, you know you want to, better yet send me money.
Darling, you-uuuuuu send me, honest you do, honest you do, honest you do.
Sing it Sam.
I Put A Spell On You is classic, but Constipation Blues is priceless
And Nick Cave wishes he had the balls to carry Screamin' Jays balls.
And man I had such a crush on Linda Ronstadt, until she became mainstream and popular and stuff, and why is that.
I am Lenny be my Squiggy
I am Burns be my Allen
I am Nichols be my May
I am tired be my pillow
Good night everybody
Drive carefully and may gaw bless.
Hello, I'm Johnny Cash ... not.
But I had you going for a minute now, didn't I.
It's Johnny Cash night on the old Boztrola.
Cause I shot a man in Reno ....
Just to watch him die!!!!!
I am working on a dynamite post, no not a post about Ms Diva, but a really rock-em sock-em robot type of post, where I will explain the fascination with blogs and the people who blog thereof.
And we all know how insightful I can be.
Ooooh, I'm getting all tingly just thinking about it.
After a quick nap and a wash up, I am now ready to face the world, but my plans to do yard work have been put on hold because it is just a little bit too nippy, even though the sun is shining and it is a beautiful day, so I'll probably just take a road trip
Get my kicks, on Route 66.
And on a more personal note, I'd like to thank lucy for getting me through some recent hard times.
If I were a country song I'd be Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash.
If I were a country I'd be Belgium.
If I were a breakfast food I'd be oatmeal with honey on it.
If I were a hammer I'd be a ball peen.
If I were a rich man I'd be probably be rich from winning the lottery.
If I were wide awake I'd probably be doing something else.
Beat me daddy eight to the bar ....
Ok, should I link Mo. She lives in Michigan, and so do I, and I don't have anyone linked from Michigan, and it wouldn't be a stalker kind of deal anyway, because she lives on the other side of the state, and I'm too agoraphobic to be a stalker anyway,
But I do read her blog, ok I've just started reading her blog, but I do read it, and I laugh, and I furrow my brow and ponder, and it makes me realize what a great world we live in, and I'm starting to lose touch with reality here, so I'll just link her and be done with it.
Protocol be damned.
Go to the light, and ...
I do know how to impress the ladies, it must be the glasses.
A Few Things, Not To Be Confused With 100 Things A. My brother-in-law looks just like Kenny Rogers, I mean just like him, dead ringer, folk singer, like him.
B. The lawns up here haven't started turning green yet.
C. I have had up to 20 deer in my front yard at one time.
D. And 50 wild turkey, but not at the same time as the 20 deer.
E. My 2002 red Chevy Cavalier looks really hot when it is clean, which it is now.
F. I'm not quite as cool as I seem, hard to believe isn't it, and does anyone use the word cool anymore to describe the act of coolness.
G. I went to High School with Mitch Ryder's kid brother.
H. A girl once told me I looked sexy when I danced, ok, the girl was my sister, but she wouldn't have said it if she didn't mean it, because at the time we didn't get along too well.
I. I almost saw John F. Kennedy give a speech when he was running for president, but the shopping center was too crowded, so I had to settle for once driving by a place where John F. Kennedy was giving a speech when he was running for President, I didn't actually drive either, my dad drove.
J. I was once hit in the head with a croquet ball.
K. I think I'll stop at K, because my first name starts with K.
Resident Evil for Cheeks
The zombie flesh eating film is not my genre, but it did have Milla Jovovich in it, and the less she speaks the better she is, and I don't mean that in a women should be seen and not heard sense, but in the sense she is such a bad actress that dialogue just gets in the way of her looks.
But it also had Michelle Rodriguez in it, and she just totally sucked, the sneer and the attitude just didn't cut it ...
Who am I kidding, the movie sucked ...
I hated it ...
The only think that kept me from falling asleep in the first half hour was when the black dude got sliced and diced by the laser beam.
And I'm tired, and I didn't want to write this, but I did, so that's it.
So are you people satisfied, did you drain enough of my blood today, I might have another pint or two left, do you want it, huh, do you want it ...
Resident Evil Report Card: C-
Oh, this is just great. It's 1pm and the city is doing road work just outside my bedroom window.
Looks like I'll be up the rest of the day.
I might even have to review Resident Evil like Cheeks requested. Ok, he didn't ask for a review, just my feelings about it.
Whoaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaaaaa, whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa feelings.
But I've always wanted to play Siskel and Ebert, but I'd rather play Siskel even though he's dead, than play Ebert, because the man is just not right.
PRIVATE TO LUCY: I'll fill you in on it tonight.
Don't ya, kinda, sorta, wish that sometimes you had a ten second time delay on your ENTER key.
It would make life so much easier.
In other news ...
Here is the link that description that Chez Pink gave for me:
the grand ennui - boz in the club showin' love, shakin that ass in the club, bozzie wha? Yeah, I don't understand what she says half the time, but I sure do like how she says it.
Things I did or learned today, or actually yesterday and early today. I got the car washed.
I took out the trash
I learned friends can and should talk things out.
I am in the same boat as Ben Browder.
I found some more jelly beans to eat, heaven help me.
I ate steak for dinner.
I bought 3 bars of generic Dial soap from the Dollar Store.
I played online cribbage.
I surfed porn, I was in an Asian mood today.
I watched the movie The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. I'll save you the trouble of renting it, the kid who was the "wise ass of the group" got killed by a cougar.
I talked with lucy.
I talked with rosa.
I talked with Irwin, the voice inside my head.
I tried to imagine Kevynn gimping around on his first day back at work.
I tried to imagine what songs are on the CD's that HD and Shanti burnt for me.
I listened to a copy of the CD that I burnt for HD and Shanti.
It is a very good CD, I have great taste in music, if you don't believe me just ask Shanti's mother.
I am the Strange Man.
I have been called worse.
Am I getting off the track.
Am I getting off.
Or am I just off.
I sing the body electric, but I sing it off key.
I know there is a post in here somewhere, but it just doesn't want to come out.
I think it's hidden behind my adenoids, and do we still have adenoids, and don't they usually take them out because they are useless, much like the tonsils, and the appendix, and in some people the soul.
I think they make either spam or hot dogs out of pig adenoids,
And I wonder how many hits I will get from pig adenoids, probably not many, but ...
Britney Spear's adenoids, the Olson Twin's adenoids, and Tawnee Stone's adenoids might just shut this sucker down.
Tawnee Stone is a very healthy young lady.
And I hear she's got a great personality, loves to dance, does volunteer work at the local senior citizens home, prays for world peace, sings in the church choir, makes a mean apple pie, mows the neighbors lawn, looks both ways before crossing, closes cover before striking, drinks at least four glasses of milk per day, meditates, abbreviates, and is not safe for work I took the link out because as Whitey Owns Me said, there a lot of pop-ups and it changes your home page, and ok, and a little bit because it offended lucy too. I am such a smutz.
Man, I'm drawing a complete blank tonight.
It happens, hey I'm sorry, I've been sick, I'm not a young man anymore, you don't excite me like you used to. It's that time of the month, I'm not a water faucet, or a heat pump, or an air conditioner, or hair conditioner, or the Phantom of the Opera, or the Mouse that Roared, or the Spy Who Came in From the Cold, or Tweedle Dum or Tweedle Dee, but I look a little like Tweedle Dum when I pull my pants up real high.
Johnny I want my liver back ...
Johnny-yyyyyyyyy, I want my liver back ...
Johnny-yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I'm on the first step
Cut to the chase ..........
I GOT IT!!!!
Politics bore me,
and so does a bunch of other stuff,
well, yeah, lots of other stuff, but when you pressure me like this my mind goes blank,
And isn't blank where I came in ..
10 Threats 1. Don't mess with me, I have Milky Pens.
2. Don't make me pull this blog over.
3. Why I oughta ...
4. How would you like me to ram this up your that. 5. If I didn't have my school clothes on, I'd kick your ...
6. Don't let your mouth write a check that your butt can't cash.
7. I'll wipe that smile off your ........ lame
8. Another lame one.
I've added three new links in the past few days.
paranoid.android A young lesbian with plenty of attitude, which is a good thing, or which are good things.
Clowns, Carnies, and Freaks written by rosa's brother, and I'm not sure if he is the Clown or the Freak, I think he has too many teeth to be the Carnie.
e-grrl.org a grrl with an e and an org, and if that doesn't say it all I don't what does.
My connection is once again humming and I did go out and rent three videos from the bigger video store that is 20 miles from here.
1.Pumpkin - starring the midway between pleasantly plump and skeletal skinny Christina Ricci.
2.The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys - believe it or not it is a comedy, starring Jodie Foster as a nun, and I wonder if it is the fact that it starred Jodie Foster or it is a comedy about altar boys that made it bomb at the box office.
3. Resident Evil - recommended by Cheeks, can you believe it, I mean this is the guy who thinks Magnolia is the Citizen Kane of the 21st century, but it does have Milla Jovovich in it and if nothing else she can make me have scary sex dreams for the next week or two.
My internet connection is all screwed up and it will be for most of the day, so since it is two for tuesday at the video place, I'm going to go rent a couple of video's or something.
Play amongst yourself until my connection is back up to snuff, and stuff.
10 1. I'll be glad when I finish off these jelly beans.
2. Can anyone recommend a good video?
3. My number in the November 1969 Draft Lottery was 305, which meant there was no way I was going to get drafted.
Unfortunately, I had enlisted in March of 1969.
4. It's your nickel.
5. It's like the 70's all over again.
6. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, by the Beatles, LSD, ya get it. Good Old Desk, by Harry Nilsson, GOD, ya get it. Same Old Boz, by Boz ....
7.Nina Simone just died.
8. I really liked that song Bridge Over Troubled Water, by her and Garfunkel.
9. Who played Fatso Judson?
10. and Joe Buck?
I have seven mice for my computer. Does this make me anal-retentive, or maybe obsessive-compulsive.
I'm using my IBM Optical Mouse now. I think it is my favorite, but my Ergonomic Mouse by Fellowes is nice too, but I hate cleaning the tracking ball, and don't even ask me about the four I have from Compaq, one that came with the computer and the other three I got under warranty because they exploded, well not actually exploded, but sort of like exploded, when I tried to open them up to clean the tracking ball.
Finally there is my Logitech Cordless Optical Mouse, which eats batteries like I eat jelly beans, waste of time and mo ...
Hold on a sec
Tie Me Kangaroo Down is playing
I wish I had a didgeridoo, Blue.
Lucy Lawless through the rearview mirror, and too bad I never watched Xena, or I could make some
comment about something, or something, or maybe even the rumors of something else.
Oh Lucy-yyyyyyyyyyyy, you got some 'splainin' to do. And I bet every Lucy in the world has heard that about a million times.
Here it is Monday afternoon, and I haven't even finished all the Monday morning stuff, but I have a good excuse, sort of,
I got distracted while I was shaving, and I had to finish some unfinished business.
Such is life, and the tribulations thereof.
Join us, along with Jessica Lynn Apathy, this year's poster child
for our Labor Day 2003
Telethon To Fight The Heartbreak That Is The Grand Ennui Remember, only with your $Financial$ support can we bring an end to ENNUI in our lifetime.
Boredom, the scourge of a generation.
I found my old guestbook that nobody had signed, well actually a few people had signed it but not in this century, so I deleted all the old entries and decided to resurrect it.
C'mon ... sign it.
Damn it .... SIGN IT!!
Whatever, I don't care if you sign it or not.
C'mon Puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeese, sign it.
The British Invasion Gerry and the Pacemakers trump Freddie and the Dreamers.
The Dave Clark Five trump Gerry and the Pacemakers.
The Hollies trump the Dave Clark Five.
The Animals trump the Hollies.
The Kinks trump the Animals.
The Yardbirds trump the Kinks.
The Who trump the Yardbirds.
The Rolling Stones trump the Who.
The Beatles trump the Rolling Stones.
Screw it. I was writing a post, but ...
Nah, forget I even brought it up.
Wasn't worth my time, even though time is on my side, yes it is.
I should shower and shave, or shave and shower, and you know I hardly ever nick myself shaving anymore.
The only time I nick is at night.
But I prefer TVLand, and did you hear that TVLand is having a May Day special.
Yep, it'll be Mayberry and Mayfield all day.
Opie and the Beaver, two of the biggest screw-ups in sitcom history.
I mean how many times did Andy have to take Opie out behind the woodshed for a good whippin'
And the Beaver made Opie look like a rocket scientist.
It's a wonder they both didn't get killed in Vietnam.
I mean with these two cretins as role models it's amazing I turned out as well as I did.
And don't even get me started on Chip and Ernie Douglas.
My froat is too sore to even type words that start with th.
I must have caught some weird Easter virus or something from eating too many jelly beans.
Speaking about jelly beans, as my niece and I were driving to the pizza parlor earlier we tried to come with an idea for a song.
All we got was a title.
Coffee, Cigarettes, Jelly Beans .... and You. Going for a country flavor, I guess.
I hurt too much to even care.
I am having company for the weekend, so I will have to get rid of my quasi-obscene desktop wallpaper. I hate when that happens.
Maybe I'll just go black, like my soul, my heart, my future, my t-shirt.
And, my throat is killing me, but the loopy quotient from the Whatever-Quil has worn off, so at least I am able to think and chew gum at the same time, except I don't have any gum.
I am BOZ, with a Z.
It's 6:30 in the morning and I just woke up with a very sore throat. Goddamn Michigan weather. I took some Ny-quil, Day-quil, Hi-quil, fill in the blank Quil and I am prepared to be loopy for most of the day.
I think I'll go to Nashville
Way down in Tennesseeeeeeeeeeeee
This ten cent live I've been living in the city
Ain't worth a dime to me.
Compliments of the surreal Fred Neil.
Meesa sooooooo tired.
I am so tired this is the only blog that makes any sense to me.
But it's a good honest blog, written by a good honest American citizen, yeah, like I know what kind of citizen he is, he could be John Wayne Gacey incarnate, and I wouldn't know, and why do so many murderers go by three names, and my mother used to call one of my cousins by his first and middle name, but I don't think he was a murderer, but he did live in the caves out in California back in the late 60's, and he did like to insinuate that he knew Charles Manson, but there you go, Charles Manson didn't go by three names, and I wonder what his middle name is, I bet it is Charles Atlas Manson, or something equally bizarre.
And if I were a serial killer would they call me Kenneth Vance Cole, which I think sounds more like a serial banker than a serial killer, or the Boz Killer? Oh yeah, I'd like to be known as the Boz Killer, not that I'd ever kill anyone, but If I did that cousin I was just telling you about would be on the top of the Boz Killer's list.
I do go on.
She's got a nice set of chest warts on her, and I bet she has green eyes and just a hint of freckles, and she went to parochial school, and her name is Mary Katherine, or Merry Catherine, or at least Kathleen.
Her name isn't Betty, that's for sure.
I know I am going to regret this, but I am going to have a big bowl of ice cream.
Moose Tracks with a ton of chocolate syrup on it, but this time I'll leave off the strawberry Cool-Whip.
Ice cream is good.
Chocolate is good.
Pie is good, too bad I don't have any pie.
What else is good?
Miss Molly is good.
Mister Wrench is good.
Two shoes is good, or are good, depending on how you feel about grammar.
Humor is good, and now we are back to ice cream, which we all know is good.
And go round and round and round on the circle game.
And go round and round and round on the circle game.
And go round and round and round on the circle game.
Good movie coming on TCM.
The Sweet Smell of Success With a couple of 50's dudes.
Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis.
I kind of wanted to be Burt Lancaster when I grew up, or should I say be like Burt Lancaster, he played some really bad-ass roles, don't you know.
And I think he screwed a young Susan Sarandon, before she became political, and maybe that's what made her political, and have you seen Tim Robbins lately? If he becomes anymore effeminate ... well, if he becomes anymore effeminate, he'll be really, really, really effeminate.
Speaking of Tony Curtis, do you think Jamie Lee is really a hermaphrodite?
Ok, here is something I bet most of you free Blogger users didn't know.
If you read the advertisement at the top of the page it reflects the content of your blog.
danee brought this to my attention when I was visiting her blog.
It's true, it really is.
I have a digital camera and I'm not afraid to use it. The only problem is I don't have any ideas on what to photograph, I mean I can only take so many pictures of myself before even I get tired of it.
So, your assignment, if you accept it, is to give me some suggestions on what to photograph, keeping in mind that I live in a small town in northeast Michigan, so I can't very well take a pic of somebody hang gliding off the Empire State Building, but we do have lots of water, and lots of trees, and a store that sells emu jerky.
Anything goes, and if I get any response I'll whip up a page, and why do I even bother, because the odds of me getting any suggestions are about the same odds of me winning a Nobel Prize in [fill in the blank].
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my earlier post about Bozley's Angels that Dynamite Diva wrote a most excellent profile, which has been posted and if you check out her homepage you will discover her in a quintessential Angel Pose.
Long live the anti-thong, and the cameltoe, and the bellybutton, and the beauty mark just above the bellybutton, and the almost hidden but noticeably pert breasts, and the cute little bow, and ...
God Bless the USA!
Stop me before I kill ..
or better yet before I write.
Last night I visited the Bukowski link that Kevynn has on his site, and it almost tempted me to try and write a poem, because, as you all know, I am the last survivor of the beat generation, at least in my own mind, and I could do it, but everyone hates poets, and besides ...
The cockroaches munch the half-eaten tamale,
As Kenton blows jazz,
And the paint flakes off the walls of my mind.
This is the story of our times.
10 MORE THINGS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD 1. I have a bald spot on the back of my head shaped like Greenland
2. I've mellowed
3. My brother-in-law is the spitting image of country/western superstar Kenny Rogers, or is that Rodgers
4. She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah
5. You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you've a mind to
6. Superman was my favorite comic book hero growing up, because, dammit I wanted my hero's to be perfect, not some wimp ass teenager like Peter Parker aka Spiderman, hell I was a wimp ass teenager, and I didn't need Stan Lee throwing it back in my face
7. Love stinks, but not as bad as the pair of sneakers that I keep out in the garage that I wear when I mow the lawn
8. I envy women that can grow a decent mustache
9. When I was in high school I converted my walk in closet into a hippie haven, with posters, and blacklights, and incense and stuff.
10. I am not, nor have I ever been Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years
10 THINGS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD 1. I liked the movie Walking Tall
2. Lemon Jello is good
3. Rock & Roll is dead
4. Hitler is dead too
5 QWERT spelled backwards is TREWQ
6. Ivory Soap floats
7. When I was seventeen it was a very good year, both for me and Sinatra, better for Sinatra
8. If you eat black jelly beans, only eat black jellybeans, they don't play well with the other colors.
9. I'm pissed off at someone today, but I'll get over it.
Ok, I'm up, and I'm up for the rest of the day.
I've got to take the car in at 1:00 pm for it's first year check-up.
Rotate the tires and lube something, and how come whenever I think of lube the following phrase comes to mind:
and be sure to use plenty of lube because ...
My God, they're going to have anal sex with my car!
I got nothing left guys and dolls.
I'm going to bed ... now
But first did I ever tell you about the time that I hit a baseball so far that a cow swallowed it.
It's true, I can't make something like that up, now can I.
Has Ken Griffey Ripken Jr ever done that!
And I don't care if I never come back.
Ya' know, the sixties were really kind of cool.
It wasn't all protest and war and stuff, and the sixties were my formative years, so I know what I'm talking about.
And there was FASHION
Bleeding madras shirts
Or was it Paisley
Powder blue levis, yeah powder blue, sounds so gay now, but they were de rigeur back in the day
Cordovan penny loafers
Navy pea coats
Cordoroy, yeah, I acutally had a three piece cordory suit, and it was the heat, baby.
No socks at all in the summer time, didn't matter what you wore, NO FUCKIN' SOCKS
Sneakers were out, way out, get them sneakers out of here man, I'm freaking on 'em
White was out, oh man, get caught with a white shirt on,
But hey my gramma bought me this shirt,
And they'd fill your jockstrap with Heet,
While you were wearing it.
That's enough for now, Gary Lewis and the Playboys are playing Cobo next month and I want to be sure to get my tickets.
I don't mean to brag but ...
I had a cousin who was the town drunk in Cookeville, Tennessee. His name was Hollis, and he was a lot older than me, and I only met him once, when I was 15 and he was probably in his 40's, and he was a pretty nice guy, but he was sober when I met him, and they say he had a pretty mean streak when he'd been drinking, and people liked to say he was too smart for his own good, so I guess he was a tragic soul, and not too many years after I met him he died in a fire in the shack he was living in, which they say was caused by his smoking in bed.
Yep, town drunk in Cookeville, Tennessee.
Pardon me if I gloat a bit.
Holy Toledo Ohio Manfred!!!
I drove by the bank at 5:30 and the temperature was 83 degrees.
I drove by the bank at 6:45 and the temperature was 59 degrees.
Wait, there's more ....
While driving by the bank the weather forecast came on the radio
The high for tomorrow is only going to reach the upper 30's.
Thanks to lucy's gentle chiding I was able to get the mud room cleaned, put new curtains up, clean the bird cage, and vacuum the entire house.
I finally got my phone call, but now I am too tired from all the stuff I did to enjoy the beautiful weather.
I need a nap bad, real bad.
Thanks again lucy.
Can you sense the sarcasm dripping from my words!
So here it is 80 degrees outside, and I am stuck, stuck I tell you, in the house, waiting for a phone call that can come anytime, but probably won't come for another four hours.
But hey ...
I am Boz
I'll deal with it.
rosa and I had a very nice chat on yahoo last night where, among other things, we discussed her almost perverse fascination with
Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo. And ...
The extreme crush I had on Sigrid Thornton.
C'mon, Sigrid is a cool name, admit it, ok, it's not as cool as Skippy, but it's still cool.
I should post more pics of Asian chicks, after all I did spend a year of my then young life in Japan, and I think they still refer to it as The Year of Boz in the Japanese history books, while I refer to it as the year I don't remember much about, mostly because there was so much to remember, and even mostlier because ...
I was only twenty-one at the time, and what would you have done, given the same set of circumstances
and mostly it was legal
except for the illegal parts, which only made up a very small percentage, and the Japanese have some very strange laws anyway. and the statue, or is that statute, of limitations has probably run out by now, but I don't think I'll chance going back to Japan any time soon.
And geez, it sounds like a woodpecker with a jackhammer right outside my bedroom window, and how will that effect the odds of me getting back to sleep.
A chick, a belly, and some jeans, and just to show you where my mind is, I labeled this pic as bellyjeans, not to be confused with jellybeans, and speaking of jellybeans ...
Let me be the first to wish you a Happy Easter and a Belly Full of Jeans.
Today is the second highest hit count total I have ever had, and I still have 3 and a half hours to go.
It must be all the Ty Pennington underwear pics that I don't have, and the Paige Davis cleavage shots, that I also don't have.
Or it could be that I have cool by the balls and I just won't let it go, or not.
Bob Dylan should not be allowed to record LIVE albums.
Dylan at his best, is an acquired taste, and I do admit to the fact that I am a big fan of his stuff from the sixties, but Geeze Louise, keep him in the studio where the producer can sort of, kind of, you know, splice together something barely listenable, while using weapons of mass destruction to eliminate the rest of the garbage.
And maybe the doctors shouldn't have tried so hard after Dylan had the motorcycle accident back in 1966, but that's just my opinion, valid though it may be.
How can I stir up some hits?
According to TV Guide Lizzie McGuire is now America's sweetheart, Olsen twins now reduced to doing sleazy Mexican porno's.
Ty Pennington of Trading Spaces is either gay or not gay, and has posed in the nude or in his shorts.
Paige Davis isn't a nymphomaniac, but she shows a lot of butt, belly, and boobs, and I think she wears edible panties.
Olsen Twins, thong.
Britney Spears, thong
Anna K, thong and nipple slip.
OJ Simpson's daughter Sydney poses nude for Playboy.
Blogger is screwy today, and so is my commenting system.
But, hey, it's 70 some degrees outside, so I shouldn't be sitting here anyway, but I do have two windows open and I am sitting in a nice cross breeze, and I've already been outside a bunch of times today, no really, I have, I even took a two mile walk, that would only have been a one mile walk, but I got lost somewhere between here and there, and it turned into a two mile walk, and it's funny how that stuff works out, isn't it.
Well, isn't it!
The role of the question mark will be performed by the exclamation point.
And now that my body, along with the rest of me is now acclimated to DST ...
How cool is it!!!!
She looks pretty sullen though, doesn't she, and I bet she isn't an operating room nurse either, and I bet she isn't even a nurse, of course she's probably played doctor a few times, and that reminds me of the time when I was six years old and Monica Leigh Mitchell and I were in the tent in her backyard and she showed me how girls and boys were different, and I will forever be in her debt for that.
Thanks Monica, who loves ya baby!
Just leaning back and listening to RadioBoz. And by the way ...
Last call for anyone who wants to trade CD samplers.
I think Shanti will be pleasantly surprised with her CD,
since her birthday is coming up in the not too distant future
I stopped at the Dollar Store and picked her up a little something extra,
because that's just the way I am.
Well, I didn't actually spend a Dollar, I found something in the fifty cent bin,
but this will be the best fifty cent gift she ever gets,
I'm banking this will even get a
out of her.
I am watching Trading Spaces Goes Hollywood. And guess what ...
Andy Dick was misnamed, he should have been named Andy "Big Asshole, and Throw in Dipshit, and Cluster Fuck While You're At It"
Pardon My French.
Question: What is the least attractive piece of women's clothing.
Answer: Knee high stockings.
Now I didn't say they aren't functional. With a pair of slacks, or whatever they are fine, they are just not meant to be seen.
There is no such thing as a knee high stocking fetish, so when you do your next glamour sitting ...
leave the knee highs at home.
I am the luckiest man in the world, and not just because I'm not Leonardo DiCaprio, but because
I won a free piece of pie at Burger King for matching the lucky number on my receipt.
And they even bent the rules a little for me, but why shouldn't they because, I am BOZ, by letting me have
cheese cake instead of pie.
Do I rule or what!
Pissed off chick, with a gun, in the bathroom, which isn't a good sign, but wait, she isn't pissed off, her mascara is running, she's been crying, she's sad, with a gun, in the bathroom, and I'm not going to be the one to clean the blood ....
I don't like where this is heading,
So, I'll just end it here,
Except to say, she looks good in black, doesn't she.
Ok, some of Bozley's Angels have yet to submit their Angel names or a brief character description.
If they aren't submitted by Monday morning I will be forced to make the choice for you.
And I am partial to the name ...
Not a pretty sight, is it.
Today is April 12th, my sister's birthday.
She passed away last year.
When we were kids we couldn't stand each other, but the older we got the more we liked each other.
She was the only person I enjoyed talking on the phone with, because all I had to do was ask her how she was doing and she would talk non-stop for fortyfive minutes, and all I had to say was "ah" or "tell me about it" or "you're kidding" whenever she stopped to take a breath.
You would have liked her.
Rest In Peace, sis.
I am now accepting applications for
Since it was ATL Superstar's idea
she get's to be Head Angel The Requirements
1. Must be able to flip your hair.
2. Must be able to do the pose,
3. Must adopt a cute Angel pseudonym, such as Trish, Samantha, Jill, etc, etc, etc.
4. Oh yeah, and most importantly you must be able to breathlessly coo "Hello Bozley" whenever we meet.
To see the only real benefit of being a Bozley's Angel run your cursor over Exit Zero aka ATLSuperstar in my link's list.
Well, I'm going to bed now, but do you remember the TV show Alien Nation, it was on Fox for a couple years back in the day.
Some of those alien chicks were sexy looking, don't you think.
Well anyway, I'm tired and I'm sick, and I'm independently wealthy ... ch'yeah
But I am tired and sick, and for Popeye's arch enemy which name did your prefer
Brutus or Bluto, they were the same guy, why the name change.
I guess I'll never understand those Hollywood types.
And for sure if Popeye, Bluto and Olive Oyl were real, you just have to know they'd end up on the Jerry Springer Show,
and I'd watch just to see if Olive flashed her boobage, what do you think, an A cup, maybe a B at the most, and like I know from cup size, but if I were a cartoon character, I'd do it with Ms Oyl, totally, fer sure, and help me get out of the Valley, dude!
I'm going to bed and have cartoon fantasy sex.
I don't feel so good, I ate too many of those candy orange slices.
The first ten were really good, the second ten weren't bad, the third ten made me sick, and the last ten made me even sicker,
I wonder what would happen if I had a few more, what could it hurt, I'm already sick.
I wish dvl would get her own blog so I could bust her chops for awhile.
I show you my shoe and curse at you dvl,
and if there is a statue of you in your home town I will bring it crashing down,
and kick you head around like a soccer ball,
and I think it's time I turn off MSNBC for awhile.
and my teeth could use a brushing and wouldn't that be a prime example of stilted English.
But wouldn't stilted English be the least of my grammatical problems.
But I embrace my run-on sentences, and so should you.
But if you embrace yourself, don't do it too much or too enthusiastically, because I heard it's degrading.
I am bored, I mean really really bored.
The hockey game is putting me to sleep, and I am all hot and sweaty, and my teeth could use a brushing, and don't even tell me about body odor, and I have this one nose hair that has a mind of it's own, it has sort of corkscrewed into my nostril and is driving me up the wall, I want to sneeze, but I can't sneeze, I want to sneeze, but I can't sneeze, ad infinitum.
And it sounds like I am starting to whine, doesn't it. So I'll stop, in a second, in a minute, or how about now.
Anyone want to burn a sampler compilation CD and trade?
I have some strange tastes running from the 50's to the present.
What have you got to lose. It only costs about a buck and a quarter postage, and in return you'll get 20 plus songs, and I can almost guarantee that you don't have any of them in your CD collection.
What a deal!!!
I will trade with anyone interested, just leave a comment, and we can go from there.
Man, you know what I hate.
I hate people who brag about working the New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle in ink.
If they really want to impress me they should try working it in a typewriter.
Nobody has ever bragged to me about working the New York Times Sunday Crossword Puzzle in ink.
I'm a fraud.
As a matter of fact, most of the people I know write in crayon ... fraud
Delete or post?
Post or delete?
Geeeeeez, heartburn attack!!
But still better than an assburn attack.
The fraud ... I'm a fraud,
Is going to bed.
File this under one of the lamest posts I have ever made.
Exit stage right ... even.
Let me make an addendum to an earlier post. This was 6½ inches of snow slush and ice, no snowblower, no salt or no salt spreader thingie was going to take care of this. It's 6½ inches and thick ...
It's 6½ inches and thick ...
It's 6½ inches and thick ...
It's 6½ inches and thick ...
And I think you know what point I am trying to drive home here,
but if you aren't quite sure, let me re-iterate ...
It's 6½ inches and thick ...
Sorry, I've been downloading sexually suggestive songs from Kazaa Lite all night and I can't be held responsible for the tawdry thoughts running through my brain at this particular juncture in time.
April showers, don't you just hate when that happens.
April showers, don't you just hate when that happens, well when it happens to me, but not when it happens to scantily clad chicks in see thru tops, and stuff.
And speaking about stuff ...
She stuffs that top pretty good.
That ends another edition of
Boz's Blog and Boobs Emporium.
This bulletin just in from our Foreign Desk ...
Russian opposition to the war in Iraq crumbled when it was learned the US government threatened to implement an embargo on Russian Porn.
Who said economic boycotts don't work.
This is a repost of the first entry I made in my blog back on September 19th, 2002. I don't even think it was The Grand Ennui at that point.
This is my first entry in my new journal. The website has been fairly easy to create, once I got the hang of things. The html is pretty easy, and I have been able to find all the tools that I need. From here on out I think I will just be adding and tweaking as I go along. I love a good tweak.
Sigh, I was so naive back then.
But it was true then and it's true now
I really do love a good tweak.
a recent addition to my GuestMap:
Posted by :
Date Posted : April 7th, 2003 (5:45 AM)
huh? : HOOAH!
what? : Hafa?
where? : GUAM
now? : Yeah!
paper or plastic? : shit...rubbers baby
Comments : suck me beautiful!
He called me beautiful, I think I'm in love.
I was going to say I think I'm in heart,
but that's a little too gay.
If you could change the name of my blog, what would you call it, and why.
Ok, it's 4am and I just woke up and I am typing this through sleep encrusted eyes and
a brain subjected to an unhealthy amount of MC5 as a youth.
So pick out a name
KICK OUT THE JAMS brothers and sisters
Ok, I need a show of hands out there.
How many of you guys are in touch with your feminine side.
As far as that goes, how many of you guys can spell feminine without spellcheck.
And as far as that goes, how many of you femmes out there are in touch with your masculine side.
And I don't mean in a crossdressing sort of way, but feel free to admit to that if you do,
I mean the little things, like if you're a guy and you cried when Debra Winger died in Terms of Endearment,
or if you're a chick and you lift your leg and fake groan when you fart.
Or as far as that goes
Anyone interested in having a blogathon chat in the Grand Ennui chat room, let me know, and maybe we can set something up for the near future. It can be like the pre-Bozzie Award chat, but .....
Only better, because ....
How could it be any worsterest.
I'm doing away with question marks, they're too hard for me to type, I mean left pinkie shift and right pinkie ?, is just too difficult,
easy for you, difficult for me, s'all right, s'all right, for my gnarly fingers.
And when was the last time you heard anyone do a Señor Wences riff?
Doh, I said no more question marks!!!
Oh yeah, the whole chat thing was
The Angst Ridden Bopper's idea, but she got all Teen Queen and wienied out of it.
Something is wrong terribly wrong.
Crosby, Stills and Nash, the voices of the Woodstock Generation, the spokespeople for peace, love, and understanding, not to mention every kind of illegal drug known to man, are scheduled to perform at an indian casino here in Michigan.
From the Woodstock Generation to the Paper Cup Full of Quarters Generation.
The Who co-headlining the state fair circuit with the Lawrence Welk Orchestra?
I am really amazed at the skepticism concerning my post on Ty Pennington's lost porno movie. It is him people, why would I lie about something like that. Not only is it him, but his partner is Hildi Santo-Tomas before she got all anorexic and stuff.
A little faith people, and a little trust while you're at it.
Am I the only one still being kicked in the nads by the time change?
I'm watching something in French on the CBC out of Montreal, or as the french say .. Monreal, or a close facsimile of Monreal.
And I think I'd like to visit Montreal, because once I saw a movie that took place in Montreal and there were a lot of really fashionable blah blah blah.
Anyway, have you ever noticed when I hit a dead end with a post I just sort of end it, and start rambling on about this or that, sort of like I am doing now, hold on a second they are showing naked french canadian strippers on CBC, bah, silicone.
Where was I?
I guess if you have to be French then French-Canadian is the way to go.
Boz me with a spoon, and other terms of endearment, and I know she died in the movie, but whatever happened to Debra Winger, I mean she is at least as talented as Demi Moore, and while we are on the subject. whatever happened to Demi Moore.
Death to the Question Mark, and off to bed.
Ty Pennington's Lost Porno Video. You Ty loving freaks didn't know about Ty's porno past, did you. Well, here at The Grand Ennui, we spare no expense, as long as it's free, in bringing you more bang for your buck. Space problems prohibit me from showing the video, but I can let you see a few shots saved from the cutting room floor.
When they make the movie of your life who will play you and who will play your love interest.
C'mon you know they'll make a movie of your life, eventually.
I'm thinking Bill Murray for me,
and Annette O'Toole as my love interest.
The much anticipated bum and thong pic, or is that drum und strang pic.
Whatever, talk to the hand, and my god, they look hot and stuff, but it must feel like you have a pipe cleaner between your cheeks, and I mean I get all testy when my briefs ride up just a little, so it's no wonder why all these young women are such rowdy girls, it's caused by their underpants, and maybe one of those medical journals should do a paper on the relationship between thongs and attitudinal behavioral shifts in post-adolescent girls.
Or maybe it's just a drum und strung pic after all.
Help me, help me, help me.
I close my eyes and I see monkeys, slack jawed, razored toothed, slavering monkeys.
What is it with bloggers and friggin' monkeys, and it is spelled monkeys, not monkies, by the way.
Monkey this, monkey that, monkeys flying out my ass.
And when I say monkeys, I mean monkeys, and chimps, and gorillas and baboons, and anything else that walks on two legs and claims to be our antecedents, and I'm not sure I buy that anyway, I prefer the little known, but equally plausible theory that man is descended from Belgian waffles, dispute that you monkey freaks!
Word to the wise before I go back to bed.
Never eat jelly beans early in the morning because the resulting sugar rush makes your brain do funny things, witness the preceding post.
Good night everybody, as I wave like the tard who stands at the side of the road with the transistor radio that doesn't work, mostly because it isn't really a transistor radio, but a block of wood painted black, with an old car antenna taped to it.
But it probably doesn't matter to him, because I bet he hears his own kind of music, somehow, someway, in his brain or something.
Geeky girl in violet with nipple slips, and you know what. She is a VJ on MTV, or MUV, or M something V, in Russia, or one of those other countries over there that used to be communist, but isn't anymore, so I guess the first thing you do when you quit being a commie bastard is slip out your nips, or something.
I'll just save the thong and butt crack pic till the morning.
Cause nothing says "Good Morning" like a thong and butt crack pic.
Ty Penington, retard or just a dufus ... I'll decide.
Who in their right mind would pick him over the genderbendering beautiful Amy Wynn Pastor.
The genderbendering beautiful Amy Wynn Pastor, what more could you want, tits and a toolbelt!!!
Amy Wynn Pastor, too hot to be gay, to handy to be straight.
And don't you think that Paige Davis tries to flaunt her body, just a little too much, 15 cleavage shots and 12 bare midriffs a show is pushing it just a tad.
And by the way, I have never had those kind of thoughts, late at night, while in bed, about Paige Davis.
This is such a pain in the ass.
My microphone isn't working.
My scanner isn't working.
My cordless optical mouse isn't working.
My old mouse won't fit in the p/s 2 slot.
The new mouse I bought, on my second 40 mile round trip to Kmart's today, is very hard to control.
And my links aren't showing up on my blog.
I feel like a member of the republican guard.
Life just flat out sucks, doesn't it.
Happy Daylight Savings Time to one and all.
Do we get gifts today?
Seems like we should, or at least I should.
So if anyone has anything they would like to give me, gift wise, please feel free to contact me
and I am sure we can work something out.
And remember, I do accept Paypal.
But I wouldn't turn down checks, money orders, or cash,
Even loose change, but I would prefer it to be rolled,
It would make it much easier for me when I take it to the bank.
Even a canned ham would be nice,
lake front property
Stanley Cup playoff tickets,
Donations to the charity of your choice, in my name.
Bowling shoes, new or used, but if used make sure they are disinfected.
Turkish taffy, Bit-o-honey, Mars bars
Faygo Red Pop
Restraints, leather or metal
a Boomerang, one that comes back preferred
One of those toy pigs that defecates when you squeeze them
An assortment of Whamm-o products.
A Wendy's gift certificate
A pair of droopy sweat socks autographed by the late Pistol Pete Maravich.
American Tourister Luggage, with wheels
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck, a hug around the neck, a hug around the neck,
Someone on the Fox News Channel just said that Iraq was being de-Saddamized.
Does that mean they are being un-anal raped?
You have to love Fox. They never let the English language get in the way of a good story.
I like this pic, I really like this pic, I really really like this pic.
I mean, what's not to like, you've got red hair, you've got jeans, you've got a thong, and you've got a bodacious tattoo.
Did I tell you that I liked this pic, I really liked this pic, I really really liked this pic?
Or is it just me?
I should probably go to bed, but geez, this is so much fun.
Sitting here in my underwear, both boxers and briefs,
you heard me right, both boxers and briefs, and proud of it dammit
listening to internet radio
while I do the hully-gully in my chair.
And once when I was younger, much younger I got drunk twice in one day.
Got drunk in the morning, sobered up, took a nap, and got drunk again that night.
But I am sure most of you have done that, but I doubt if any of you have gotten drunk three times in a day, and if you have can I have a peek at your liver, while you still have it.
Speaking of liver, I can have about two bites of liver before I push the plate away and remark that it tastes an awful lot like a pencil eraser, and it does, you know it really does.
I'm weak, I'm weary, and lordy you know I'm tired.
So it's off to the rack, Jack!
Into my bed, Fred!
Under the quilt, Milt!
I am getting out tomorrow even if I have to put on some Elmer Fudd snowshoes.
I am getting out tomorrow even if I have to have sex with a smelly person.
I am getting out tomorrow even if I have to wear pink socks.
I am getting out tomorrow even if I have to sing Barry Manilow songs to Celine Dion lookalikes.
I am getting out tomorrow even if ....
I ran that into the ground a lot quicker than I thought I would.
Nicknames I have had besides boz. 1. Whitey - I had really blonde hair as a kid.
2. Old King Cole - Kinda obvious.
3. Cash - After my favorite ballplayer Stormin Norman Cash.
4. Trash - a bastardization of Cash
5. Everybody's favorite - as in everbody's favorite pain in the ass.
But never, and I mean never, call me ..
I have made another startling discovery.
Hold on to your shorts people for this one
dun dun dun ...
Amy Choppa and Shanti are the same person.
No way you say.
But I say "way" Jose.
Just go listen to their audblogs, and then tell me that I'm full of it.
Choppa Shanti I should've been a detective, or something.
I mean dammit, I even amaze myself sometimes on how I come up with this stuff.
It's a gift, isn't it.
I see London, I see France ...
There is nothing like a pic of a woman in men's underwear to get your blood flowing.
Woman, in man's underwear, and they are Fruit of the Loom's, what more could you want,
what more can you need,
what more is there.
Well, I'm waiting.
I need to get out more, I really, really, do.
Out where women roam the streets in ...
Now this is a great head of hair.
I wonder if she washes it with beer.
And I wonder if she is a beer snob, and I knew a real beer snob in college, he would drink nothing but Canadian beer, nothing wrong with Canadians or their beer, even though rumor has it that ....
But you know I don't deal in rumors, or rumours since I am talking about Canadians.
Oh yeah, the beer snob was also a television snob, meaning that he didn't watch it, or at least he said he didn't but he knew a little too much about Rocky and Bullwinkle, and the love life of Barbara Walters, for me to believe that.
Excuse the slipped nip,
if you please.
I guess I should go shovel the icy snow off the driveway, patio, sidewalk, and porch, but ...
I have no but, but ...
I'm stalling for time till I come with a but.
Oh man, it's the 4th of April and I don't want to shovel any freaking snow off any freaking driveway, freaking patio, freaking sidewalk, or freaking porch.
I mean I should be looking for the suntan lotion, and the tiny little paper umbrellas to put in my glasses of pink lemonade loaded with crushed ice, oh yeah, and don't forget the maraschino cherries, man I love maraschino cherries, and maybe if I stall long enough the icy snow will melt, and did I mention it is icy snow, not that soft fluffy snow of mid-December, but that crusty, icy, bleechy snow that if you fell on it would give you a concussion or a big gash on your arm, or head, or ass, or something.
Oh well, feel my pain, feel my heartache, feel my ....
whoaaaaaaa, don't feel that, I don't know you that well.
I just went out to try to shovel it, and I found the but ...
that I was looking for.
I tried to shovel the snow but ...
it is snow covered ice, and I don't do snow covered ice, and since we are supposed to get more crappy weather tonight, I'll just wait till tomorrow and call someone with a plow.
I'm already going stir crazy.
Stir Crazy, starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor and some woman who was probably kind of popular back in the late 70's and early 80's, but like Margot Kidder, is probably lurking around someone's backyard in Encino looking for her dentures, and isn't that sad, Sean Connery just turned 87 and is still considered sexy, well as sexy as you can be with Depends pantylines showing through, and yet (fill in the blank with any actress over the age of 40) can't get arrested, unless it is for vagrancy, or shoplifting, or solicitation, or something.
Yep, it sounds pretty nasty out there.
I can hear the sleet or frozen rain hitting the roof and the side of the house.
But I don't really care, as long as I don't lose power, or my shoes.
I was going to try to stay up till 3am est, and damn doesn't edt start this Sunday.
And damn, that means I am going to lose an hour of sleep.
Well, i won't actually lose it, I'll just sleep an hour longer.
That's me, I know all the angles, not angels, I don't think I know any of the angels
Celestial or California.
But that's just me.
Feel free to know them if you like.
I forgot had the webcam on, and I am almost positive I have picked my nose at least a half dozen times.
So, if you were watching, and happened to notice, ixnay on the ickpay of the osenay, ok.
Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, and I imagine that would bring endless joy to my mother.
I am so excited.
I have just been promoted to the first spot on
Fat Free Fungi's link list.
Well, first spot next to his bot, who is totally latent, if you know what I mean.
Oh yeah, and his radio station, that I am sure no one listens to, because he has a continuous loop of Neil Diamond and Wayne Newton songs on his play list, and even I get tired of Neil and Wayne after a few days.
But other than that I am #1 !!!!!!
I feel so validated!
Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, as you internet trendies are fond of proclaiming.
and Double Rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Wait a second
Hasn't he been in my first position for months?
What took you so long?????
I feel like an Arayan Nation's prison bitch.
Dennis Leary, who needs him.
Dennis Leary, 3rd rate comedian, 4th rate actor, 1st rate jock sniffing asshole.
It'll take a lot more than a couple of cartons of Marlboro Light 100's to make Dennis Leary cool.
Dennis Leary, who needs him. He'll never be my best friend.
It is really getting nasty out there, a mix of sleet and freezing rain.
I've only been home a couple of hours and I already have cabin fever.
Maybe I should just take a nap and when I wake up it will have all gone away.
Looks like I am going to be here for the rest of the day, and probably tomorrow too.
Big winter storm coming our way.
Rain, freezing rain, sleet, snow, wind, and falling temperatures.
Schools let out early today and will probably be closed tomorrow.
Luckily I was able to get out earlier and stock up on essentials.
And Toilet Paper.
I am set to rock and ready to roll ...
I have a plan.
The kind of plan you only get at 5 in the morning when you can't get back to sleep.
I am going to have celebrities make guest posts on my blog.
But this is where the real genius part of it comes into play ...
I will be writing the posts,
Cause we all know that celebrities are way too important to have to do the trivial things in life
Unless of course, their celebrity status in on the wane
Then of course, they play it fall all it is worth.
Can you imagine the fun you'll have reading a guest post by Richard Gere and his gerbil
or ... an anti-war rant by the mawkishly attractive Janeane Garofolo, she'll use her notes and everything
or ... an "I'm lucky to be alive" tale of redemption from Nick Nolte, or Mickey Rourke, or Jan-Michael Vincent, or Gary Busey.
I could go on and on,
Morpheus awaits, I think.
I can hardly wait for the fun to start.
Roger, over and out.
But first, please tell me I'm brilliant.
Ok, I really have to go to bed now.
Please, don't try to trick me into staying up any longer.
My neck feels like Frankenstein monsters neck must have felt with those two butt ugly bolts sticking out of it.
and it's stein, not steen.
And I read some where that Mel Brooks is gay, or at least bi, so that must leave Anne Bancroft with a lot of free time on her hands, but then again, I also read that she was a lesbian, or at least bi, so it probably works out very well for both of them.
Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?
Well, duh ...
Dustin, get a clue, she was sitting there in her underwear.
in an easy chair, I do declare.
I am working on a list, suggested by The Angst Ridden Bopper, of
Attractive Internet Females Actually she suggested attractive internet guys, but I'm not even going to go there, and I don't want to start a hissy fight between Kevynn and Cheeks, so I'll just ...
sticks to the chicks.
And of course all the femme names on my links list are a given, so they won't be included on the list.
and didn't I handle that potential catastrophe rather adeptly.
While going through my daily reads today I was struck by all the honesty.
lucy, and ATLSuperstar, mayamaya, and even Cheeks have made really deep soul searching posts in the past few days.
It made me think.
It made me search my soul.
I have to stop deceiving you people.
I can't go on living this lie.
My name is not really boz.
I am not the internet superstar I pretend to be.
Everything you think you know about me is a lie.
Today you learn the truth about someone you thought you knew ...
My real name is Missy
and I am a nineteen year old college cheerleader.
Please don't hate me for misleading you.
I just wanted to be accepted.
Can we still be friends?
Oh yeah, the answer to the April Fool's day quiz was ..
b. I never saw the Beatles in concert.
And all the others are true.
With these explanations.
a. Actually I slept through Hurricane Camille
c. I was only twelve years old and too dumb to be scared, but damn, that plane was bouncing all over the place, and there was one woman who kept trying to open the hatch, or the door, or whatever the freak they call it, and get out .. while the plane was still flying
and they ran out of barf bags, so I gave the flight attendant mine, which was empty at the time, and about five minutes later I sort of wished I hadn't given it to her
And when we finally landed, a bunch of people actually, no, I mean actually, got down on their knees and kissed the ground.
d. and he has a mullet too, or he did the last time I saw him, and I think he probably still does.
Except, I wish I could swear in Turkish.
A boobage pic for all the rack fanatics, but it looks like it's more of a belly button fetishist's wetdream, and doesn't she look like a young Jennifer Jason Leigh, a young and healthy Jennifer Jason Leigh, and sort of like a thirteen year old boy with tits, so that must have been what I was talking about.
And it is almost midnight and I haven't been April Fooled yet, but then again I haven't gotten the traditional "12 Gifts of All Fool's Day" either.
I think I'm getting the short end of the wienie on that one.
Jinkies, it's April Fool's Day.
Don't go pulling any of that stuff on me.
And in honor of April Fool's day ...
One of the following statements is a lie.
1. I went through Hurricane Camille.
2. I saw the Beatles in concert.
3. I was a passenger on an airplane that almost crashed.
4. I have a nephew who is a male model.
You tell me.